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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hair chopped off and I'm upset.

149 replies

Rollintodarkness · 10/08/2021 22:56

Disclaimer. I know I should have spoken up when sitting watching my hair being cut off but I was in shock and even by that time it would have been too late, it had been cut.

My regular hairdresser has relocated so I had to find somewhere new. I saw someone looking for models, all fully supervised so I thought I'd go for it. Long hair down my back. Asked for a bit below my shoulders with some shape. What I got was midway between my shoulders and chin, no shape. I hate it. My face is fatter than it should be and longer hair let me hide a bit. Now I can't. The supervisor came and kept chopping more away too. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I keep telling myself it will grow. I think it may be uneven too, but I can't look long enough to know for sure.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Original poster
Rollintodarkness · 11/08/2021 00:31

@user44 the worry is real. I know when I do it, it won't be as sleek as when it's properly blowdried, so it's going to look even shorter Shock

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 11/08/2021 00:34

How annoying! I always have the opposite problem! Three times in the past few years I've asked for a lot to be cut off only to find them bloody tickling the ends with their scissors.

One just refused...I have extremely thick but straight hair and I think they're all scared.

FortunesFave · 11/08/2021 00:34

@ErrolTheDragon

No idea what the relevance of that was supposed to be to this thread about incompetent hairdressers.Confused
I thought that! The meme seems to be mocking clients rather than hairdressers.
victoriaspongecake · 11/08/2021 01:02

Post a photo? I bet it looks far better than you imagine. How old are you? In my opinion long hair looks awful on anyone over the age of 30 anyway so maybe they have done you a favour?

StillMedusa · 11/08/2021 01:29

victoriaspongecake WTF?!
I presume you are going to wear a twinset and pearls and an old lady perm post 30?!

53 here with LONG hair and actually... it looks fab :P

DoWhatYouWantToAndShh · 11/08/2021 01:33

Yes photo

JaneJeffer · 11/08/2021 01:45

I'm beginning to think that the majority of hairdressers are sadistic.

milkyaqua · 11/08/2021 01:50

It is a strange but immutable fact that when a client requests a half inch trim from a hairdresser, nine times out of ten (I'm being generous here) they'll lose two inches, if they ask for a couple of inches off, they'll lose a minimum of four inches, and if a client asks for shoulder-length, below the shoulders, or even shoulder-blade length, they will end up with something more akin to the length of a Dutch bob. This has been my experience, and why I now prefer to trim my own hair; I never ignore my own requests, and nor do I cut my hair in such a manner it requires a tonne of product and a hardcore blow dry to look less desolate. I am very sincerely sorry for your loss, OP.

mumsymum25 · 11/08/2021 02:04

My regular hairdresser did something similar to me the last time I had a haircut and it pissed me off big time. For context, I have a long pixie cut and I had asked her to cut my hair exactly the same as she had done the the time before. We are on friendly term so it's not like she doesn't remember me, and even if she had forgotten the style she had cut, she could have just asked whether I had a picture to remind her. More so, she had already taken pics and posted them on her Instagram because she was impressed with the cut herself.

I just loved what she did previously, but this time she just absolutely slaughtered my hair and left it skewiff. She had shaved my nape and slight undercut with a no. 8 previously and this time shaved a much bigger undercut and to a no. 3. She also went wild on the rest of my hair and drastically thinned it beyond what she had done the time before. I wasn't best pleased to say the least and I didn't have a clue about any of this until she had finished because most of the damage was at the back so it's not like I could have said anything while she was cutting my hair. Everything seemed normal to me while I was sat in the chair.

I may have pissed her off so she took it out on the hair, but I can't imagine that being the case because I am not a bitchy woman and I only ever see her when she's cutting my hair. I always thought she was quite pleasant tbh but that really made me question my opinion of her. She didn't even apologise so I did wonder whether a mutual friend / acquaintance that we have had been shit stirring and consequently my hair took the hit. I mean if that was the case, it's actually assault.

