to think "its impacting on my mental health" is over used

[54321nought]

I just seem to hear this constantly.

I know you can't judge what another person is going through. Every single individual time I hear it, I give the person the benefit of the doubt.

But overall, I just don't think that many people are having their mental health impacted!

I think it sometimes just means " I don't like this situation" /" this makes me anxious/nervous" / " this is annoying"

We have such easy lives, for the most part. Why is everyone suddenly saying that not getting their own way in something or other is giving them mental health problems?

I have cared for a lot of children and adults with mental health problems, I know how painful and debilitating they can be. Its not what I see in people who are telling me "XYZ is impacting on my mental health".

I know some mental health problems might be invisible, not surely not on this scale, when we all have food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation etc, and in places I have lived without these things, people don't seem to be claiming so many mental health problems....

I tend to agree with you OP.

I recently lost my DH. I have days when I really struggle with that and barely function. Does that mean my mental health has been adversely affected or does it mean I'm having a normal response to a really horrible situation?

There is a sliding scale, really.

Good Mental health - flourishing
I
Lowered levels of wellbeing/ mental health impacted - languishing
I
Mild mental illness - struggling
I
Serious mental illness - floundering

There's often a misunderstanding that people who are talking about being at point 2 or 3 on this scale are "pretending" that they have a serious mental illness.

It is a shame because I think this discourages people from talking about it, and then things are only likely to get worse!

It's OK to feel like your mental health is not 100% and to talk about that. The more people talk about this stuff, and the more people LISTEN, the better things will be.

On one hand, I agree that society in general tends to use more pathological language and that's not always for the best. It's blurring a range of experiences into just medical ones and I think, as others said, particularly with young people, that it's amplifying catastophizing rather than teaching coping skills.

On the other hand, I think that is in part because things are too often not taken seriously unless there is an accepted medical term attached to it. It's become a spiral. I mean, even in the OP, mental health being impacted is equated to having a mental illness as if we can't discuss our health without there being a condition involved.

I've seen a lot of talk lately about how people in destitute places don't "claim" mental ill health and the rest of us need to recognize that doing so means someone isn't as bad off as they think. It always brings to mind for me of when Palestinian doctors corrected Western reports on the rates of PTSD, because the Western idea of "post" in that situation, that people who can discuss their trauma clearly must be after the trauma, was not correct and certainly not something that should be universally applied, that there is a need to discuss trauma disorders and the impacts of trauma while still living in it and how much the Western doctors were missing from what the Palestinian doctors were doing by making those assumptions. I think they made very good points and it was just one of many examples I've seen where just because the same language isn't being used to discuss trauma disorders or other types of mental ill health doesn't mean it isn't being talked about or that it isn't recognized or people don't see it in themselves.

And really, while "X impacted my mental health" may sound a bit dramatic, every day things do impact our health. Food affects our health - all of it, how well we sleep, hydration, the quality and security of our shelter... while I agree that it would be clearer to discuss actually how it's impacted someone's thinking just like I might say a shite night sleep has made it hard to think and my joints ache (with full knowledge that I'm actually very limited in knowing with any certainty and many other things may have caused that too), I think it's a bit dismissive and undervalues health to think 'many people' don't have their mental health impacted.

Also just to add to my previous post - it's hardly surprising that we are seeing more people at points 2 or 3 on that scale, is it?

Yes, we have food and water. But that is all relative. Each person is only the sum of their own experiences, and obviously most of us don't know what it is like to be starving or homeless. Are you really saying that nobody in wealthy countries can ever have mental health difficulties, because we have enough to eat? That is incredibly short-sighted and just not the way it works.

Look at what is going on in the UK and the world. Covid. Brexit. Tory government, poor people getting poorer whilst the rich get richer. Conspiracy theorists spouting off everywhere. Higher house prices. Terrible job market for our young people. Climate change.

I mean come on. We are facing a very uncertain future here and it's not surprising at all that people are struggling.

