to think "its impacting on my mental health" is over used

[54321nought]

I just seem to hear this constantly.

I know you can't judge what another person is going through. Every single individual time I hear it, I give the person the benefit of the doubt.

But overall, I just don't think that many people are having their mental health impacted!

I think it sometimes just means " I don't like this situation" /" this makes me anxious/nervous" / " this is annoying"

We have such easy lives, for the most part. Why is everyone suddenly saying that not getting their own way in something or other is giving them mental health problems?

I have cared for a lot of children and adults with mental health problems, I know how painful and debilitating they can be. Its not what I see in people who are telling me "XYZ is impacting on my mental health".

I know some mental health problems might be invisible, not surely not on this scale, when we all have food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation etc, and in places I have lived without these things, people don't seem to be claiming so many mental health problems....

There are lots of issues at play here. The fact that (rightly) mental health has had a lot of press, and it’s become expected and encouraged to look after your mental health and talk about it and access help if you need it. These are all good things.

There are people who suffer serious mental health conditions that require medication to stop them ending up in psychiatric units (I know, I have a close relative who is such a person). Sometimes, that medication fails or isn’t working any more and more is needed.

There are people who are diagnosed with depression and need to take anti depressants- again, a good thing that this is more commonly diagnosed and recognised so people can get the help they need.

BUT. I do think we have lost sight of what is ‘normal’ in terms of ‘mental health.’ Is it normal to sometimes feel anxious or down? Worried about a job or relationship? Absolutely. That is not having mental health issues, that is life.

I also (and this maybe controversial) do believe that many people could go to a dr and be diagnosed with depression, but some don’t, and manage to pull themselves out of it without help. Two people could be experiencing the same, one gets medicated and one doesn’t.

I do think it’s really important to talk about mental health, and in particular children and young people’s mental health, and how to protect it. But I also believe we should make sure children and young people (and everyone, really) know that ups and downs are normal.

@WTFisNext

What a vile thread.

It's attitudes like this that make people who need support before their mental wellbeing issue becomes a full blown mental health crisis stop reaching out for help...because of the reasonable assumption there will be sneering and disbelief behind their backs.

Vile? Hyperbolic much?

Funny that someone who works with mental health charities feels this way! Mental health is a common an issue as physical health and maybe it’s more prominent now as people are willing to talk about it more as there is less of a taboo? People like you saying things like this just annoy me! Don’t you think the last two years has had a massive impact on people’s mental health?! I for one have never felt so down.

Yes there are people who lie I’m sure, the same as people pretend they have a back problem etc.

sst1234

It is a vile thread. It's actually made me wonder if swathes of people who feel their mental health is suffering and want a little help are unfortunately coming across supercilious cunts of volunteers who think they know it all about mental health, with a 'fuck off you look pretty well you just need to get up and on with things, pull yourself together' stupid mindset, bonus for them it's easy judgey juicy gossip fodder, isn't it?

A Daily Heil journo will pounce on this no doubt, just the type of smug nastiness they love.

@LolaSmiles - what I meant was that thinking about it as ‘self-care’ has actually helped me think about it as a more important part of my daily life.

It’s the difference between thinking “I feel stressed so I’ll go for a run” and “prioritising some regular exercise is important to maintain my wellbeing”. It’s the difference between having a week of the booze after a bad hangover and realising that reducing my alcohol consumption is better for my long term health.

I think it's slightly disingenuous to link physical needs being met (having food , water, shelter etc) with mental health.
All sorts of circumstances can trigger a mental illness - bereavement, abuse, high stress situations at the same time as having a physically (and financially) secure life.