Anyway, I felt the same, should I have the manager salvage what was left of my hair and have a shorter cut for the time being, but I just wanted to get out of there. It's been a couple of months and my hair is almost back to what it was before. I don't know whether I will go back to her again because on one hand someone shouldn't be judged by one mistake when they have done more great things, but I need to know her motive first and whether perhaps she may have been going through a tough time which distorted her judgement with the haircut.

mumsymum25 · 11/08/2021 02:36

@milkyaqua why is your comment so relatable? PMSL Grin

Mandalay246 · 11/08/2021 03:54

My old regular hairdresser once gave me the best haircut I have ever had. Notice I said "once", she never cut it the same way again. My new regular hairdresser is lovely, but the last time he cut my hair I took in a photo. My hair was short but the top layer was longer - what did he do, cut the top layer much shorter than in the photo! It's okay and I don't hate it, but it isn't what I asked for.

thevelvetcurtain · 11/08/2021 03:59

If you have a contact for your previous hairdresser, can you ask her for a recommendation of someone who might at least be able to tidy it up as it grows?

avamiah · 11/08/2021 04:33

I have been in that situation many years ago and it’s horrendous as you know your hair is getting chopped off but you remain silent whilst having a panic attack inside and you keep thinking it will turn out fine.

The only thing I can say is leave it alone and it will grow back pretty quickly in a couple of weeks .

At least you can say you have been there and it will NEVER happen again.
Xx

Sweetener12 · 11/08/2021 04:54

That def sucks but hair grows and even though you probably don't want to heart about that just now, treat it like a chance to try out some new styling or maybe hair accessories.
I feel your pain, there are hairdressers who just know what's better for you and they do it no matter what. I remember my hair dyed the exact opposite of what I wanted just because the hairdresser 'saw' it that way. No ma'am, I spent hours in Photodiva trying out different shades on my hair and you tell me you 'saw' it differently? Lesson learned.

pussycatlickinglollyices · 11/08/2021 06:34

OP, I also try to hide behind my hair and had it cut from similar lengths, long to too short, by my hairdresser last March. It's not been near scissors since. It is also still shorter on the right than the left. Hmm

My problem is I can't complain, as she's my NDN. Shock

The time before I went to a salon and she scalped me - What bit of "I want to be able to tie it up" does a hairdresser fail to understand?? Luckily that time it was winter, so it was scraped back and up and hidden with woolly hats and hoodies until it had grown.

I've decided to let DH trim it next time - he really can't do that bad a job!

SoupDragon · 11/08/2021 06:49

Why would shoulder length mean the bottom of you neck?

Because your neck ends at your shoulders.

SoupDragon · 11/08/2021 06:49

@milkyaqua

It is a strange but immutable fact that when a client requests a half inch trim from a hairdresser, nine times out of ten (I'm being generous here) they'll lose two inches, if they ask for a couple of inches off, they'll lose a minimum of four inches, and if a client asks for shoulder-length, below the shoulders, or even shoulder-blade length, they will end up with something more akin to the length of a Dutch bob. This has been my experience, and why I now prefer to trim my own hair; I never ignore my own requests, and nor do I cut my hair in such a manner it requires a tonne of product and a hardcore blow dry to look less desolate. I am very sincerely sorry for your loss, OP.
My hairdresser does exactly what I ask for.

Pricey though!

20viona · 11/08/2021 06:59

Hair grows. Don't worry.

Sunnysideup999 · 11/08/2021 07:03

Could you ask them to weave in some extensions somehow until it grows a bit?

DappledThings · 11/08/2021 07:08

Why would shoulder length mean the bottom of you neck? That doesn’t even make sense That is neck length

That's exactly what I think shoulders length means. My hair is currently just on the top of my shoulders/bottom of my neck and I would say is shoulder length.

And way too long as it goes but I hate getting it cut. When I do it will deliberately be shorter than I really want it just to make it longer between visits.

PolytheneRam · 11/08/2021 07:15

@victoriaspongecake

Post a photo? I bet it looks far better than you imagine. How old are you? In my opinion long hair looks awful on anyone over the age of 30 anyway so maybe they have done you a favour?
Wtf.

That's a new one.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 11/08/2021 07:16

This is exactly why I haven't been to a hairdresser since 1989.

I trim it myself. I am the only person I trust with my hair.

joystir59 · 11/08/2021 07:22

This is why I cut my own hair

BorderlineHappy · 11/08/2021 07:27

Same thing happened to me the other day.
Free hair training model and normally im quite easy going,its only hair.
But i look like the fella from Back to the future. Martys dad.
She didnt do anything i asked.

Im not going back,so im going Saturday to get more cut off so its not a shapeless mess.

FuckYouCorona · 11/08/2021 07:30

Aww bless you OP. That is the risk you take when being a model though. This could have been that persons first-ever cut. Doesn't sound like the supervisor was much better either.

This is one of the reasons why I don't go to hairdressers anymore. The final straw was that on my last visit I went to one of those haircuts for £12 places, thinking if they fuck it up at least I didn't pay much & I ended up getting nits. Angry

They simply don't train them properly anymore. I speak as someone who grew up in & trained in the industry too. Flowers