AIBU to ask people to lateral flow test?

Teachertired92 · 2021-08-09T19:25:26+00:00

I’m due to have my first baby in 3 weeks and I have said if covid rates are still high in my area, I want people to complete a lateral flow before coming over and holding my baby for the first few weeks to give her immune system a chance to improve. Some people are saying this is ridiculous and they won’t be coming over, including close family members. They claim I’m stopping them seeing their new family member. AIBU?

Candydreamer · 09/08/2021 20:26

I'm normally one to eye roll a bit at things like this but in this scenario I completely understand and think what you're asking is fair enough around a newborn.

hellsbells99 · 09/08/2021 20:29

I do a lateral flow test before I visit my elderly mother. My DDs do one before they go out socialising for the weekend and then another one on Monday or Tuesday. My DH is testing twice a week too.

AntiSocialDistancer · 09/08/2021 20:31

Yanbu I thought you meant people generally and I was ready for an eye roll but I think this is perfectly normal new mum anxiety during a pandemic.

winterwalksandcoffee · 09/08/2021 20:31

I think this is a great idea. Your babies health always comes first wether if offends people or not

InTheNightWeWillWish · 09/08/2021 20:33

Lateral flow tests aren’t 100% accurate. They can capture some asymptomatic cases that would otherwise go undetected but they aren’t going to capture every asymptomatic case. So even if people do agree, you still might find that someone passes covid to you or baby unknowingly.

If they would rather not come over at all, than undertake a simple lateral flow test then that’s their loss. Talk about cutting their nose off to spite their face. I have to do a lateral flow test if I want to visit the care home, I don’t see how it’s much different. They also don’t have a right to see the baby, covid or not.

Chloemol · 09/08/2021 20:33

I wouldn’t have a problem doing this. If your friends and family are not prepared to then fine they don’t see the baby. Their loss

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 09/08/2021 20:33

YANBU at all!

TBH you might be glad of the 'no' people when the time comes and you're sick of visitors

TakeMe2Insanity · 09/08/2021 20:34

YANBU!

If anything you are being very reasonable.

Imnothereforthedrama · 09/08/2021 20:39

You can ask doesn’t mean they will .

F107 · 09/08/2021 20:40

Since Thursday I’ve had COVID symptoms. I took lateral flow tests on Thurs, Fri, Sat and they all came back negative. Took a PCR test Sat and it was negative. It’s taken until Sunday (the fourth day of being ill) for both the lateral flow and PCR test to pick up I have COVID.

My husband has infected me after picking it up on a stag and now 5 others from that group have tested positive. They all had negative lateral flow tests for days despite having symptoms.

Lateral flow test are unlikely to protect you or your family and your best of isolating as much as you can.

Xiomara22 · 09/08/2021 20:40

My baby is now 7 months old so didn’t have any visitors at all at first due to the lockdown, once people could visit or when I went to visit with baby I told them they had to to the tests too. Some moaned but I said if you don’t like it then you can’t see baby, simple!

Potatoy · 09/08/2021 20:40

Perfectly reasonable. I do one before I go and visit my nan. Its good to protect the most vulnerable.

alltheemptyfields · 09/08/2021 20:43

YABU

at best, it's a false sense of security
so pointless.

Candydreamer · 09/08/2021 20:45

I think, in response to those who say they are not accurate etc., that if it makes you feel better and you feel more comfortable if people do the tests then that is up to you.

Ohhhthepain · 09/08/2021 20:50

I’m cev and my teens regularly test via lateral flow, I’m vaccinated so try to give them their life’s as they should be, they in return try to be careful and test regularly especially if they’ve been out and about.

It’s really no big effort to do and if do it for anyone that asked let alone someone with a tiny new baby.

alltheemptyfields · 09/08/2021 20:52

@Candydreamer

I think, in response to those who say they are not accurate etc., that if it makes you feel better and you feel more comfortable if people do the tests then that is up to you.

I'd rather someone be mindful they have been in a softplay, or a pub with cases of declared covid etc..

than shrugging it off with a "lateral flow was negative".