If you look at sports stars for example and several have recently talked about their mental health and the need to prioritise that (Simone Biles, Adam Peaty, Ben Stokes etc) they are often in the peak of physical fitness, presumably have access to good diet etc, at a certain stage of their career will probably live a comfortable life style....and yet the intense pressure to succeed (either from themselves or from others - huge amounts of media coverage) can be difficult or impossible to cope with.
George Best - alcohol addiction
Paul Gascoigne - alcohol (possibly drug) addiction
Freddie Flintoff - Bulimia
I'm sure there are lots of other examples that despite having an incredible talent and seemingly everything they could wish for they needed something to help them cope.
Should they all have just been more resilient and manned up?

I think people are more self absorbed in general these days, which is why “it’s my mental health” is the excuse of the day. Fewer people take responsibility for their own actions than used to be the case too. Everyone has health issues, whether mental, physical or both from time to time and most people are sympathetic to genuine illnesses, but the danger of continually talking about your own issues means that others might well not take you seriously when there is a real problem. There are times when a bit of stoicism and just getting on with things is the best way.

@therocinante

Surely it's a continuum, though?

A very bright light that causes me a headache is - however temporarily - impacting my physical health (or feeling of physical wellness). Crohn's disease or cancer is a physical illness. They're both still impacts on your physical health, even if on a massively sliding scale.

I see it as a (mostly harmless, and usually useful) byproduct of the awareness that everyone has mental health, good or bad, that we're able to articulate that things impact our mental wellness or lack of it daily, even in tiny ways. My neighbour has a baby that cries all night (bless her) and I am getting very little sleep because of it - that's impacting my mental wellness because I'm tired and irritable and have been sleep deprived for 2 months. It's not the same as me being diagnosed with a specific mental illness but it's still useful to me to be able to identify that as something that's affecting me mentally, even if it's only in a very small way.

It gives people the language to say "this is having an impact on my mental wellness, and that is something worth identifying" - it doesn't mean "every single thing that affects my mental wellness is on a par with a severe mental illness" in the same way that you wouldn't equate a cold with pneumonia but they both impact your physical wellness and it's perfectly acceptable to identify, work around/tackle/treat, and acknowledge the impact that both colds and pneumonia have, even if they're not equal.

If someone can treat their mental wellness as a continuum in the way we do physical wellness, there's a chance that someone will go "X makes me a bit anxious and that impacts my mental health, so I'll do Y to stop it getting worse", in the same way we might say "Jogging hurts my knees so I won't do it because I don't want a torn meniscus".

Fantastic articulation.

@TerraNovaTwo

I think many people today lack resilience. It's a first world problem - as you say, many people without certain basic needs do not bitch and moan about their MH, they just get on with it.

No - not being in the situation I have no idea whether people in desperate situations and great poverty bitch or moan. They do have mental illness with much less access to any treatment. All over the world people with mental ill health, is not a first world thing - from the World health organisation

“ Every year 703 000 people take their own life and there are many more people who attempt suicide. Every suicide is a tragedy that affects families, communities and entire countries and has long-lasting effects on the people left behind. Suicide occurs throughout the lifespan and was the fourth leading cause of death among 15-29 year-olds globally in 2019.

Suicide does not just occur in high-income countries, but is a global phenomenon in all regions of the world. In fact, over 77% of global suicides occurred in low- and middle-income countries in 2019.”

And

“ It is estimated that around 20% of global suicides are due to pesticide self-poisoning, most of which occur in rural agricultural areas in low- and middle-income countries. Other common methods of suicide are hanging and firearms.”

www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide

@sst1234 of course it's vile.

There's a poll clearly showing that the majority of people who've clicked on the thread think that speaking in terms of struggling with mental wellbeing is overused and largely to be disbelieved.

I know of two "life of the party" people who killed themselves. Not a single person would have guessed what was going on behind closed doors because they always presented "well". No wonder people aren't seeking support at what could be a transformative but early stage of struggling when these attitudes are the ones they need to contend with. By and large the people with the biggest problems in my experience are past the point of trying to fix them so don't tell us, we should be listening closer to those who are starting to struggle rather than ridiculing them.

[quote WTFisNext]@sst1234 of course it's vile.

