to think "its impacting on my mental health" is over used

[54321nought]

I just seem to hear this constantly.

I know you can't judge what another person is going through. Every single individual time I hear it, I give the person the benefit of the doubt.

But overall, I just don't think that many people are having their mental health impacted!

I think it sometimes just means " I don't like this situation" /" this makes me anxious/nervous" / " this is annoying"

We have such easy lives, for the most part. Why is everyone suddenly saying that not getting their own way in something or other is giving them mental health problems?

I have cared for a lot of children and adults with mental health problems, I know how painful and debilitating they can be. Its not what I see in people who are telling me "XYZ is impacting on my mental health".

I know some mental health problems might be invisible, not surely not on this scale, when we all have food, shelter, drinking water, sanitation etc, and in places I have lived without these things, people don't seem to be claiming so many mental health problems....

I saw it used as an excuse to break lockdown rules quite a few times during the first lockdown. I remember one woman in particular in a FB group of which I'm a member ranted on more than one occasion because she wasn't allowed to jump round the local cross-country course on her horse (she could still hack out, ride in the manege etc, it was the higher risk activities that were limited so as not to add extra pressure on the NHS at the time), and every time she would insist it was essential "for her mental health". She wasn't the only example of that kind of thing at the time.

To some extent it is overused (as is gaslighting, narcissist, toxic, etc) for dramatic impact.

But people have different thresholds when it comes to physical and mental health. What one person can brush aside as “no big deal” is someone else’s full-scale emergency.

I do feel that overall health anxiety is on the increase.

Well, a lot of things DO impact on our mental health.

If something makes you anxious/ nervous then that is an impact on your mental health.

They aren't saying they are unwell or have a mental illness.

I think you are misunderstanding the language here.

I agree with you OP.

On one hand I think it's a good thing that people have more vocabulary around MH issues and more awareness.

But I think people have started invoking their 'mental health' when they're just talking about something that makes them feel bad or is challenging.

Finding something hard, doesn't mean there is any issue with your mental health. It just means you're experiencing an emotion. And that's healthy, not all experiences are good. A lot of stuff (especially in a pandemic) is bad, and feeling bad is a healthy reaction to it.

People see mental health as being very different to physical health.

If someone said "I sit all day and that impacts my health" you wouldn't bat an eyelid. We are told how alcohol, poor diet, lack of exercise etc. can have an impact on our health.

It doesn't mean we are unwell. These are just things that have an impact.

Same with mental health. If you're stressed at work, for example, it will have an impact on your mental health.

It doesn't mean you have depression or anxiety or any other diagnosable mental illness.

A friend of mine really does have clinical depression and MH issues / anxiety.
It's not just being down or fed up because of things going wrong from time to time, it is a medical condition that makes her cry numerous times a day and struggle to function sometimes as well.
The problem with GPs is they only get ten minutes to diagnose anything and it's probably easier to say it's this or that when really it's just stress or life being a bit shit ( but will improve in time)
It's a tough subject though and i would not say to anyone in real life ' your not depressed' for fear of upsetting them or making it all worse and so on , although I do suspect that some people do just say all these things because it can get them out of doing certain things too.
It is hard to know isn't it?

@DeeCeeCherry

OP your Post made me think about am acquaintance who went to CAB panicking about debt her abusive husband had got into behind her back, his other antics too had made her ill - & this pompous bastard of a volunteer looked her up & down slowly and said - 'you're well presented, you look and sound ok so why is it you've come here for help?'

& A friend (loose term, I distance from her) volunteering in a similar role to yours who is quite cutting when she speaks to and about people. I've known her years, and know very well she likes to feel 'better than'.

I actually think volunteer staff should be monitored once training is completed because they're often just wanting something to fill their time with purpose but that doesn't mean they like the demographic they're there to help and advise.

Not speaking of good, practical volunteers with their heart in the right place of course but the unwelcoming, judgey ones need to be gotten rid of.

It's good to give your time but not to use that as a premise to get near vulnerable people who've been referred for help, and then be cynical about them.

o god I used to manage volunteers.....total nightmare with the occasional wonderful person.

I think people recognise triggers and are more aware of self protection

I agree with this and that people are more aware nowadays about the importance of maintaining, promoting, and protecting their mental health just as they do with their physical health - especially as we know that mental health can affect physical health and visa versa.