These things are more dangerous than anything else.

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 09/08/2021 21:00

@F107

Since Thursday I’ve had COVID symptoms. I took lateral flow tests on Thurs, Fri, Sat and they all came back negative. Took a PCR test Sat and it was negative. It’s taken until Sunday (the fourth day of being ill) for both the lateral flow and PCR test to pick up I have COVID.

My husband has infected me after picking it up on a stag and now 5 others from that group have tested positive. They all had negative lateral flow tests for days despite having symptoms.

Lateral flow test are unlikely to protect you or your family and your best of isolating as much as you can.

LFT aren't designed to test for symptomatic cases.

Perpop · 09/08/2021 21:00

I’m due in 5/6 weeks and will be doing the same. It’s 2 minutes of someone’s time to take a test, it doesn’t cost them anything and will give you peace of mind and some extra protection with a newborn. If anyone declines taking a quick, easy test that could protect a newborn and new mum then I’d rather they didn’t visit. Best of luck with the birth ❤️

Candydreamer · 09/08/2021 21:01

@alltheemptyfields I think if asking people to do lateral flow tests before seeing her newborn makes OP feel better then that is up to her.

Mulhollandmagoo · 09/08/2021 21:03

Not unreasonable at all, we took one the other day before going to meet a newborn! The parents didn't ask us to but it out my mind at ease, I'd take a LFT or wear a mask, whatever made the new parents feel more comfortable with no questions asked to be honest

Original poster

Teachertired92 · 09/08/2021 21:03

I know they aren’t always accurate, but I’ve suffered generalised anxiety for years now and this is the newest thing I am anxious about, have found my mental health has got so much worse being pregnant. Before I got pregnant, I wasn’t nervous about covid at all but now I’m just so worried about her catching it before having chance to develop her immune system but also want her to have family around her. I test regularly, so does my partner, and don’t see the problem with testing. I have people saying it makes them gag so they’re not doing it. The way I see it, the 30 seconds of being uncomfortable isn’t worth risking my daughter getting covid. Getting to the stage where I would rather just cut contact with anyone then deal with the pressure of people telling me I’m selfish, wrong and excluding people because I’m unreasonable. It’s just all making me feel so anxious and uncomfortable

OP posts:

TheNeverEndingOver · 09/08/2021 21:06

I’m due to give birth this week and this is the advice our midwives have given - to ask visitors to flow test. It might be too late as you’ve already suggested it, but you could say the midwives recommend it

SuperCaliFragalistic · 09/08/2021 21:07

I'd probably limit visitors to immediate family (grandparents and aunts and uncles) for a good few weeks if it were me. There's loads of stuff going round at the moment, sickness bugs, colds. Both my DC have brought home seperate, really nasty, sickness bugs over the last month which is more than they have for the last 5 years. I don't know if its to do with lowered immunity following winter lockdowns and lack of exposure or what, but I wouldn't want a baby exposed to the current crop of germs any more than covid.

Perpop · 09/08/2021 21:07

Teachertired92

I know they aren’t always accurate, but I’ve suffered generalised anxiety for years now and this is the newest thing I am anxious about, have found my mental health has got so much worse being pregnant. Before I got pregnant, I wasn’t nervous about covid at all but now I’m just so worried about her catching it before having chance to develop her immune system but also want her to have family around her. I test regularly, so does my partner, and don’t see the problem with testing. I have people saying it makes them gag so they’re not doing it. The way I see it, the 30 seconds of being uncomfortable isn’t worth risking my daughter getting covid. Getting to the stage where I would rather just cut contact with anyone then deal with the pressure of people telling me I’m selfish, wrong and excluding people because I’m unreasonable. It’s just all making me feel so anxious and uncomfortable

I completely agree with you! You’ve made your decision, be at peace with it and if anyone has a problem then that’s their issue not yours!

WillYouDoTheFandango · 09/08/2021 21:10

I visited a friend and her newborn yesterday. She didn’t ask me to but I did a lateral flow test anyway. It was 2 mins of my life and could have picked up if I was an asymptomatic case so why not.