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AIBU?

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Original poster

Help! Who is in the wrong me or my boss!

134 replies

momofone18 · 08/08/2021 19:33

So. I need help. Very long post...

Scared to give all of the details as quite outing but necessary for context.

Worked for a company for 11 months. In that time 3 staff have left. Heard lots of stories about staff retention being generally awful but we are left with a team of 5.

2nd week of being with the company.. boss: oh you live by another colleague can you bring them into work and drop them home? Me eager to please says yes. I have done this every day that we are both in the office which is DRAINING, draining to talk, draining to not be able to call friends as I used to on my commute.

Due to Covid also, cleaner for the office was cancelled. Can we guess who took on the responsibility?

Grew really close with my team, love them so so much but couldn't help but feel the job wasn't for me. I couldn't focus and really didn't enjoy it. I find I am often the motivator of everyone with little input from my boss. She has no idea how her team feels at all.

I started the role on antidepressants and became determined that this would be the year I work on my MH for me and my family. I have been off medication for a number of months.

With this new clarity I decided to look for another job. In this time ANOTHER colleague hands in their notice. In doing so they were offered a pay rise, access to a pool car and to WFH.

I handed my notice in 3 weeks later to be told I am a disappointment for doing so. My reasons of family issues with childcare were null, and it wasn't a good time for my boss or the business. I have been told that despite my colleague being there longer and working 4 weeks notice. I have an 8 week notice and generally the conversation wasn't very pleasant. I left the room stating I would try and see what my new company would accommodate.

HERE IS MY ISSUE.

My contract does show a 2 month notice; for them to give me should they wish to terminate my contract. Further down it states that I am to give them one week.

Everyone I have spoken to says that clearly she is wrong but I don't want to leave leaving a sour taste, I am not a bad person and to say I am anxious about tomorrow's follow up would be an understatement. How do I comprise and how do I make this right? The sense of dread I have had all weekend is awful. I don't want to leave my team in limbo but this is a great opportunity!!

Help!

OP posts:
sylbunny · 08/08/2021 19:37

You owe them nothing. Politely but firmly point out what your contract says and say that you will agree to the additional 3 weeks (if you are happy to) and leave it at that. Follow up in writing by email saying the same thing and cc in HR if you have one.

Dishwashersaurous · 08/08/2021 19:38

You owe them nothing.

It's a job.

If your contract is clear then just follow that

GU24Mum · 08/08/2021 19:39

Sounds awful and that you're well out of it.

Re the notice, take a copy of your contract with the relevant parts and say that you were sure you'd read clause xxx to say that you need to give 1 week so could they show you which clause they mean....

If there are two different notice periods for you (ignore the employer one) and it's not that one is pre- probation and the other one after, then if there's confusion, contracts are supposed to be read in favour of the person who didn't write the contract ie you.

Good luck - still not a nice situation to be in.

Original poster
momofone18 · 08/08/2021 19:44

Thank you so much for your responses! I really need to grow a pair I know! I honestly feel ridiculous as normally I am the loudest person out there it's just the confrontation and the dreaded 'I'm disappointed in you' that I can't bear! I know I should accept it and move on but can't help but feel like it's been a waste of 11 months!

OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 08/08/2021 19:53

Contract says a week - leave after a week. She can fuck off with her 8 weeks. And might I suggest you read The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck before taking on a new job. Do not agree to do anything that is not directly related to your role, so that means no lifts for colleagues and no cleaning unless it's specified in your job description. Good luck with the new job.

SuzieTu · 08/08/2021 19:56

You work the notice in your contract, end of story. You are right to concentrate on your MH, and practice saying ‘no’ or even that good old MN phrase ‘that doesn’t work for me’.

MaMelon · 08/08/2021 19:57

@momofone18

Thank you so much for your responses! I really need to grow a pair I know! I honestly feel ridiculous as normally I am the loudest person out there it's just the confrontation and the dreaded 'I'm disappointed in you' that I can't bear! I know I should accept it and move on but can't help but feel like it's been a waste of 11 months!
It’s a job - it’s business, nothing more. They can be disappointed in you and you can be disappointed in them - disappointment goes both ways. Ultimately it’s not up to you to solve their staffing issues, that’s her job, it’s what she’s paid for.

If the contract says a week then give them a week’s notice and then leave.

Original poster
momofone18 · 08/08/2021 20:02

@SuzieTu

You work the notice in your contract, end of story. You are right to concentrate on your MH, and practice saying ‘no’ or even that good old MN phrase ‘that doesn’t work for me’.
Starting to wish I had you guys in the office with me for the convo and deffo like the phrase 'that doesn't work for me'. I feel like that is definitely something I should bloody say more!

I seem to talk about everything irrelevant and nothing pissing relevant! Here's hoping I can put my big girl pants on tomorrow 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 08/08/2021 20:03

You don’t owe them anything more than what the contract says. Yes it’s not great timing but that’s just the nature of running a business and managing staff - sometimes it all happens at once. If they’re even mildly savvy it’ll prompt them to reflect on why people don’t want to stay there and try to improve. But try not to feel guilty - if they had to sack you or make you redundant then they would do so. You have to look after yourself first.

