Page 8 | to think "its impacting on my mental health" is over used

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 09/08/2021 23:42

I think the phrase and other similar sayings are being overused, because what the user really means is 'this is testing my resilience and having an effect on my mood/mental wellbeing', which is a world away from people who have life-long or long-term mental health conditions which can see them rendered completely dysfunctional for days, weeks, months, or even years at a time.

In essence, it's a statement about mental wellbeing and resilience, not 'mental health, as it pertains to mental illness', which is why I find it a bit when I hear so frequently.

DeeCeeCherry · 09/08/2021 23:58

50ShadesOfCatholic
Why do people who are neither educated nor have any personal experience of mental distress feel compelled to comment on whether those who do are overstating their case? Seems like the height of ignorance to me. Rather like the armchair epidemiologists

Exactly. A bit like those I've been to University of Life/School of Hard Knocks/I know more than doctors and scientist bods, who think they're educated in everything.

As for those who don't like the wording 'Its affecting my mental health' - If another phrase was used you'd be having a go complaining about that too, because really this is all about being harsh and bitchy towards women suffering mental health issues.

I can't recall the foolish person who suggested that in third world countries 'people just get on with things'. As if we smile stoically and just plough on through everything, no help or understanding available.

Tomorrow they'll likely be yammering on about womens rights somewhere or other whilst metaphorically throwing women under the bus for not being 'tough enough'.

MN standards have really dropped, allowing no-marks with zero expertise to chat shit that could be read by people experiencing mental trauma.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 10/08/2021 00:51

@Hazelnutwhirl

I agree, as someone who has had depression it is truly awful and debilitating and do think the mental health wording is overused and I am not sure all the attention it’s getting is helping as it’s almost trivialising mental health. I think it’s a bit of trend that people have picked up from the media so hopefully eventually people will rediscover and learn to except the many emotions there are but they aren’t all mental health issues.

What, so you are allowed to have had depression but other people are not allowed to talk about their mental health? Seriously?

50ShadesOfCatholic · 10/08/2021 00:53

Why are you assuming they don't? Several people with diagnosed MH issues agree with the OP.

I don't believe it, no-one could be that self-absorbed or ignorant. It's like a man posing as a woman to post a misogynistic point of view, happens all the time.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 10/08/2021 01:14

As for those who don't like the wording 'Its affecting my mental health' - If another phrase was used you'd be having a go complaining about that too, because really this is all about being harsh and bitchy towards women suffering mental health issues

Absolutely not.

This boils down to what you personally understand by the term 'mental health'.

Everyone has mental health, they also have mental state, they also have mood, they also have resilience.

Personally, because of my own experience I consider 'mental health' to be a concept that concerns my own long-term stability and resilience of mind, which varies depending on the impact of my mental illness.

The people I encounter using the term 'this is impacting my mental health' are quite frequently using it to describe the impact of a short-term issue on their mood and how it is testing their resilience. More often than not, they have no underlying mental illnesses, life-long diagnoses, history of episodes etc.

If they said something along the lines of how I would voice the same thing, i.e. 'This is testing my patience/getting me down/I'm finding it hard to tolerate', then that wouldn't irk me at all. It's the fact that the specific phrase 'mental health' is used in lieu of 'mood' or 'mental state' that raises my hackles, because 'mental health' is vastly more complex for me than something that can be altered by a single, fleeting event, or a short-term disruption to routine. Those impact on mood and mental state, they don't destroy 'mental health' the way that living with a life-long illness does.

It's really difficult to resist indulging in mental health Top Trumps, but when you have to listen to people complaining that not being able to get their highlights renewed, trade in the old car for a new model, or go for a Costa with their bestie is ruining their 'mental health', when your experience of poor mental health means ruminating constantly about how exactly you are going to kill yourself, not getting out of bed for a fortnight, being unable to even open your eyes and say 'hello' to your spouse, and being carted off for yet another 28 day stay in the local facility, then yeah, you get a bit tired of folk moaning that Boots being out of their preferred eyeliner is 'affecting their mental health'.