There's a poll clearly showing that the majority of people who've clicked on the thread think that speaking in terms of struggling with mental wellbeing is overused and largely to be disbelieved.

I know of two "life of the party" people who killed themselves. Not a single person would have guessed what was going on behind closed doors because they always presented "well". No wonder people aren't seeking support at what could be a transformative but early stage of struggling when these attitudes are the ones they need to contend with. By and large the people with the biggest problems in my experience are past the point of trying to fix them so don't tell us, we should be listening closer to those who are starting to struggle rather than ridiculing them.[/quote]

Well said.

@username34512875

“ I know you can't judge what another person is going through.” You should have stopped typing after this statement.

So no-one ever lies, exaggerates or makes excuses? Suuure.

Seeing as you don't know who is faking and who isn't, I'd rather give the benefit of the doubt to a faker than miss an opportunity to support someone genuine.

[quote WTFisNext]@sst1234 of course it's vile.

There's a poll clearly showing that the majority of people who've clicked on the thread think that speaking in terms of struggling with mental wellbeing is overused and largely to be disbelieved.

I know of two "life of the party" people who killed themselves. Not a single person would have guessed what was going on behind closed doors because they always presented "well". No wonder people aren't seeking support at what could be a transformative but early stage of struggling when these attitudes are the ones they need to contend with. By and large the people with the biggest problems in my experience are past the point of trying to fix them so don't tell us, we should be listening closer to those who are starting to struggle rather than ridiculing them.[/quote]
‘mental well-being’ and associated terms are in my humble opinion overused as a get out of jail free card. Specific terms like stressed, overwhelmed etc etc I can accept but not vague assertions about impact on mental health.

I have to admit, I've done quite a bit of reading - but struggle to see why such words are needed so often.

In terms of physical health I can understand that for instance by doing too much impact exercise or drinking too much or eating too much I can make my physical health deteriorate - and at some point that becomes an illness that needs clinical help. Equally an illness can occur without a health issue that I introduce, a disease for instance.

So equally I believe equally I can do things that are damaging to my mental health, and in time this could become a clinical illness and equally this can happen without the health issue escalating.

However, I have found in life my 'mental health' is really my state of mind; and this is completely within my control. Its my reaction to events rather than the events that affect it. The same events can be reacted to in different ways.

Unfortunately I'm now against the tide. Unless it's a clinically diagnosed illness I'm back at the opinion people are simply not dealing with the situation, and it's their own reaction that is causing them to have mental health problems (just like choosing to drink too much). Its good to talk about it between friends - but it needs to be owned by the person themselves. Maybe more education of how to cope with life could be provided - but I'm no longer keen on people being encouraged to constantly share their reaction choices and concerns.

So much now expressed, that I realised mental health concerns are just describing normal life. It's up to the individual to own their life and create positive mental health by their own choices - not trying to convince others they have to change to stop impacting others.

Also to add - while the wording of the OP isn’t the best (equating basic need fulfilment with mental health) … she does raise an important point.
If everyone with a minor injury etc went straight to A&E our healthcare system would collapse.
Similarly people sucking up resources unecessary resources reduce support available for those who actually do.
I’m not talking about professional resources. But the time, support and emotional investment from people around them. Compassion fatigue is real and the more people take advantage the worse it’ll be for the real sufferers.

@Clocktopus

Seeing as you don't know who is faking and who isn't, I'd rather give the benefit of the doubt to a faker than miss an opportunity to support someone genuine.

exactly - this is what I spend my life doing, in real life and in charity work, its just the sheer numbers that are so unlikely.

Agree about the being quick to label and it not always being helpful. It's like a sacred protected word which it very emotive and makes people feel on high alert.

Part of mental illness awareness is that we all have times we feel worried, sad, scared etc. They are part of life. But we push through or ride the storm.