I know if I don't get enough sleep over a period of several days I get irritable, anxious, and I start overthinking. I also get physical symptoms such as headaches, chest tightness, and heart palpitations (both of these are anxiety related) but these then trigger off PTSD related issues and mentally I end up in a bit of a mess that takes me longer to bounce back from than it would if I'd just had an early night after one night of sleep/staying up late. So knowing that this is the potential end result of too many late nights, if I'd had 2-3 late nights on the trot and was then invited on a night out I might respond that I'm sorry I can't go, it would be bad for my mental health or that I'm sorry I'm having an early night for the sake of my mental health.

Yes see also anxiety. I have anxiety I have X anxiety. People just used to feel anxious from time to time about things it's perfectly reasonable to feel anxious about. I fully accept that some people are unfortunate to have unreasonable anxiety. Just not the numbers that seem to crop up on MN

@Sleepyblueocean

I wouldn't say I had mental health problems but my situation ( parent carer of severely disabled teenager with challenging behaviour) does impact on my mental health.

This is exactly the set of circumstances where people should be able to completely understand why at times, your MH could be impacted.

People could always re-train in jobs etc to create better incomes if that was why their MH was suffering, but in your situation, there isn’t anything that can be done.

There is a lot of self diagnosis of mental health conditions on here. Naturally once diagnosised, the person can't help telling everyone that they have X condition, which in many cases (for example bipolar), is clinically very rare.

I think there has definitely been a shift over the last few years towards more extreme good and bad emotions being seen as unacceptable and a problem. Feelings sad or stressed doesn't always have to constitute a mental health problem - they are sometimes just part of the natural ebb and flow of life.

I do think sometimes the assumption that everyone should just feel OK all the time contributes towards people feeling low and worried about their MH.

@Bibidy

I think there has definitely been a shift over the last few years towards more extreme good and bad emotions being seen as unacceptable and a problem. Feelings sad or stressed doesn't always have to constitute a mental health problem - they are sometimes just part of the natural ebb and flow of life.

I do think sometimes the assumption that everyone should just feel OK all the time contributes towards people feeling low and worried about their MH.

I agree.

@Bibidy

I think there has definitely been a shift over the last few years towards more extreme good and bad emotions being seen as unacceptable and a problem. Feelings sad or stressed doesn't always have to constitute a mental health problem - they are sometimes just part of the natural ebb and flow of life.

I do think sometimes the assumption that everyone should just feel OK all the time contributes towards people feeling low and worried about their MH.

Don't you think we are moving away from that assumption, though?

People talk more now about Not Feeling OK than they ever have before, precisely because there is more awareness that it's just not realistic that people feel OK all the time.

It feels more acceptable now to talk about how you actually feel, rather than bottle it up. (And I think that's a good thing).

When people talk about mental health difficulties/ mental health being impacted, that is precisely what they are talking about. Just difficulties, or an impact on their mental health. They are not always saying they have a clinical disorder.

To say "X is happening in my life and this is impacting my mental health" is actually a very healthy thing to communicate. It's only by acknowledging it that we can do anything about it, and hopefully prevent it from becoming something that actually does result in a clinical diagnosis.

@DifferentHair

I agree with you OP.

On one hand I think it's a good thing that people have more vocabulary around MH issues and more awareness.

But I think people have started invoking their 'mental health' when they're just talking about something that makes them feel bad or is challenging.

Finding something hard, doesn't mean there is any issue with your mental health. It just means you're experiencing an emotion. And that's healthy, not all experiences are good. A lot of stuff (especially in a pandemic) is bad, and feeling bad is a healthy reaction to it.

Yes, I think saying it isn't the problem so much as how people then deal with it. Some people are definitely using it to say "I should never feel anything negative and now that I do, it's your problem to fix". I do see that in a work setting, especially among young people new to the world of work. I had to give a member of my team some constructive feedback last year about some issues with her work. I framed it supportively: showed her some specific examples, checked she understood what was required and had had the necessary training, and we agreed the - relatively small (in terms of effort to her) but important - changes she needed to make to get this piece of work back on track. Next 1:1 with her, I started by asking her generally how things were going, how she was feeling, and she told me that me having spoken to her about the errors had had a negative impact on her mental health. I'm honestly not sure how anyone can expect to get through an entire career without ever taking on board some constructive advice, no one gets it right 100% of the time and we have to be open to guidance and correction occasionally.