If you are genuinely surprised that mental health issues are going up then I think you need to get your head out of the sand and go look at the news!

I can see this from both sides. I work in a welfare capacity supporting vulnerable people.

I see a huge difference in the clinical outcomes between people who come from cultures who can more readily express poor mental health compared to those who come from cultures where is it still not talked about openly. It’d be so detrimental to row back on the progress made.

Having said that, my colleagues and I are having more encounters with service users who use mental health as a reason to get bumped up in a queue for services. This could be anything from applying to a particular school, requesting a specific type of housing from local authorities, accessing medical care etc.

I’m sympathetic because services are generally shocking and all people want is the best for them and their family, but it’s jarring when people are prioritised for mental health reasons and then decline actual mental health support or even worse - tell their friends to give the same excuse so they also get bumped up the queue!

I have no idea how to actually address the issue though - it just seems that the services go to people who shout loudest instead of the people who are most in need.

It's a language shift, which sometimes makes sense and sometimes doesn't.

It makes sense to be open about life's ups and downs and to acknowledge feelings. I'm not sure whether the move to dress everything up in pseudo-psychology is a good thing though. For example feeling anxious and nervous can be entirely reasonable emotions, as can feeling sad, or fed up, or angry. Feeling a normal range of emotions isn't negatively affecting someone's mental health, it's being human. But if someone chooses to view the whole world through the lens of being a fragile individual who needs to be happy all the time, they're more likely to perceive otherwise normal emotions as a threat to their mental health.

There's no doubt to me that it is good for people to look after their wellbeing, but I find myself inwardly rolling my eyes at how a lot of what was previously known as relaxing and chilling out has been transformed into self-care/wellness/mental health first aid/mindfulness etc.
E.g.
Person 1: I'm going for a run after work to clear my head and switch off. It's been a busy week and I need a break. Maybe I'll have a bath too.
Person 2: I'm having a self-care and mindfulness evening as work is affecting my mental health.

I'd imagine Person 1 is probably much better placed to manage their mental wellbeing.

I am inclined to agree op, I have a mental illness and it’s really not easy to manage. I work full time, but it takes everything out of me that I struggle to do anything else.

Who are you to police how others protect their mental health?

I agree, OP. My friend's daughter was being horrifically bullied by a group of girls in her school, with her ex best friend as the ringleader. My friend had to battle with the school to get this recognised and dealt with appropriately. It resulted in a meeting with all the girls and their parents. They were trying to get to the bottom of it all and it was a humiliating experience for my friend's daughter. My friend was left absolutely fuming because in the meeting, when the extent of the bullying really came to light, the ringleader burst into tears and said she didn't want to continue with the meeting as it was affecting her mental health. So that was that. That one sentence meant that the meeting ended and the bully got lots of attention. Nothing about my friend's daughter's mental well-being or anything else, the whole thing was brushed under the rug because the bully was having an awkward conversation that showed her parents and teachers what she had been doing. My friend's daughter was advised to try to empathise with the bully and stay away from that group of girls to avoid any more bullying.
It really is sometimes used as a 'keyword' that people know teachers/employers can't ignore.

If everyone claims to have mental health issues when what they mean is that they are experiencing a totally normal response to horrible experiences, or that they are unhappy/stressed, then those people who are genuinely, seriously unwell, won't get the understanding and care they need.
Bluntly, it 'devalues' the meaning of the description 'mentally unwell'.
Everyone's state of mind is better when their lives are going well. We,as a society, need to ensure the resources are available for people who really need them and not used up on people who are basically okay but a bit unhappy or whose feelings would improve if they changed their job or relationship.

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

I think it’s the difference between mental health and mental illness. Something can impact someone’s mental health (poor sleep, a stressful work situation, relationship issues, etc) without them having a mental illness. Just like someone can feel ill or it hurts that they stub their toe or whatever and it doesn’t mean that they are sick or disabled. I do get that some people might use it as an excuse, but for the most part I think it’s a good thing that people are more aware about protecting their mental health.

