Page 6 | to think "its impacting on my mental health" is over used

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 09/08/2021 18:08

@54321nought

Can I ask what is was that drew you to choosing to volunteer for a mental health charity?

SwimmyG · 09/08/2021 18:08

Basic physiological needs are at the very bottom of Maslow's hierarchy. Someone who works in mental health as the OP claims to do, should realise that difficulties at the higher levels of the hierarchy in terms of social, emotional and self fulfilment needs are equally as relevant in terms of impact on mental well-being.

I know. What I meant is that if people don’t have their basic physiological needs met and aren’t “claiming mental health issues” perhaps it’s because they’re trying to meet their physiological needs first before they can think about the psychological needs. Where people do have those needs met they’re able to acknowledge their psychological needs more, which is not a bad thing.

ObviousNameChage · 09/08/2021 18:11

@CousinLucy

I wonder whether some people equate mental health with a perpetual state of happiness and don't realise/know that you can be unhappy/annoyed/dissatisfied and they are normal human emotions and don't have to affect your mental health as such? It's normal to feel a spectrum of emotions.

I had a panic attack over ten years ago. I had three weeks off work. Afterwards I experienced major digestive disruption, significant weightloss. During the panic attack the thing I remember is that my sight went. I can't remember who was there for myself - I've been told who helped me. I kind of understand what you mean - when someone hyperventilates and panics for half an hour I tend to think like you have but always try to never judge because I recognise its subjectivity.

But those emotions will affect your mental health. It doesn't have to be serious, significant or translate to a mental illness.

Just like constipation, headaches,hay fever, smoking, being overweight etc can affect/have an impact on your physical health. You don't have to have an actual illness .

mogsrus · 09/08/2021 18:11

I'm with you on this one,it does seem to be the absolute buzzword at the moment,& yes,i find it irritating, just give it a rest

sofiegiraffe · 09/08/2021 18:12

@SwimmyG

Basic physiological needs are at the very bottom of Maslow's hierarchy. Someone who works in mental health as the OP claims to do, should realise that difficulties at the higher levels of the hierarchy in terms of social, emotional and self fulfilment needs are equally as relevant in terms of impact on mental well-being.

I know. What I meant is that if people don’t have their basic physiological needs met and aren’t “claiming mental health issues” perhaps it’s because they’re trying to meet their physiological needs first before they can think about the psychological needs. Where people do have those needs met they’re able to acknowledge their psychological needs more, which is not a bad thing.

Makes sense I guess.

I'm still astonished by OP's apparent lack of awareness, though, of factors other than basic physiological needs as being relevant to psychological well-being. Especially since OP claims to work in the field.

XenoBitch · 09/08/2021 18:18

YANBU.
Nowadays it seems to be sad, anxious, nervous, angry... any negative emotion is to be avoided at all costs, and situations that can cause them are sought to be avoided. To feel these things is human and normal, and is not indicative of a mental health issue.

FishfingerFlinger · 09/08/2021 18:20

@VeryLongBeeeep

Yes, I think saying it isn't the problem so much as how people then deal with it. Some people are definitely using it to say "I should never feel anything negative and now that I do, it's your problem to fix". I do see that in a work setting, especially among young people new to the world of work. I had to give a member of my team some constructive feedback last year about some issues with her work. I framed it supportively: showed her some specific examples, checked she understood what was required and had had the necessary training, and we agreed the - relatively small (in terms of effort to her) but important - changes she needed to make to get this piece of work back on track. Next 1:1 with her, I started by asking her generally how things were going, how she was feeling, and she told me that me having spoken to her about the errors had had a negative impact on her mental health. I'm honestly not sure how anyone can expect to get through an entire career without ever taking on board some constructive advice, no one gets it right 100% of the time and we have to be open to guidance and correction occasionally.

I think it’s generally helpful that someone feels confident enough to express how they are feeling at work. I had to give negative feedback at work recently and the person was honest that it had really upset them which helped us agree some further steps and check-ins and helped me plan how to deal with the issue over the longer term. It does mean the issue shouldn’t have been addressed but understanding their reaction helped me to support them.

SwimmyG · 09/08/2021 18:27

Society has somewhat made a rod for its own back by not teaching it’s young about, or how to develop, emotional resilience, emotional intelligence or emotional maturity. If you don’t teach children about these things you can expect their mental well-being to be fragile and easily impacted by all sorts of things. You can’t now turn around and say it’s all their fault and it’s all a gimmick, over-used, an excuse, whatever. We have made them like that.

NotMyCat · 09/08/2021 18:27

See with that work example I wouldn't say oh it's impacted my mental health
I would say to my boss "I'm worried about making more errors, and feeling a bit crap or concerned or..."

