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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rewards for A level results

155 replies

6squirrels · 11/08/2021 18:31

My son got his a level results yesterday (got an a, b & c) and I gave him a heartfelt, meaningful gift that cost about £50. He said “so am I not getting three grand?”. I laughed as I thought he was joking but he says that everyone he knows gets this. I didn’t know what to say! I was stunned that this is a thing (£3k is an awful lot of money in my opinion), shocked that he could be so rude, and absolutely gutted that my gift had gone down like a lead balloon. I’d planned a household party for us all (plus their partners) on Friday night with takeaway pizza (this will cost around £150) and a family party on Saturday which I’ve cost caterers for (costing around £300).
Would you give your child £3k just for finishing their a levels?

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 11/08/2021 19:19

[quote SummerHouse]**@Gatehouse77* I hope not. I did the same! I thought two A and two A's?[/quote]
Just went back to my calculations. Could be three A* plus a B.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 11/08/2021 19:21

I’d not have spent £450 on food and would have given him the cash instead and just got a pizza in. Seems an awful waste just on food for two nights.

We do cash incentives for GCSE and A Levels, saw it as no different than working for a bonus when they go into employment. Nice meal of their choice on results day and cake.

Snowjive2 · 11/08/2021 19:29

My dad said he’d give me £5 per A at O level. Pre GCSEs, pre A*s. I got 13. Mwahaha. He made no such offer for A levels - good grades then are a reward in themselves.
DS has just done very well in A levels. No £ will be changing hands.

Begonias · 11/08/2021 19:32

I promised eldest £100 for A*-A. She got £100 last year as she did 1 GCSE early. Come tomorrow we will find out the results for the remaining 11. My kids have always been motivated by a cash incentive. Saying that she has already decided that she will be using the cash for driving lessons so it's a win-win for me 😂

AllTheSingleLadiess · 11/08/2021 19:35

Her Dad and I insured and bought a car for her this year so lol at 3k. She passed her driving test after exams so has the car already. We bought it as a reward for hard work rather than results. We celebrated at the end of exams.

I didn't even give her money to go to the pub last night Wink

user1493494961 · 11/08/2021 19:35

Throwing parties is a bit OTT.

MisdemeanorOnTheFloor · 11/08/2021 19:38

God no! I got nothing other than an ear bashing for getting AAB (instead of AAA predicted). I mean, nearly 20 years ago so times may have changed but when I (not entirely seriously) suggested a tenner per A, I was told my reward was going to the uni of my choice and then hopefully managing to get gainful employment. ie: you're doing it for your own good love, not mine!
Celebrated by getting so drunk with my mates I got carried out of a nightclub. Oh to be 17 again 🤦

ChocolateCakeYum · 11/08/2021 19:38

3k! What an entitled brat.

My mum gave me a ‘well done’ and money for a takeout when I finished mine (in 2005) and I got As and Bs. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking for anything more.

Comefromaway · 11/08/2021 19:39

Dd got her results in last years shit show (they were upgraded as her year were massively downgraded in one subject). I can’t remember if we got her anything, I think her grandparents gave her £50 but we paid her deposit for halls the following week. Under normal circumstances we’d have taken her out for a celebratory meal.

PlanDeRaccordement · 11/08/2021 19:41

No gifts here. Our DC understand their primary job is to get good grades and the reward is a good university....then a good career. They’ve been taught to be self motivated.

Jerseygirl12 · 11/08/2021 19:41

I did cash incentives for GCSE’s but nothing for A levels, degree or masters.

Gatehouse77 · 11/08/2021 19:41

That’s where I got to 😊

Ivy48 · 11/08/2021 19:48

Bloody hell! I think I got £10 for everything above a C at GCSE and £100 for my a-levels. Some people’s parents went OTT but a lot of my friends had 50-100 as a gift and maybe a meal out

Ragwort · 11/08/2021 19:49

Absolutely not - I think we had a family meal out (to be honest I had already spent £100s on tutors to get him through his Maths A level!) it's not about whether we could 'afford' to give him a reward but I just don't think it's necessary and wouldn't have worked anyway - he was very happy with the grades he got and got into his first choice Uni even though he didn't get the exact grades they'd requested.

TheTallOakTrees · 11/08/2021 19:52

@Saucery

Ha, no! He’s having you on. Now he’s finished his A levels maybe he can work on not being an entitled wind-up merchant.
This.

Earn his own money. Perhaps too many of his friends have mummy and daddy subs. Some expect this to go on until late in life. Teach him independent skills - earn his own.

EvilEdna1 · 11/08/2021 19:55

We took DS to dinner and bought him 2 pints. That's it. University is going to cost us enough!

CornishTiger · 11/08/2021 19:56

The reward is their results.

ShitPoetryClub · 11/08/2021 19:57

@3teens2cats

I bought a chocolate party cake for us all to share. The reward for doing well is getting to do whatever you wanted to do next eg uni.
Completely agree, we also bought a chocolate cake. Grin. Splashed out on graduation gifts and got them a piece of commissioned art each, but didn't spend more than £500 on any item and all have risen in value at least x3.
FangsForTheMemory · 11/08/2021 19:58

I got nothing from my parents when I got my A levels. Zero. Zilch. I don't know if it's more of a thing these days but this was considered normal then.

Sunbird24 · 11/08/2021 19:59

Jeez, I got “Friend’s daughter got an A and 2 Bs” from my mum…

MadMadMadamMim · 11/08/2021 20:01

I don't think we gave our kids anything! They are late 20s now and certainly didn't expect to be given cash for getting their A levels. Why would you?

I think the most we'd have done was maybe have a Chinese take away to celebrate.

I don't know anyone who has a spare £3,000 - particularly after this last 18 months - to hand over to a teenager. Nor do I know anyone daft enough to do so.

Bayleaf25 · 11/08/2021 20:02

@User135792468 our kids go to a state secondary in a nice area and we have DS £30, 4 pack of beer and some chocolates.

He seemed very happy but I must ask him if he is aware of other kids getting ££££. We just can’t afford it at the moment so it is what it is.

ShaunaTheSheep · 11/08/2021 20:02

Does a McDonalds breakfast count? Blush

lifeinlimbo2020 · 11/08/2021 20:03

My 16yo has GCSE results tomorrow and we've said he can have £3 per grade. So if he gets ten grade 7 he'll get £210.... we did say more initially but he ended up having a new iPhone 11 for his birthday in June so we reduced it. He's worked hard and deserves something. Also going for nice lunch out Saturday too along with his girlfriend and other DS. Hope he does ok ...... 🤣🤣🤣

Tablow · 11/08/2021 20:06

@OneinNine

ds1 got a toblerone! He was perfectly happy with that. He has obviously learnt to have low expectations of his parents.
Ooh I'd have loved a toblerone