I completely agree with this

@Waspsarearseholes

I agree, OP. My friend's daughter was being horrifically bullied by a group of girls in her school, with her ex best friend as the ringleader. My friend had to battle with the school to get this recognised and dealt with appropriately. It resulted in a meeting with all the girls and their parents. They were trying to get to the bottom of it all and it was a humiliating experience for my friend's daughter. My friend was left absolutely fuming because in the meeting, when the extent of the bullying really came to light, the ringleader burst into tears and said she didn't want to continue with the meeting as it was affecting her mental health. So that was that. That one sentence meant that the meeting ended and the bully got lots of attention. Nothing about my friend's daughter's mental well-being or anything else, the whole thing was brushed under the rug because the bully was having an awkward conversation that showed her parents and teachers what she had been doing. My friend's daughter was advised to try to empathise with the bully and stay away from that group of girls to avoid any more bullying. It really is sometimes used as a 'keyword' that people know teachers/employers can't ignore.

That is quite shocking! Certainly being used as a ‘get out of jail free’ card, and the problem is that it just makes the bully’s situation sound so much more serious that it is. If only the meeting chair had been able to ask the bully what effect she thought her actions had caused to the other girl. I guess she was somewhat caught on the hop, so to speak, and didn’t dare continue. I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself, if I had been there.

Hmmm. Im not sure.

I think a way of looking at it is that everyone has mental health, and it’s on a scale, just like physical health. So someone might say, “I can’t carry more boxes because I’ve already carried 10 and now my back hurts.” That person may not have a back problem or condition but the strain has caused a pain which is an indication not to carry any more boxes that day. Likewise, someone at might say “I can’t deal with anymore customer complaints today where customers are very hostile as I’ve already dealt with 10 today and it’s impacting my mental health”. They may not have a mental health condition but that person has reached their limit for that day, much like the box carrier. And then of course there will be other people with a slipped disc or PTSD which is different, but it doesn’t mean that the former colleagues’ limits are any less valid.

What a vile thread.

It's attitudes like this that make people who need support before their mental wellbeing issue becomes a full blown mental health crisis stop reaching out for help...because of the reasonable assumption there will be sneering and disbelief behind their backs.

@FinallyDecided

Who are you to police how others protect their mental health?

Someone who presumably has had to prioritise limited services for those who need it most and is now swamped by 10 times that number so she is questioning whether the sudden recent influx of people really need the help they claim to need. Just read the posts.

@sotiredofthislonelylife - I'm the same! I can only imagine what I think I may have said/done but my friend said she was basically rigid with white hot rage. Schools/employers are terrified of this buzzword now and it is being widely abused to basically avoid any awkward/difficult situations. Needless to say, my friend's daughter isn't returning to that school in September but the bullying is still being attempted over social media. Fucking sickening. Next step will be the police.

My late mil was a narcissist: she ticked all the boxes and had all the traits and was seeing a specialist doctor for many years too who diagnosed her as one ( as well as other MH issues)
When I hear people calling their partners ' a narc' I often wonder if it's true or not as they don't appear to be as my mil was ; often it's because the person talking about them just think they may have ' narcissist tendencies' without any kind of diagnosis or research about what it really means to live with one.
Now everyone is one or knows one when really is fairly rare , it's often just their personality.
I blame the Internet , too much information out there that can be twisted to suit any situation i
or person.

Surely taking care of mental well being is important though...So that you dont reach a crisis point?
While older people or previous generations might say its indulgent or privileged to talk about mental health, I think that it was just not spoken about, not that no one suffered.
People using phrases "a bit eccentric" or "highly strung" "a nervous wreck" or women who "suffered with their nerves" (probably euphemisms for people who had mental health problems but it wasnt the done thing to talk about it)

I have suffered with depression, ED, PND, anxiety at various stages of my life and I think it's only now that I'm learning to try to take care of my mental wellbeing (and that includes saying no to people sometimes ) so that I dont reach the point of overwhelm, or feel that I cant function.

