to think "its impacting on my mental health" is over used

[54321nought]

I just seem to hear this constantly.

I know you can't judge what another person is going through. Every single individual time I hear it, I give the person the benefit of the doubt.

But overall, I just don't think that many people are having their mental health impacted!

I think it sometimes just means " I don't like this situation" /" this makes me anxious/nervous" / " this is annoying"

We have such easy lives, for the most part. Why is everyone suddenly saying that not getting their own way in something or other is giving them mental health problems?

I have cared for a lot of children and adults with mental health problems, I know how painful and debilitating they can be. Its not what I see in people who are telling me "XYZ is impacting on my mental health".

I know some mental health problems might be invisible, not surely not on this scale, when we all have food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation etc, and in places I have lived without these things, people don't seem to be claiming so many mental health problems....

I agree

People are using it every day at work to get out of doing stuff. It’s the new bad back

@Purplelion

Unless you can see inside someone’s head you don’t know how things affect their mental health.

This. The things that some people find easy or a bit annoying can be intolerably stressful to others. There’s no objective scale that says an exam is more or less stressful than a speech or a driving test or a Zoom call or a social event or whatever… Everyone has their own stress triggers.

I think many people today lack resilience. It's a first world problem - as you say, many people without certain basic needs do not bitch and moan about their MH, they just get on with it.

Completely agree, lots of people now conflate normal human emotions such as worry, feeling down/sad, feeling stressed with being a mental health issue.

I particularly worry for young people who seem to be fed a line that anything other than happiness is a sign that you might have a mental health problem.

@Orf1abc

We have such easy lives, for the most part.

Who are 'we'? Are you aware how many people are homeless or in inappropriate housing, how many people rely on food banks to feed their families?

This.

It is not helpful to generalise and use 'we' like this.

Personally I feel there is an element of lip service going on around mental health issues. Those who are very priviledged tend to believe that it is possible to talk about mental health issues openly.

I really don't believe that is true. Some of us just manage, and suffer a considerable amount in the process, because mental health support is a postcode lottery and services are being cut all the time.

Many people are having to choose between very basic needs now, like gas and electric or food, and spending money for a break or even child care is a luxury for many.

Yabu,

Mental health, like physical health is on a spectrum and we all have it.

The more we talk about our mental health, look after it and make it a priority the better for everyone (including the NHS). How many people are on long-term sick because of stress in the workplace - who probably for too long just went along with it, not prioritising their mental health, overflowing stress buckets because of this mentality of well other people have it worse than me so I guess I’ve just got to carry on.

No, let’s reframe this belief that in order to truly struggle you’ve got to be in crisis or suicidal. NHS mental health services are absolutely on their knees, so we can’t really take any more people who have spent years burying their needs/trauma/bottling up their feelings until they reach crisis point.

Nobody should have to compete to be seen as worthy for MH support but sadly with lots of attitudes like yours working in MH it makes the whole system a lot worse. The amount of people who ive worked with over the years who haven’t had their suffering “believed” or validated, who’ve been told by MH professionals/volunteers that if they were actually suicidal they would have done something by now.

Your judgement and views are yours and you are entitled to them, but perhaps not best placed to be volunteering in MH.

I agree with you

@EmeraldShamrock

I think people recognise triggers and are more aware of self protection.

I think this is true. People are becoming more aware of their triggers and more protective of their own mental health. I think it’s the right response, given that people have had a very difficult 18 months (at best), and many have been through major changes and/or traumatic experiences in that time.

@Blueshoess

Yabu,

Mental health, like physical health is on a spectrum and we all have it.

The more we talk about our mental health, look after it and make it a priority the better for everyone (including the NHS). How many people are on long-term sick because of stress in the workplace - who probably for too long just went along with it, not prioritising their mental health, overflowing stress buckets because of this mentality of well other people have it worse than me so I guess I’ve just got to carry on.

No, let’s reframe this belief that in order to truly struggle you’ve got to be in crisis or suicidal. NHS mental health services are absolutely on their knees, so we can’t really take any more people who have spent years burying their needs/trauma/bottling up their feelings until they reach crisis point.

Nobody should have to compete to be seen as worthy for MH support but sadly with lots of attitudes like yours working in MH it makes the whole system a lot worse. The amount of people who ive worked with over the years who haven’t had their suffering “believed” or validated, who’ve been told by MH professionals/volunteers that if they were actually suicidal they would have done something by now.

Your judgement and views are yours and you are entitled to them, but perhaps not best placed to be volunteering in MH.

Yes. Basically.

On the one hand I agree with you but a lot of it is circumstantial for people. Given them a better paid job, descent housing and a reliable partner then they’d probably be fine.

If they live in shit housing, with no career prospects, with 3 children because their partner ran off then it’s understandable they feel low.

If you have someone who’s child has special needs then it’s completely understandable why they would potentially struggle with MH problems. They will likely be worrying about the child’s future etc. So anything to do with your children potentially not being able to live independently, would be difficult for parents to come to terms with. That’s is completely understandable.