Imnothereforthedrama · 08/08/2021 20:04

Agree with others week notice , put it in writing and hand it in tomorrow saying you will be leaving on such as such date as per contract . Finish your notice and leave . You owe them nothing this is a very short job in a working life .
It sounds a very toxic environment do not let them tell you otherwise, they are just shiting it now as no staff .

Elouera · 08/08/2021 20:08

I'm 99% sure you are working at my old company!!!

When you handed in your notice, didn't you state in there 'my last working day will be X Sep 2021?' Or ;as per my contract, I am giving my 7 days notice period as of x date?' How long ago did you hand your notice in? Did they request you stay 8 weeks, or they 'think' they contract is for 8 weeks notice?

lking679 · 08/08/2021 20:10

Bosses that make people who leave feel like crap are immature and rubbish. It can be disappointing when you have a good employee leave, especially if they’re not long in the job and recruitment is difficult, but that’s the nature of work!
Decide how long you’d like to work/help them out and say that’s what you’re willing to do and actually your contract states one week (point it out and take it with you)! I wouldn’t open the door for them to counter argue about the two months.
Just be calm, kind and pleasant and if they see their arse it says more about them than you!

MattHancocksSexTape · 08/08/2021 20:10

Don’t feel guilty for anything. They didn’t give a second thought for you when volunteering you to clean or to play taxi.

Original poster
momofone18 · 08/08/2021 20:12

I told her at the point of interviewing that I had MH issues as I had been through a breakdown (new baby, loss of family member and work stress) I was adamant that I would be honest it just feels like a kick in the teeth that she knows how I can struggle and still chooses to be a massive cow.

I am really grateful to you all! I think in my head all I have been thinking about is if I have read it wrong or how I can compromise!

Really don't want to come across like a wet lettuce!! 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
momofone18 · 08/08/2021 20:20

@Elouera

I'm 99% sure you are working at my old company!!!

When you handed in your notice, didn't you state in there 'my last working day will be X Sep 2021?' Or ;as per my contract, I am giving my 7 days notice period as of x date?' How long ago did you hand your notice in? Did they request you stay 8 weeks, or they 'think' they contract is for 8 weeks notice?

I originally signed an electronic contract and didn't have a copy as the site I signed on is sent straight back to the sender.

I asked on Friday for a copy of my contract to clarify. She showed me a copy of said contract on the screen and pointed to the two months.

On closer inspection the contract states: should we wish to terminate your contract we have to give you 2 months notice.

If you service is under six months and you wish to leave you do not have a notice period, if your service is over six months you need to provide one weeks notice.

I have a paper copy and been sent this electronically.

I started this job during the first lockdown and didn't really read or care about the contract as I was so desperate to secure a position after being made redundant from my job of 10 years.

I appreciate going forward I need to be more organised but I cannot see how I could have misunderstood this and it clearly states the week!

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 08/08/2021 20:25

Then one week it is!

MaMelon · 08/08/2021 20:26

Then you provide one week’s notice! They can’t develop a policy and then get antsy when their staff adhere to it! Grin

lanthanum · 08/08/2021 20:27

It's unusual for it not to be the same notice period both ways, which is probably why she pointed at the two months and didn't look further.

It's stated pretty clearly, so you just need to point out that there's another sentence below about the notice you need to give.

They may kick themselves about the wording of the contract, but that's their problem.

Lolabray · 08/08/2021 20:31

It’s a contract, it’s there in black and white, one weeks notice .. just don’t go back next week Grin as for your boss they are panicking as they can’t hold onto staff and no one to run it which is not your problem but theirs.

Been in a similar environment- you are doing the right thing by getting out.

PlanDeRaccordement · 08/08/2021 20:31

The contract is the gospel and if it says 1 week that is all you owe.
Personally, I’d hand in written notice to boss and HR clearly stating 1 week, and your last day by date. Then call GP and get a sick note for stress covering that 1 week and only go in to collect your things.

billy1966 · 08/08/2021 20:33

One week and do not entertain that awful woman for one minute.

Make no special effort for the ladt few days.

Clear your desk and get out.

You owe her and that awful company nothing.

Remember she is an absolute LIAR to have fed you 8 weeks notice.

An absolute LIAR.

Stay strong and mind yourself.

You owe them nothing.

Speakingofdinosaurs · 08/08/2021 20:35

You haven’t answered the question OP - what date did you hand your notice in & have you then in effect worked your weeks notice?

Let us know how it goes tomorrow - good luck.

JacquelineCarlyle · 08/08/2021 20:37

Good luck Op. Hope you can muster up the strength to speak up for yourself tomorrow. You need to prioritise your own mental welfare (& if the contract states 1 week, then that's definitely all you need to give).

QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 20:39

Wow.. what a vile piss taking company...

1 Week is it Lady ... Flowers

TillyTopper · 08/08/2021 20:40

Good luck for tomorrow OP! The sooner you are out of there the better! Be strong and stick up for yourself.

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