Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rewards for A level results

155 replies

6squirrels · 11/08/2021 18:31

My son got his a level results yesterday (got an a, b & c) and I gave him a heartfelt, meaningful gift that cost about £50. He said “so am I not getting three grand?”. I laughed as I thought he was joking but he says that everyone he knows gets this. I didn’t know what to say! I was stunned that this is a thing (£3k is an awful lot of money in my opinion), shocked that he could be so rude, and absolutely gutted that my gift had gone down like a lead balloon. I’d planned a household party for us all (plus their partners) on Friday night with takeaway pizza (this will cost around £150) and a family party on Saturday which I’ve cost caterers for (costing around £300).
Would you give your child £3k just for finishing their a levels?

OP posts:
DanielRicciardosSmile · 11/08/2021 21:56

I appear to have forgotten my own results, just like Gavin Williamson. That should be £100, not £92.

Sceptre86 · 11/08/2021 22:04

I got a watch for £250 and a meal out with the family. At that time only my dad worked and it was a big treat considering his wages. I was overwhelmed and did tell them that I didn't need a gift but he wanted to. 3k is ridiculous unless you come from a high earning household. I find incentivising grades ridiculous, the reward is having more doors open to you so you can do what you want.

I wouldn't be happy with his entitled attitude.

CorianderBee · 11/08/2021 22:07

No he's being silly. I did get about £500 but that was from both parents (divorced) and none of my friends got as much.

£3000 is mental. That's almost half my current savings!

I do know one person who got £5000 from his grandmother but that's because she's a weirdo who plays favourites. Anyway he lied to her about his grades and she didn't give any money to her other grandchildren 🙄

CorianderBee · 11/08/2021 22:10

@nodtik

I gave mine kids the following;

£60 for A*
£50 for A
£40 for B

So son got £220 for his 4 A levels last year!

I did 13 GCSEs. You'd have been well out of pocket Grin
CorianderBee · 11/08/2021 22:12

Oh wait it's A level. Goddamn you lack of a delete button

SunshineCake · 11/08/2021 22:16

So much sneering. My kids grades are their reward etc etc.

Mine didn't know they were getting a cash well done so were very appreciative and surprised. I see nothing wrong in it. They weren't bribed.

TheSmallAssassin · 11/08/2021 22:19

Ours have got/are getting a pound for each GCSE grade (e.g. £9 for a 9) and a pound per UCAS point at A level.

I don't think of it as incentive, really, neither have been thinking of the money when studying, it's a bonus. They deserve it.

Dontwatchfootball · 11/08/2021 22:34

Jesus - who the hell pays their kids for grades and what kind of expectations does that set up? This is horrendous. A well done and a nice meal seems like a good response.

Heronwatcher · 11/08/2021 22:38

I do not get this at all. Why would anyone do this, especially “incentivising” particular grades. Firstly over the years most people spend a small fortune on their kids. Secondly why wouldn’t they want to do well anyway to get onto their chosen uni course/ other study/ work? Also for kids who try their very best but don’t get As across the board (which is still admirable) what message does this send. I did well at exams because I wanted to, and I am not sure I got anything (even a meal out) (this was in the early 2000s) apart from the chance to go to the uni I wanted to.

abw94 · 11/08/2021 22:47

In all seriousness, does he go to a boarding school? If so, I get it.

If not, take the £50 back and tell him to stop being an ungrateful brat.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/08/2021 22:58

I can't remember if we gave dd anything specifically for her A levels - they, and the uni place thus obtained were the reward for her effort themselves, worth more than cash. We probably got a bottle of Prosecco and had a nice meal.

We got her loads of stuff for going to uni though.

Giving different amounts per grade could feel a bit cruel if they don't do as well as they hoped even if they'd put the effort in.

sleepwouldbenice · 11/08/2021 23:08

Hell no
I gave so much support through all the A level and lack of teaching and all that debacle, she'll get a family meal out and stuff for uni and our financial support for 3 years
That'll do🤣

TSSDNCOP · 11/08/2021 23:23

I got a tenner for each O level and nothing for A's.

I can't see anything wrong with a healthy incentive, whatever the kid values eg cash, watch etc but 3k is crazy.

Still, if you've got it...

Marmitemarinaded · 12/08/2021 08:19

We go to work for money
We are incentivised by money in many cases
Good performance at work is often rewarded by money

I can’t really see the issue is incentivising with money.
But perhaps adapting ie an exceptional grade for one may be an A for another it might be a C

BillyWhozz · 12/08/2021 08:35

@Dontwatchfootball

Jesus - who the hell pays their kids for grades and what kind of expectations does that set up? This is horrendous. A well done and a nice meal seems like a good response.
I think it sets up a mental correlation between hard work and good results getting rewarded.

DS is only 14 so hasn't done any exams but he's always got a lego set or something similar if his school reports have been decent. Not sure about A Levels but I would think I'll certainly be incentivising his GCSE's in a couple of years.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 12/08/2021 08:47

@Dontwatchfootball

Jesus - who the hell pays their kids for grades and what kind of expectations does that set up? This is horrendous. A well done and a nice meal seems like a good response.
Lots of jobs have bonuses for meeting targets etc so no different.

Incentives for hard work/results aren’t horrendous in any shape or for,.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2021 08:48

He’s taking the piss. What an ungrateful person he is.

Abraxan · 12/08/2021 09:06

@sst1234

He’s done A levels (in the year of inflated grades), not discovered a new planet in gene solar system. I think he’s having you on.
Whilst I don't agree with cash for grades, this post is just nasty. No need.
Kerberos · 12/08/2021 09:15

I'm on the fence for this one.

DD gets her results today. Very little revision work needed as she's bright. DS on the other hand will need a Herculean effort to get the same grades.

It doesn't seem fair to reward DD more than DS (assuming he works hard!), his effort will be far greater than hers.

Lulu1919 · 12/08/2021 09:22

Mine got a Well Done card and we were very vocal about how proud we were etc
I think the four of us went out for a pizza
But no money exchanged hands !!!!!!

spagbog5 · 12/08/2021 09:32

Why £3000 though
What is his thinking as in my book if he was to be rewarded then surely he gets far less for a grade C than a grade A !
By that reckoning he thinks it £1000 per result!

Abraxan · 12/08/2021 09:34

@Kerberos

I'm on the fence for this one.

DD gets her results today. Very little revision work needed as she's bright. DS on the other hand will need a Herculean effort to get the same grades.

It doesn't seem fair to reward DD more than DS (assuming he works hard!), his effort will be far greater than hers.

That's why I prefer the idea of rewarding effort rather than grades.
Smallkeys · 12/08/2021 09:36

We obviously mean we gave dc £100 per A with a bonus if they were all A

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 12/08/2021 09:38

I don't get this reward thing. Surely their reward is that they will do better in life for getting good results? It's for them, not their parents - or should be anyway.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/08/2021 09:40

@Kerberos

I'm on the fence for this one.

DD gets her results today. Very little revision work needed as she's bright. DS on the other hand will need a Herculean effort to get the same grades.

It doesn't seem fair to reward DD more than DS (assuming he works hard!), his effort will be far greater than hers.

If you're going to do it for more than on kid, then pegging it to predicted grades might be the way to do it. That leaves a slight potential 'unfairness' that someone predicted all A stars can't exceed performance I suppose but those grades are their own reward anyway.