My life rules

[54321nought]

Things life has taught me

1. Never never never eat white bread, or feed it to children, it just changes to sugar in your body, it is poison!

1. Never never never support slave based industry, eg cannabis, clothing made with child labour, UNNESSESARY TECH UPGRADES, like replacing perfectly good working phones for no reason

1. I'm sure I will think of more. Not much point in going into the environmental ones, like limit meat and diary, and never eat fish, don't drink bottled water etc, much debated elsewhere on Mumsnet

What are yours?

Never have a quickie in the back of the car, this is how I sprained my toe.

@Port1aCastis

Never have a quickie in the back of the car, this is how I sprained my toe.

@Port1aCastis

Never have a quickie in the back of the car, this is how I sprained my toe.

oh you KNOW we are going to!

The white-bread-sugar-poison was just window dressing for the Cannabis Farmers public service broadcast. A bit like those arty adverts with mysterious galloping horses that turn out to be for Guinness.

Sad that we'll never know what OP's 3. was going to be.

@HotToddyColdSauvignon

Mmmmm

White bread. With sugar on top

What you got to say about that OP?

white bread, slather on the butter, drizzle generously with condensed milk, coat liberally with white sugar

mmmmmmmmmmm

@MayContainNits

The white-bread-sugar-poison was just window dressing for the Cannabis Farmers public service broadcast. A bit like those arty adverts with mysterious galloping horses that turn out to be for Guinness.

Sad that we'll never know what OP's 3. was going to be.

I was thinking more of those public service announcements like the Green Cross Man and don't muck about on railway lines or escalators.

Neither sugar nor white bread are actually poison. Both are fine in limited amounts in an otherwise well balanced diet.

I don’t smoke cannabis. Do I get a ⭐️?

No bare bums on the sofa

Yes, I think this covers it.

also wasn't there a no penises at the dinner table? (Uncovered penises I mean, otherwise my Christmases going forward will be fairly shit).

@ddl1

Some people (like me) have medical conditions which make brown bread much less healthy than white bread. A high-fibre diet is good for most people, but not everyone.

In any case, a good rule might be to be less judgemental about what other people eat!

Me too. I need a low fibre diet or I get horrific stomach pains and am sick for two days when I eat nothing at all

I always liked: no jazz hands on the stairs.

Carry spare sanitary napkins/pads, so you won’t be caught short. As a lesbian, I often have non purse toting friends borrow.

If heterosexual, carry condoms and spermicidal lube. It’s better to have than to want. Men who won’t wrap can’t have it.

Buy lots of cheapish tights, and wear trouser socks with slacks and long skirts. Buy lots of nude and black socks for maximum wear.
Keep one extra clean school uniform for picture day or assembly. Buy far more knickers,socks, and tights than you’d think you will need.

Long term marijuana use can lead to psychosis, loss of intelligence, early dementia, and other brain damage. Adolescents are especially vulnerable. Just say no! Read TellYour Children for more details.

@SocialAffairsAndWoodlandFolk

You are most likely sitting not 10 miles away from slaves

I can neither confirm nor deny this, but there's a packet of white bread in the immediate vicinity. Do I need to be going to hospital or is it too late for me?

You're doomed - it's (literally!) poison! Didn't you know, you ignoramus?

There is literally no physiological difference between eating a slice of white bread, and just opening your mouth and pouring a cup of sugar in.
This is "literally" a load of arse.

A cup of sugar?

Poor wee kids ending up as slaves,its so sad.
What has happened to us ?

Thanks for the earworm @Ericaequites. Just say 'no' kids!

@sadperson16

Poor wee kids ending up as slaves,its so sad. What has happened to us ?

There are more people living in slavery today than at any other time in history

Never eat anything bigger than your own face. A rule often broken in our house.

Don't breed with a chauvinist.

@DynamoKev

There is literally no physiological difference between eating a slice of white bread, and just opening your mouth and pouring a cup of sugar in. This is "literally" a load of arse.

White bread causes obesity, causes 30-50 thousand deaths per year in the UK, its fine to make the decision to eat it, its up to you, but I am shocked how many people on here genuinely don't know it is the equivalent of pure sugar.

Does anyone remember that common science prac that all year 7s used to do at one stage a few years back, testing white bread for sugar, (negative) then starch ( positive) then chewing or putting saliva on the bread for a few minutes, and testing again - at which time it will then test positive for sugar.

There are so many people on here that don''t seem to know, it does make me wonder if children did not understand the point of this practical when they were doing it.

But it really is basic, year 7 science, that eating white bread is the equivalent of eating sugar.

Everyone makes their own decision what to eat, obviously, but I do find it very very strange that so many people who have presumably gone all the way through the education system have not picked up on this basic fact.

@ZenNudist

Never eat anything bigger than your own face. A rule often broken in our house.

There's a place locally that boasts toasted teacakes 'bigger then your face'. Sounds amazing to me.

@54321nought

You're over on another thread going on about how no student needs to run a car (clearly no thoughts for the disabled etc. but that's besides the point).
Haven't you had enough of being an unabashed know-it-all? Especially when you've actually been wrong on several points so far...

White bread does not cause obesity 😆. Eating too much of pretty much anything and not burning it off causes obesity!

The bare bums on sofas/seats thing seems the most pertinent here and should solve @SleepingStandingUp bare penis at the table problem too!