The above examples are of circumstances that can negatively impact how someone feels, in other words, worrying so much about your children and what will happen to them as adults, ie will they be able to work if need assisted living etc… is very stressful. Nothing is more important than your kids.

When you get a situation when someone has the ‘perfect life’ and even they acknowledge is the a great life yet still feel low. That’s obviously a chemical imbalance with no obvious cause. This isn’t circumstantial. Hopefully most of these people are able to access medication to help see them through. Those that have kids that are sick or with special needs etc would swap life in a heart beat with these people and they would feel amazing but of course it doesn’t work like that for the others.

I do agree that MH isn’t as prevalent in third world countries because they’re too busy trying to survive. I think in the western world we’re products of out environment and feel like failures if we dot achieve x,y,z

I don't think that this type of increased awareness actually does anything for people with mental illnesses or at risk of developing them. Certainly doesn't seem to reduce the stigma of serious mental illness (and I feel that talking about "stigma" rather than identifying and combating discrimination is part of the problem, too).

At a slight tangent to this thread. I trained a few years back in an area of mental health. We were constantly told about 'self-care' - and when in practice making sure we are 'fit for practice'.

In the NHS in particular this training now seems derisory. There must be hundreds and thousands of NHS staff who have pushed themselves to the brink holding down their jobs during Covid doing overtime, battling through stress.

I really don't think this is the way forward, as we are now hearing about increased levels of PTSD etc in NHS staff and one in three teachers leaving the profession.

That is exactly what I mean about lip service. It is not the fault of the staff, it is the fault of a system (and a government that simply doesn't value it's own people, or have compassion for them).

See also "validation"
I feel like an old fart but why is everyone so annoyingly self absorbed these days? It's so unhealthy.
Other people arent props.

@Bellarime

I think it’s a shift in how we articulate. There are mental health problems, and there is mental illness. I think in the past to denote an impact on the former we’d have just said it’s getting me down/I’m fed up/driving me mad. I do think though that some people overuse the term mental health.

Up until a few years ago I’d never heard the terms “service users” or “childcare setting” etc.

really? I have been retired 15 years and we were using "service user" long before that.

“ I know you can't judge what another person is going through.” You should have stopped typing after this statement.

I wouldn't say I had mental health problems but my situation ( parent carer of severely disabled teenager with challenging behaviour) does impact on my mental health.

@godmum56 I don’t work in an sector where it’s used, I have Clients. But yes as an outsider as it where it’s only recently I’ve come across it’s use.

While I agree that mental health is important, I do see and hear the "my mental health" phrase being used to death...its like the old "gluten allergy" thing that used to make people I know who have a genuine and serious gluten allergy foam at the mouth.

I agree with @therocinante. We all have mental and physical health and it’s important people are aware of protecting both / that both are equally important. I don’t think this detracts from the fact that some people have significant mental illnesses / face much greater challenges than others in relation to their mental health.

Who are you to decide what other people find stressful?

@MattyGroves

I agree with you. People seem to have lost the ability to say "that makes me unhappy/sad/grumpy", it's all "it's impacting my mental health"

I agree too. I have never used this expression in my entire life - I am in my 70’s - and I have certainly had times when I have been in truly awful situations. It’s just a sign of the times I suppose. The ‘phrase of the moment’. There will be another one along shortly. The thing that I find quite concerning is the number of children/young people using this expression, when they are simply bored, disappointed or unmotivated. Maybe the thinking is that someone will provide a magic solution for them, so that they don’t need to accept responsibility for making changes.

I've always been a worrier. Always.
These days people call it anxiety. It's not, it's just how I am!

I agree with OP. It's overused and it trivialises actual mental illness.

It's become a bit of a faddy term to use for many, and the latest bandwagon for some to be seen to be doing the right thing.

OP your Post made me think about am acquaintance who went to CAB panicking about debt her abusive husband had got into behind her back, his other antics too had made her ill - & this pompous bastard of a volunteer looked her up & down slowly and said - 'you're well presented, you look and sound ok so why is it you've come here for help?'

& A friend (loose term, I distance from her) volunteering in a similar role to yours who is quite cutting when she speaks to and about people. I've known her years, and know very well she likes to feel 'better than'.

I actually think volunteer staff should be monitored once training is completed because they're often just wanting something to fill their time with purpose but that doesn't mean they like the demographic they're there to help and advise.

Not speaking of good, practical volunteers with their heart in the right place of course but the unwelcoming, judgey ones need to be gotten rid of.

It's good to give your time but not to use that as a premise to get near vulnerable people who've been referred for help, and then be cynical about them.

I do agree, a bit, in that it's a popular phrase at the moment so possibly overused.

However, I find it to be a useful one, myself. I've only used it maybe twice, but it conveyed my meaning without having to do into detail. I can say "lockdown really impacted my mental health" (for example) and I don't feel as if I'm burdening someone with having to respond to the reality of it. "I was virtually incapacitated by my depression for weeks at a time" just kills a conversation.

(And I suppose it's AIBU so someone will ask why would I bring it up at all, and the response is, because sometimes you just want someone to know you were also struggling, without inviting a full conversation on the details and making them feel as if they need to do something about it, or whatever)