Rewards for A level results

[6squirrels]

My son got his a level results yesterday (got an a, b & c) and I gave him a heartfelt, meaningful gift that cost about £50. He said “so am I not getting three grand?”. I laughed as I thought he was joking but he says that everyone he knows gets this. I didn’t know what to say! I was stunned that this is a thing (£3k is an awful lot of money in my opinion), shocked that he could be so rude, and absolutely gutted that my gift had gone down like a lead balloon. I’d planned a household party for us all (plus their partners) on Friday night with takeaway pizza (this will cost around £150) and a family party on Saturday which I’ve cost caterers for (costing around £300).
Would you give your child £3k just for finishing their a levels?

He got a Chinese last night, that's it!

Depends on my financial situation and effort he put in.

If former was able to and latter had been extremely impressive - then yes

Gosh I can’t remember. I don’t think we got her anything.

But fact he asked for it
Shudder
No
That would be a no

No way. The grades are the reward!

I remember when I did GCSE and A levels my parents did give money for each grade but it was no where near that amount same with my friends

I remember some of my friends getting £x for each A they got at gcses and that was 25 years ago. I remember getting some sort of treat or meal out from my parents and possibly a small sum of money - the fact I cant remember suggests it wasnt huge (even for the time) but I dont remember being disappointed as they hadnt promised anything

Gcses got a financial reward. A levels got them into their university of choice!

I did incentivise ds for gcse grades. Nowhere near £3k though

We have only ever rewarded the effort not the grade and with something relevant to their next step (e.g. laptop which they will need anyway) and that is before results. Imagine the disappointment of not getting the grades and missing out on money. 'oh darling I am so sorry you didn't get the grades for your first choice, oh and here is 1k less than you might have got if you had got higher grades'. Ours are not quite at that stage yet but I would hope by A levels the reward is in getting where you want to go rather than getting money.

I gave mine kids the following;

£60 for A*
£50 for A
£40 for B

So son got £220 for his 4 A levels last year!

Some parents incentivise grades, others don’t, that’s up to you/them so
You aren’t being unreasonable, presuming you didn’t promise him £3k last year.

However

I think spending £450 on food to celebrate is a bit of a waste, and probably won’t be appreciated at all by him. You’d probably have been better giving him £250 and ordering a Chinese/pizza for him and his gf

Nope. Mine graduates next year (not UK) and I'm planning to let him throw a graduation party. The results are the reward. Spectacularly ungrateful of your son. I hope as he matures, he feels suitably embarrassed.

Gave DD £200 FOR A* A A.

I think spending £450 on food to celebrate is a bit of a waste, and probably won’t be appreciated at all by him. You’d probably have been better giving him £250 and ordering a Chinese/pizza for him and his gf

I agree, why does he need two family parties. Wouldn’t he prefer to be with his mates?

No way could we afford that and no way would we.

The ‘reward’ is their own achievement and getting them on to the next stepping stone of the path of their own choosing.

We have done a card, a bottle of champagne or Prosecco (depending on their preference) and gone out for a meal of their choice but we’ve done a variation of that for various milestones.

My parents gave me a bottle of Cava and some money for a night out celebrating with my friends when I did mine. My dp gave his kids money for various grades for both GCSE and A level totalling a few hundred which I thought was excessive but nowhere near 3k.

Err we had a takeaway and a hug and his dad bought him so beers. If I had 3 grand then it’d be paying the deficit from Covid off.

I'm amazed at this! Is he in a dream?

@nodtik

I gave mine kids the following;

£60 for A*
£50 for A
£40 for B

So son got £220 for his 4 A levels last year!

Is it weird I’ve spent time trying to work out what combination of grades he could have had to get £220? 😜

As if. We went out for a meal to celebrate but no cash bonus. He's having you on.

I don't agree with cash incentives for grades, so no - Dd didn't get anything like that.

We tend to reward effort and not grades, so for GCSEs we took her for a weekend away in London and to have afternoon tea in a posh restaurant - something she wanted to do.
When her results came through she got a huge amount of praise and congratulations - verbal ones.

A levels we'd have done similar type of thing but covid got in the way last year. She got a massive amount of praise before and after, but tbh it'd had been a nightmare time anyway by that point. She got money towards her holiday with friends and a festival - holiday happened but festival was postponed. Infact she has just arrived at it today, a year late! But she'd have got those anyway.

Somehow she has survived!
She get some type over the year.

Some friends if hers were given cash for grades but it was something I was never going to do.

For my GCSE my parents gave me £100 for an A*, £60 for an A, £50 for a B and £20 for a C

a D was a deduction of a £100 and anything less than a D was the entire lot scrubbed.

Didn't get anything for my A levels.

Wow!! I’m very old (in my 40s), but it was £10
Per Higher, (so I got £50); and then I got a necklace (again about £50) when I graduated with my first degree. By the time I got my PhD, I was in my 30s. My parents took my then partner and I out for dinner, and said partner bought me some earrings for about £100.
I was very happy with all of those things. £3k is just ridiculous.

@Gatehouse77 I hope not. I did the same! I thought two A* and two A's?