It's an inconvenience. An annoyance. An irritant. Life is full of them.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/08/2021 01:22

YANBU.

I think it can be used as a tool to manipulate and guilt too. My niece had a relationship with a lad who had MH issues but I was very when he said he needed to know where she was at all times otherwise his anxiety would be triggered and he'd have a panic attack. When does it get to a point where someone else's feelings and autonomy trump a person's MH?

ChunkySloth · 10/08/2021 01:50

@54321nought

I just seem to hear this constantly.

I know you can't judge what another person is going through. Every single individual time I hear it, I give the person the benefit of the doubt.

But overall, I just don't think that many people are having their mental health impacted!

I think it sometimes just means " I don't like this situation" /" this makes me anxious/nervous" / " this is annoying"

We have such easy lives, for the most part. Why is everyone suddenly saying that not getting their own way in something or other is giving them mental health problems?

I have cared for a lot of children and adults with mental health problems, I know how painful and debilitating they can be. Its not what I see in people who are telling me "XYZ is impacting on my mental health".

I know some mental health problems might be invisible, not surely not on this scale, when we all have food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation etc, and in places I have lived without these things, people don't seem to be claiming so many mental health problems....

YaDnbu. I think may people confuse nerves for anxiety too.

As soon as I see reference to MH/anxiety etc in an op I click back out of the thread.

🤷‍♀️

SheilaWilcox · 10/08/2021 01:56

Please get out out of the mental health field. Some of the views you've expressed here must make your users feel like shit.

XenoBitch · 10/08/2021 02:36

@50ShadesOfCatholic

Why are you assuming they don't? Several people with diagnosed MH issues agree with the OP.

I don't believe it, no-one could be that self-absorbed or ignorant. It's like a man posing as a woman to post a misogynistic point of view, happens all the time.

I just don't think (for example) someone saying they are anxious because they have a job interview coming up is a mental health issue. A lot of the things people are saying are mental health issues are actually just normal human reactions to things. And those human reactions such as grief, anger, anxiety, sadness are normal and not be avoided at all cost.

Tattybyes · 10/08/2021 09:15

@54321nought

Why does it annoy you?

Because I volunteer for various mental health charities, and it seems to be the buzz words that get people access to charity/NHS resources, and I think a lot of the time the resources are now completely missing their target, because the number of people saying "mental health" as gone up 10x, but the number of people with severe mental health problems has not changed at all, just that they are now sharing resources with 10 x as many people.

But as I said, in any individual case, I will simply take them at their word, both in normal life, and in the capacity of a charity volunteer

Maybe the number of people with 'severe' mental illnesses hasn't went up because they are having a chance to talk about their feelings before it gets to that point? Just a thought...

ATieLikeRichardGere · 10/08/2021 09:46

I feel a bit annoyed about the idea that if I were just able to openly talk about my feelings then my mental illnesses could somehow have been averted. Sadly, it just doesn’t work like that. I know it’s not fashionable to say it, but my mental illness is actually pretty brain-based. I’ve even had a genetic test that confirms I’m very high risk for it. I think of it as an actual illness and a lifelong disability. So I get a bit frustrated because reducing stigma and talking about feelings is great and I’m all for it, but what I actually need is available health services and research into effective treatments, and acknowledgement that this is unfortunately something I have to deal with which actually isn’t normal. I hope that makes sense.

Original poster

54321nought · 10/08/2021 09:55

@ATieLikeRichardGere

I feel a bit annoyed about the idea that if I were just able to openly talk about my feelings then my mental illnesses could somehow have been averted. Sadly, it just doesn’t work like that. I know it’s not fashionable to say it, but my mental illness is actually pretty brain-based. I’ve even had a genetic test that confirms I’m very high risk for it. I think of it as an actual illness and a lifelong disability. So I get a bit frustrated because reducing stigma and talking about feelings is great and I’m all for it, but what I actually need is available health services and research into effective treatments, and acknowledgement that this is unfortunately something I have to deal with which actually isn’t normal. I hope that makes sense.