There is a difference between mental health and mental illness/disorder.

Mental health is described as being on a continuum that has both a vertical and horizontal axis. The vertical axis goes from no mental illness to significant illness and the horizontal axis goes from good mental to poor mental health and we all fall someone within these two at any given point. I.e. You can have a mental illness/disorder like bipolar (thus you’re higher on the vertical axis) but it is currently managed well through medication etc so you are mentally well (Thus you end up nearer the top left corner of the graph). Similarly, you can have no mental illness/disorder but something can impact your mental health (which could be anything) and thus you are a bit further along the horizontal axis.

You don’t have to have a mental illness or disorder to have poor mental health. Do you have the same thoughts when someone says something like “I slept really badly last night. It’s impacting on my ability to function today” or “I tripped and stubbed my toe. It’s impacting my ability to walk properly today” or is it different because it’s physical?

Just noticed I mixed up the axis explanation - you get the idea though!

As a mental health professional, no, I don't think it's so overused. As others have articulated on this thread, saying "it's impacting on my mental health" can mean anything from "it's mildly frustrating me", to "it's triggering symptoms of psychosis for me". A person's mental wellness (or lack thereof) is their own subjective experience; and we are all free to express this in whichever way we wish to. Mental wellness exists on a continuum in the same way physical wellness does - we can be at any point on this continuum at any time depending on our life circumstances including internal and external stressors. Someone saying "this is impacting on my mental health" is simply expressing that they have moved further down this continuum towards feeling less mentally well. They are not necessarily meaning "I have a diagnosable mental illness". In the same way I might develop stomach ache or a headache after a particularly stressful day - I might say "I don't feel too well today" or "today has impacted negatively on my physical health"; but I don't mean "I have a diagnosable physical health condition as a result of a bad day". I just mean I've shifted down that continuum today. Tomorrow I may shift back up towards feeling more well. I'm pleased there is increased awareness of mental well-being and that people are expressing this more readily.

Oh this is a difficult one. I’ve had diagnosed mental illness on and off since I was a very young child. I’m really sympathetic to how awful it can be. I do sometimes feel like people who are talking about mental health maybe don’t have as serious a problem as I’ve had to deal with, and don’t realise that we aren’t really dealing with the same magnitude of thing, but then I also know that lots of people have it much worse than me and might feel like my issues don’t register on their scale. I feel bad when I have to emphasise my issues to get the help I need, but if I need help try on what can I do? Everyone may need help for their emotional well-being and should be entitled to that in an ideal world - maybe not all of those people are best thought of as having a mental illness.

In some ways it's good to recognise something is good, or bad for your mental health and wellbeing, and to take steps to include/exclude appropriately.

I think you tend to find usage falls into 2 main categories. People who recognise something has a good/bad effect on their mental health...and say so. Making you aware to help them, by allowing more opportunities to do or avoid a certain task or otherwise.

Others, who use the phrase to shut down anything they don't like. Generally marked by the demand whatever it is must be stopped instantly or they won't entertain a perhaps unpleasant but not unreasonable task at all.

This is why mental health struggles won’t be normalised away there’s stigma.
People expressing how they feel are then doubted and then eventually feel shamed/silenced and the cycle continues

It’s only the judgement of an individual as to whether their own mh is ok or not. Everyone’s limits and triggers are different

You don’t get to decide that too many people are struggling or at what level mh struggles are allowed to begin !

@PressuresOn

This is why mental health struggles won’t be normalised away there’s stigma. People expressing how they feel are then doubted and then eventually feel shamed/silenced and the cycle continues

It’s only the judgement of an individual as to whether their own mh is ok or not. Everyone’s limits and triggers are different

You don’t get to decide that too many people are struggling or at what level mh struggles are allowed to begin !

Completely agree.