(Ive had generalised anxiety, panic attacks and depression previously and medication for them plus 9 months of counselling and 6
Months CBT)

I am a bit when people insisted they couldn't possibly stay home for 24hrs or their mental health would be ruined but that's because I shielded for months and months, and to me, my home is a safe comfortable place where I am happy to spend time
If someone says that about staying home I would be thinking is it their partner, is it their home, snd how can you improve it because if you suddenly HAD to stay home (broken leg/flu/etc) you need to have strategies to cope

CousinLucy · 09/08/2021 18:33

@ObviousNameChage good point! We do need to see mental health like physical health!

nosyupnorth · 09/08/2021 18:43

You can clean and stitch a small wound so it heals quickly and well. You can support somebody mildly struggling with minor mental health difficulties.

Or you can say "Well it's not that bad of a health problem, don't bother me until it's serious" and they come back with a septic wound that requires amputation or in a mental health crisis which has already severely disrupted their life and will likely continue to do so for some time as they undergo complicated and prolonged treatment.

Do you really think the latter approach is better?

Formaldeheidi · 09/08/2021 18:44

@SwimmyG

Society has somewhat made a rod for its own back by not teaching it’s young about, or how to develop, emotional resilience, emotional intelligence or emotional maturity. If you don’t teach children about these things you can expect their mental well-being to be fragile and easily impacted by all sorts of things. You can’t now turn around and say it’s all their fault and it’s all a gimmick, over-used, an excuse, whatever. We have made them like that.

You do know any older people that suffer with poor mental health? I do. Most of them elderly and the poor mental health stems from loneliness.

The only reason you didn’t hear about it before is because people were not allowed to talk about it for fear of very severe repercussions. 30 years ago (even 10!) we didn’t understand as much about what makes mental health as we do now. We know that the same stresses on people existed, the same set of circumstances that affect mental health now were the same then and the same mental illness existed. The only difference between then and now is knowledge and attitude.

KarmaStar · 09/08/2021 18:47

Yanbu,too many people are using it as an excuse which make it difficult for those who genuinely struggle.
On here,posters will use this as an excuse when voting isn't going the way they anticipated they trot out a line about how they did xyz because of mental health.Rather than admit they were wrong.It's not a line to use when you want sympathy when you have no real mental health issues.

ObviousNameChage · 09/08/2021 18:49

The irony of moaning about talking about it too much, being mentioned too much ,overused etc when so so many posters show a mindboggling lack of understanding and empathy and are highly judgemental and prejudiced.

emilylily · 09/08/2021 18:52

@Lockheart

As someone who has diagnosed (and medicated and therapised) OCD and depression for the last 17 years I agree with you.

Poor mental health is not a temporary feeling of stress or feeling down which lasts a few days. It is not a feeling of frustration that you can't fly to Italy.

We have been through a hugely difficult 18 months and many people absolutely will be suffering from mental health issues as a result.

But I have seen "it's impacting on my mental health" thrown around quite flippantly on here more than once or twice.

Yes I agree with you OP and Lockheart! I have actual mental illness (non-psychotic but debilitating/severely disabling) and I do think there should be different terms for these things.

ObviousNameChage · 09/08/2021 18:56

Yes I agree with you OP and Lockheart! I have actual mental illness (non-psychotic but debilitating/severely disabling) and I do think there should be different terms for these things.

There are. There is mental health which everyone has ,it ebbs and flows, can be high or low ,it can be impacted and improved etc.

Then there is mental illness .

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 09/08/2021 19:01

@ObviousNameChage

Yes I agree with you OP and Lockheart! I have actual mental illness (non-psychotic but debilitating/severely disabling) and I do think there should be different terms for these things.

There are. There is mental health which everyone has ,it ebbs and flows, can be high or low ,it can be impacted and improved etc.

Then there is mental illness .

Except that our squeamish approach to mental illness means that services for the mentally ill are referred to as mental health services (and I promise you, you don't get accepted to those unless you're pretty seriously mentally ill), mental illnesses are referred to as mental health problems, and so on, which muddies the waters to the point where people with mental illnesses that seriously affect their ability to function are expected to cope just as well as anyone else because "🌼💖💃we all have mental health 🙈💋💐"

SwimmyG · 09/08/2021 19:03

*You do know any older people that suffer with poor mental health? I do. Most of them elderly and the poor mental health stems from loneliness.