I agree whole heartedly with this.

Life can cause mental health problems, trauma, etc, but very few people actually fall into this category ( in the UK).

Most mental health problems are not in any way related to life experiences and whether we talk about our feelings or not.

They are inate, and can't be "talked away" just like cancer or broken bones can't.

OP posts:

ObviousNameChage · 10/08/2021 10:04

@ATieLikeRichardGere

I feel a bit annoyed about the idea that if I were just able to openly talk about my feelings then my mental illnesses could somehow have been averted. Sadly, it just doesn’t work like that. I know it’s not fashionable to say it, but my mental illness is actually pretty brain-based. I’ve even had a genetic test that confirms I’m very high risk for it. I think of it as an actual illness and a lifelong disability. So I get a bit frustrated because reducing stigma and talking about feelings is great and I’m all for it, but what I actually need is available health services and research into effective treatments, and acknowledgement that this is unfortunately something I have to deal with which actually isn’t normal. I hope that makes sense.

The real issue is that mental health services are massively overstreched and underfunded. Very people get what they need from it, and I am talking about actual need not want and when they do it's a postcode lottery. It's mostly just patching up , expecting people to muddle through while creating a divisive narrative of it's "someone" else's fault . YOU are important to us, but these pesky OTHERS keep getting in the way.

I do hope that in time(since more research is needed) you will get the treatment and help you need .

ObviousNameChage · 10/08/2021 10:06

Most mental health problems are not in any way related to life experiences and whether we talk about our feelings or not.

Seriously, quit. You're not just ignorant and deluded, you're dangerous.

Original poster

54321nought · 10/08/2021 10:11

@ObviousNameChage

Most mental health problems are not in any way related to life experiences and whether we talk about our feelings or not.

Seriously, quit. You're not just ignorant and deluded, you're dangerous.

No, I am very experienced, very highly trained and very highly effective.

But there is a lot of ignorance about mental health around, and I think the ignorance is growing

OP posts:

ATieLikeRichardGere · 10/08/2021 10:33

@ObviousNameChage
I’m not really sure what you are saying but no health service has ever suggested to me that any particular “others” are getting in the way of me being treated, other than to say services are over capacity which is of course true and has been for all the 30+ years that I have been treated on and off. Of course everyone deserves treatment at every level of severity of illness and regardless of the cause of their issues and there should be more services.

I don’t necessarily agree with the OP that “Most mental health problems are not in any way related to life experiences”. In a sense most of them are, just like most physical illnesses from cancer to heart disease are related to both genetics and environment. However, I do think that the pendulum has probably swung to far in terms of trying to frame and treat all mental illness as to do with experiences, trauma and emotions, when that probably isn’t the most helpful angle from which to approach support and treatment for some of them. It’s an example I always give but did you know heart disease is linked to trauma? But if you have a heart disease patient in front of you, I think it’s clear that exploring that angle would be a bit silly.

There is a real distinction between the someone’s mental health undergoing some stresses, and having a mental illness. It’s a difficult distinction to make, granted, but I think sometimes it is being forgotten and as I’ve said, and as has been discussed in the 3 articles I’ve linked, that can have a downside. I think this is an issue worth discussion.

ATieLikeRichardGere · 10/08/2021 10:42

Here are those articles again:

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jul/14/mental-illness-sidelined-mental-health-treatment

amp.theguardian.com/society/2019/feb/28/meet-patients-left-out-mental-health-conversation

amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/29/conversation-mental-health-psychiatric-language-seriously-ill

ObviousNameChage · 10/08/2021 10:43

[quote ATieLikeRichardGere]@ObviousNameChage
I’m not really sure what you are saying but no health service has ever suggested to me that any particular “others” are getting in the way of me being treated, other than to say services are over capacity which is of course true and has been for all the 30+ years that I have been treated on and off. Of course everyone deserves treatment at every level of severity of illness and regardless of the cause of their issues and there should be more services.