It is when over time normal strategies like chatting it through with a friend, keeping busy, doing hobbies, focusing on other things in life, learning to live with some pain or more therapeutic things like art, don't relieve things at all and you begin to not be able to function to live your life completing what needs to be done.
I'm not advocating constant worry or sadness is something to put up with, but I am saying bouts of negatives which are relatively short lived or can be bearable with coping mechanisms are just normal life.

I do think a mix of awareness has made people realise their ongoing worry which stops them sleeping is probably anxiety. But also modern lifestyles can mean some people have either a lot of time and loneliness, tuck away in bubbles/lockdowns (covid especially) and suddenly have to go out and talk to people and find that tough and generally demand a lot from us.

I am glad there is more teaching about it though. I've seen my DD learning lots about managing mental health through sport, hobbies, knowing what's a normal emotion, demanding respect from others in relationships etc and find it very impressive and proactive. It is certainly empowering compared to the more victim, emotive language which can be used in mental health education.

Why do people who are neither educated nor have any personal experience of mental distress feel compelled to comment on whether those who do are overstating their case? Seems like the height of ignorance to me. Rather like the armchair epidemiologists.

@50ShadesOfCatholic

Why do people who are neither educated nor have any personal experience of mental distress feel compelled to comment on whether those who do are overstating their case? Seems like the height of ignorance to me. Rather like the armchair epidemiologists.

Why are you assuming they don't? Several people with diagnosed MH issues agree with the OP.

@LolaSmiles- what I meant was that thinking about it as ‘self-care’ has actually helped me think about it as a more important part of my daily life.

It’s the difference between thinking “I feel stressed so I’ll go for a run” and “prioritising some regular exercise is important to maintain my wellbeing”. It’s the difference between having a week of the booze after a bad hangover and realising that reducing my alcohol consumption is better for my long term health.

I sort of see where you're coming from, but I don't see the alcohol/running link. Someone going for a run after a busy day isn't like someone cutting alcohol to avoid a hangover. It’s someone who knows exercise is good for them and so exercises to unwind. How is them doing exercise regularly because they find it's good to switch off and have that space any different to your self-care “prioritising some regular exercise is important to maintain my wellbeing? Same stuff, just one is talked up through the lens of popular psychology trends.

For example, if I choose to have an evening without screens and read my book, I'd say that's a relaxing evening reading with a cup of tea. Others would say they're having a self care evening.
It's just reading a book and doing something of interest, just like going to the gym after work because it makes you feel good is going to the gym.
Some people clearly find some value in the self-care label, but I'm still not clear at what point having healthy habits stop being bog standard getting on with life starts being self care. It seems to me the only difference is whether the person talking views the world through the selfcare/mindfulness/mental health lens.

YABU

It’s a bit vague though: “My job negatively impacts my mental health” doesn’t actually say much. Do you feel sad/angry/undervalued/on the team if the bad guys/ bored/ frustrated/ underachieving/ asked too much of/ square peg in round hole/imposter syndrome/wasting your skills..?

Is it “the constant stress is too much” or “the constant criticism makes me feel worthless” or “there’s so much to do I can never finish anything properly so I’m always disapointed in myself” or “it’s pointless and I fear I’m wasting my life” or “it’s just so dull it really brings me down” or “it’s so distressing to hear about such awful trauma” or “My colleagues are so irritating I’m angry all the time” or “the long hours mean I miss out in family& friends” or whatever. It’s like the opposite of “talking about your feelings” - like a soundbite or social media post rather than a proper conversation.

So then we get to add nagging worry about others and “I shouldn’t say anything, such-a-bod has told me they feel bad enough already...” to the burden.

I think it was underused in the past, rather than being overused now.

I agree, as someone who has had depression it is truly awful and debilitating and do think the mental health wording is overused and I am not sure all the attention it’s getting is helping as it’s almost trivialising mental health. I think it’s a bit of trend that people have picked up from the media so hopefully eventually people will rediscover and learn to except the many emotions there are but they aren’t all mental health issues.