People are keen on saying ' he or she is on the spectrum' without really understanding what it means. In lots of cases, I bet they are not at all but again , I can't say anything, I'm not an expert or a doctor and can only nod along to whatever they think it means. it's just their personality a lot of the time.

OCD is another one that comes up , being a bit tidy , liking things clean etc isn't OCD !

What spectrum would that be then? I presume you mean the autism spectrum? Autism isn't a mental illness.

Feelings sad or stressed doesn't always have to constitute a mental health problem - they are sometimes just part of the natural ebb and flow of life

Yes - I suppose what I'm getting at is that this is not mutually exclusive with saying "my mental health is being impacted".

It is part of the ebb and flow of life, our mental health is in constant flux and varies from one day to the next, and that's OK.

Mental health is different to mental illness.

I think in general it’s a good thing that we are becoming more comfortable with using mental health vocabulary and that looking after our mental health is seen as something we need to do actively in the same way we actively look after our physical health.

I’ve started taking antidepressants recently as I realised (thanks to a helpful GP) I was suffering with anxiety and depression. I still don’t feel I can talk about that at work though, in a way I would if it were a physical health condition. On bad mental health days I’ve either battled through or feigned a physical illness because I don’t feel I can be honest. It would make life much easier if I felt I could just tell people.

I agree with you. Especially in our kids.

It's a tricky one and I do think that people get mixed up with the terms "mental health" and "mental illness"

I don't think it's unreasonable for individuals to make decisions based on what they feel protects their mental wellbeing and I don't think that saying you are avoiding something due to the 'impact on your mental health' is the same as claiming to have a mental illness and expecting input from health care professionals or charities

I do think that sometimes it is used as an excuse though for getting out of things which are perhaps not pleasant but are everyday challenges that we should not be avoiding

I think it's good that people are allowed to talk about their state of mind.
But I also think we've been sold the idea that we are meant to be happy all the time and so events which make us unhappy are now seen as a 'problem' rather than a normal part of human life.
This might mean that people who really do have serious mental health issues don't get the help they need because the resources aren't there and everyone thinks that their personal level of discomfort is the same as people who are really ill.

@DifferentHair

I agree with you OP.

On one hand I think it's a good thing that people have more vocabulary around MH issues and more awareness.

But I think people have started invoking their 'mental health' when they're just talking about something that makes them feel bad or is challenging.

Finding something hard, doesn't mean there is any issue with your mental health. It just means you're experiencing an emotion. And that's healthy, not all experiences are good. A lot of stuff (especially in a pandemic) is bad, and feeling bad is a healthy reaction to it.

I agree with this assessment. Of course it's a great thing that issues are being talked about publicly and have less stigma than before. But it certainly feels like some people simply use it as an excuse to get out of doing anything difficult in life and to get sympathy.

I did a degree course a few years ago, and doing class presentations was a core component of one of the modules.
There were so many students who claimed not to be able to do them because of anxiety issues, or mental health issues.
Students who were very sociable, and spent much of the year partying, as seen in photos posted on social media.

I get it, presentations are horrible. Nobody likes doing them, I hated it. I was shaking, and sweaty and nauseous beforehand. But it just seemed like such a cop out.
What really bugged me was the ones who complained that they didn't get any marks, like they should have gotten some compensation marks, even though they didn't make any effort .

@MattyGroves

I agree with you. People seem to have lost the ability to say "that makes me unhappy/sad/grumpy", it's all "it's impacting my mental health"

I agree with this. As someone who has experienced not-insignificant mental health problems (clinically diagnosed and treated rather than self-diagnosed), I know that there is a big difference between me "feeling anxious" (as in the normal emotion because, say, I have a job interview) and "anxiety being an issue" (because I have started to experience anxiety that is disproportionate to the situation and which is negatively affecting my day-to-day life). Problem is, for an increasing number of people those two scenarios are seen as the same when they really aren't.

I do think we somehow have been brought up to believe that we should be happy all the time, and any negative emotion means something is wrong.

On the whole it's a good thing that mental health issues are known about and acknowledged more, but with that comes the responsibility to manage these situations. I know what causes problems for me, and I work hard to mitigate/manage it. If it starts to spiral I know where to go to get further (clinical) help. I don't sit back and absolve myself of responsibility because "It's my mental health" as if that was a definitive end to the matter.

For anyone interested - Mental health vs. Mental illness:

wearewellbeing.co.uk/insights/the-difference-between-mental-health-and-mental-illness/