The only reason you didn’t hear about it before is because people were not allowed to talk about it for fear of very severe repercussions. 30 years ago (even 10!) we didn’t understand as much about what makes mental health as we do now. We know that the same stresses on people existed, the same set of circumstances that affect mental health now were the same then and the same mental illness existed. The only difference between then and now is knowledge and attitude.*

Yes. I know. My post was in response to those talking about young people specifically.

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 09/08/2021 19:08

Last couple of places I've lived, "Community Mental Health Team" was considered no longer euphemistic enough, and changed to things like "Community Mental Health Recovery Service" and "Locality Team".

50ShadesOfCatholic · 09/08/2021 19:12

Extraordinary levels of ignorance on display here. Clearly we need to talk a great deal more about mental health and mental illness in order to educate the great unwashed, many of whom seem to frequent Mumsnet.

All this "we have running water so we should be happy" nonsense. Dear God, where to begin.

Mental well-being is largely to do with connectedness, being loved and accepted for who you are. The first three years of a person's life are critical for the establishment of neural pathways that allow us to learn and cope. It has fuck all to do with running water and yes even poor people In Third World countries know that love matters, more so it seems than the "educated" volunteers in mental health.

Hers the thing. You don't get to judge how someone else feels. If someone tells you they are struggling and you cannot find it in yourself to listen or resist judgement, you are part of the problem.

How many times do we read of suicides where family and friends say they are shocked and "they were the last person you'd expect this of"? Well those suicides are the people who were cowed into silence because of the awful attitudes on display in here.

MaryBoBary · 09/08/2021 19:16

We have such easy lives, for the most part. *
*
Speak for yourself. Lucky you!

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 09/08/2021 19:16

To me, having a serious mental illness and getting referred to "Community Mental Health Recovery Service" rather than "Psychiatry" is like being referred to "Female Reproductive Health Recovery Service" rather than "Gynaecology". Just makes you feel like you're going to get a half hour chat with some unqualified numpty and TTFO as soon as humanly possible before you've even halfway treated for your life-threatening illness. Which, funnily enough, is more or less what you get from mental health services…

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 09/08/2021 19:20

I know some mental health problems might be invisible, not surely not on this scale, when we all have food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation etc, and in places I have lived without these things, people don't seem to be claiming so many mental health problems....

Personally I think that our "easy lives" are not that easy and it's not how humans are meant to live. A lot of people in the UK spend most of their time sitting staring at a computer, phone or TV screen. Being bombarded by adverts for things we don't need, comparing ourselves to others on social media, liking friends selfish but not properly connecting with them, not spending time outside in nature. I know you could say a lot of these things are choices, but that's the norm for people now, especially kids; it's not usual to see a toddler with a smartphone or tablet. And I know that technology is wonderful and has loads of benefits, but I think it's too much of a good thing.

Going off on on tangent there was a very interesting thread recently where the OP said that getting an allotment over lockdown had massively improved her life and mental health, and asked if we are all living in captivity:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4282541-Are-we-all-living-in-captivity

I'm sure when you lived in places that lacked basic needs, there was a sense of community between people? Support?

ATieLikeRichardGere · 09/08/2021 19:22

I also liked these articles about the issues in distinguishing between challenges to mental health and mental illness and what the change in the conversation means for some people:

amp.theguardian.com/society/2019/feb/28/meet-patients-left-out-mental-health-conversation

amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/29/conversation-mental-health-psychiatric-language-seriously-ill

LolaSmiles · 09/08/2021 19:24

I was super eye-rolly at the term ‘self-care’ previously but since suffering a bad spell of depression and anxiety I have been much more open to it - for me it means thinking more consciously about my mental well-being on a day-to-day basis, and using a much wider range of tools to help manage it.

Going for a run because you feel stressed is good but these days I’ll do things like breathing exercises, meditation, manage my diet, spend time in nature, have screen time breaks etc and I’m much more aware of my mental well-being and actively managing it rather than waiting until I have a really tough day
I agree with you that looking after yourself is important. Apologies if that didn't come across in my post.

My inner eye roll is that what would otherwise be steps to maintain wellbeing and healthily deal with life's challenges are increasingly wrapped up in psychobabble.

Lots of people will have things they do after work to switch off and clear their minds. Most people will have activities they do because they enjoy them and it gives them balance. Many people who enjoy exercise find that exercising after a busy day makes them feel better. All of this is getting wrapped up in self care talk, wellness, mindfulness etc.

I can't work out whether pulling fairly standard things under a mental wellbeing and self care umbrella is a nice way for some companies to make money by selling good mental health as a product to consumer your way to, or whether as society we are so caught up in the push to be productive that some people feel the only acceptable way to do something for them is to wrap it up in mental health language. Both I'd imagine.