I don’t necessarily agree with the OP that “Most mental health problems are not in any way related to life experiences”. In a sense most of them are, just like most physical illnesses from cancer to heart disease are related to both genetics and environment. However, I do think that the pendulum has probably swung to far in terms of trying to frame and treat all mental illness as to do with experiences, trauma and emotions, when that probably isn’t the most helpful angle from which to approach support and treatment for some of them. It’s an example I always give but did you know heart disease is linked to trauma? But if you have a heart disease patient in front of you, I think it’s clear that exploring that angle would be a bit silly.

There is a real distinction between the someone’s mental health undergoing some stresses, and having a mental illness. It’s a difficult distinction to make, granted, but I think sometimes it is being forgotten and as I’ve said, and as has been discussed in the 3 articles I’ve linked, that can have a downside. I think this is an issue worth discussion.[/quote]
I agree. Dealing in absolutes (and extremes) is ridiculous and dangerous. Just as bad saying experiences have nothing to do with mental health illnesses as saying all mental health illnesses are because of experiences and taking the same approach/course of treatment for any and all.

To clarify my narrative comment, I didn't mean from mental health services, it comes from the government,the media, posts like OP's etc.

ObviousNameChage · 10/08/2021 10:55

Pressed post too soon, what I think is that the new focus on mental health has created a gap that means that people that aren't an easy/temporary "fix" (be that meds,therapy , meditation,walks,exercise,mindfulness etc) are left to flounder or in a way forgotten about in favour of "good statistics " . Look how many patients we've seen ,treated,helped ,improved. The "easy fix" patients are also paraded around and poster children for how well things are going. When things are actually pretty shit and sometimes dangerous and fatal.

That's the other side of the narrative and you often see it here, when someone that is really struggling with their mental health illnesses and in crisis. People keep posting the same old,same old ring GP,do this,do that and are in disbelief that it's not that easy, that sometimes there is no help ,waiting times are ridiculous and there's nothing you can do bar trying to make it through the day.

ATieLikeRichardGere · 10/08/2021 10:58

I guess I think it’s good that the OP started this conversation. I actually voted YABU originally but when I reflected I realised that I actually did see the valid point which I’ve since commented on.

The overwhelming messaging I see is more like “it’s good to talk”, “it’s ok not to be ok” and “have you tried mindfulness” and my issue with this is that now people are thinking of not just mental health in those terms but also mental illness. For me that makes conversations with my employer, my university, my colleagues, my friends etc much harder, not easier.

FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw · 10/08/2021 10:59

We have such easy lives, for the most part.

Oh “we” do, do we?

Speak for yourself…

ATieLikeRichardGere · 10/08/2021 10:59

@ObviousNameChage to be fair I think we are much in agreement really.

TossaCoinToYerWitcher · 10/08/2021 11:00

Most mental health problems are not related to life experiences…

Sorry OP, as someone who’s suffered depression I’ve been with you over the possible misuse of the term by some people, however I can’t agree with you on this. You’re basically hand waving away everyone who’s ever suffered PTSD, and I’m fairly sure they don’t form a small minority!

FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw · 10/08/2021 11:03

With the exception of people experiencing homelessness, most people in the UK have access to food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation, clothing, a bed to sleep in, etc

There’s more to having a hard time of it in life than just poverty though. It bothers me that you apparently have vast experience in mental health but have a total inability to empathise with people.

JudgeJ · 10/08/2021 11:05

@TeapotCollection

I agree

People are using it every day at work to get out of doing stuff. It’s the new bad back

It's certainly replaced being a bit pissed off. Interesting that during the Olympics it was used to withdraw from an event yet the person was a week later OK to compete in another event.