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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask people to lateral flow test?

113 replies

Teachertired92 · 09/08/2021 20:25

I’m due to have my first baby in 3 weeks and I have said if covid rates are still high in my area, I want people to complete a lateral flow before coming over and holding my baby for the first few weeks to give her immune system a chance to improve.
Some people are saying this is ridiculous and they won’t be coming over, including close family members. They claim I’m stopping them seeing their new family member.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Teachertired92 · 09/08/2021 21:11

@SuperCaliFragalistic
I am limiting it to grandparents/great grandparents and aunties and uncles, unfortunately the people saying I’m being unreasonable are within these groups of people

OP posts:
Original poster
Teachertired92 · 09/08/2021 21:13

@TheNeverEndingOver a midwife has suggested that to me, and I did say that to them, but they have said I’m being unreasonable still and shouldn’t have to listen to the midwives

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 09/08/2021 21:14

YANBU at all. I think it is a perfectly reasonable thing to ask.

noblegreenk · 09/08/2021 21:15

My Dad is very vulnerable due to cancer treatment and I do a lateral flow test before I visit him. Not at his request but just because I want to try and keep him as safe as I possibly can. Therefore I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You need to do everything you reasonably can to protect your newborn until their immune system gets a chance to build up a bit of strength.

LittleRedPill · 09/08/2021 21:19

YANBU. I normally roll by eyes at precious first time parents but actually I think you’re being perfectly sensible. I certainly wouldn’t mind taking a LFT if it meant the mother of a newborn would feel more comfortable.

Seems your family have made their choice 🤷‍♀️

InTheNightWeWillWish · 09/08/2021 21:22

My point about accuracy wasn’t that they aren’t worth doing by the way. I do lateral flow tests regularly. We both do them before we go into the office (we are mostly still WFH) before we go out at weekend, before we visit the care home, before hospital appointments. It was more making the point that it just might not catch every case but is probably better than nothing. Just a don’t go letting your guard down completely - so if someone has been on a mega stag do with 80 other people two nights before, I’d probably not let them visit regardless of the LFT!

enoughforme · 09/08/2021 21:23

YABU as lateral flow tests are a total waste of time and so inaccurate it's a joke! I understand you wanting to test but they are so inaccurate it doesn't seem worth the hassle

PinkBuffalo · 09/08/2021 21:25

Yanbu I would do a lf test for you to see you.

Standback · 09/08/2021 21:27

YANBU. I had a baby in may and we asked people to take a test before visiting/wash hands etc. We only kept it to close family still but everyone was happy to do that (as far as I know anyway!) I think if you have people that are refusing, it's their loss and I wouldn't be in a hurry to let them meet the baby if they couldn't be bothered to do a simple thing to put my mind at ease and help protect my newborn. Less hosting for you at least!

Abouttimemum · 09/08/2021 21:28

You’re not being unreasonable. People should be doing lateral flows before they are mixing with people anyway, before they go to work, before they see anyone particularly vulnerable.

It’s what they are there for. Takes two mins. I don’t understand what their problem is. Stick to your guns.

Skybluepinkgiraffe · 09/08/2021 21:29

I would be happy to do it. Your family are being daft saying you're preventing them from seeing you and the baby.

Abouttimemum · 09/08/2021 21:29

@enoughforme that is factually incorrect.

megletthesecond · 09/08/2021 21:29

Yanbu. The last thing you need is for either of you to get poorly.

TBH I'd use this as a bonus way to keep visitors away. Far nicer to have a quiet week or two post baby.

callmeadoctor · 09/08/2021 21:30

I would say no visitors at all if it were me. No need IMO.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/08/2021 21:30

Perfectly sensible request. A LF is really no big deal at all, so don’t give in to pressure. If they decide not to come, their loss.

Congratulations.

F107 · 09/08/2021 21:30

If you still want people round wouldn’t it be more sensible/safe to ask them to wear a mask and sanitise their hands on arrival and before touching the LO? Surely your request should focus on what precautions provide the most protection?

BTW I’m double jabbed. As I mentioned both the lateral flow and initial PCR test both showed negative results so I’d have been allowed in your house despite being infectious.

My main symptoms are muscle ache and a dodgey stomach, which can be rationalised with me feeling stressed and carrying a toddler around

Pollypudding · 09/08/2021 21:30

YANBU - it is fine to ask. I would not mind at all doing this to see a family baby.
Hope all goes well for you in 3 weeks time

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/08/2021 21:31

Today 21:23 enoughforme

YABU as lateral flow tests are a total waste of time and so inaccurate it's a joke! I understand you wanting to test but they are so inaccurate it doesn't seem worth the hassle“

Nonsense.

Tiddleztheelephant · 09/08/2021 21:31

I think this is fine. Personally I'll do a test anyway before going to see somebody vulnerable..... why wouldn't you?

It's sad that close family members aren't willing to give you that little bit of reassurance but it's their choice.

Scottishskifun · 09/08/2021 21:33

YANBU for requesting it if they say no they can stay away!
The only exception you might want to consider is family members who have had covid recently (6weeks to 3-4 months) as some people can test positive for quite a while after! I was one of these people I wasn't infectious at all just residual dead virus cells which were detectable.

godmum56 · 09/08/2021 21:34

I think you are being really sensible. I hope all goes well and congratulations

Original poster
Teachertired92 · 09/08/2021 21:36

@F107 I have requested these things also, I’m just so anxious that baby will get it before her immune system can deal with it and it was advised to have the LFT too by the midwife

OP posts:
F107 · 09/08/2021 21:37

I just want to add - if your family know you are struggling with your MH then it’s absolutely fine to prioritise your needs if they don’t want to work with you . However from a health point of view I think the lateral flow tests are incredibly risky and you need to be putting more precautions in place.

SeasonFinale · 09/08/2021 21:37

[quote Teachertired92]@SuperCaliFragalistic
I am limiting it to grandparents/great grandparents and aunties and uncles, unfortunately the people saying I’m being unreasonable are within these groups of people[/quote]
Remind them that by choosing not to do an LFT to keep a newborn baby safe they are the ones choosing not to meet a new family member.

LittleMowf · 09/08/2021 21:38

@LittleRedPill

YANBU. I normally roll by eyes at precious first time parents but actually I think you’re being perfectly sensible. I certainly wouldn’t mind taking a LFT if it meant the mother of a newborn would feel more comfortable.

Seems your family have made their choice 🤷‍♀️

Totally agree with this. I’m going to the dentist on Friday and I’ll do one before I go, just because it’s a sensible thing to do. Of course they’re not 100% but they’re better than nothing.