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Original poster

Help! Who is in the wrong me or my boss!

134 replies

momofone18 · 08/08/2021 19:33

So. I need help. Very long post...

Scared to give all of the details as quite outing but necessary for context.

Worked for a company for 11 months. In that time 3 staff have left. Heard lots of stories about staff retention being generally awful but we are left with a team of 5.

2nd week of being with the company.. boss: oh you live by another colleague can you bring them into work and drop them home? Me eager to please says yes. I have done this every day that we are both in the office which is DRAINING, draining to talk, draining to not be able to call friends as I used to on my commute.

Due to Covid also, cleaner for the office was cancelled. Can we guess who took on the responsibility?

Grew really close with my team, love them so so much but couldn't help but feel the job wasn't for me. I couldn't focus and really didn't enjoy it. I find I am often the motivator of everyone with little input from my boss. She has no idea how her team feels at all.

I started the role on antidepressants and became determined that this would be the year I work on my MH for me and my family. I have been off medication for a number of months.

With this new clarity I decided to look for another job. In this time ANOTHER colleague hands in their notice. In doing so they were offered a pay rise, access to a pool car and to WFH.

I handed my notice in 3 weeks later to be told I am a disappointment for doing so. My reasons of family issues with childcare were null, and it wasn't a good time for my boss or the business. I have been told that despite my colleague being there longer and working 4 weeks notice. I have an 8 week notice and generally the conversation wasn't very pleasant. I left the room stating I would try and see what my new company would accommodate.

HERE IS MY ISSUE.

My contract does show a 2 month notice; for them to give me should they wish to terminate my contract. Further down it states that I am to give them one week.

Everyone I have spoken to says that clearly she is wrong but I don't want to leave leaving a sour taste, I am not a bad person and to say I am anxious about tomorrow's follow up would be an understatement. How do I comprise and how do I make this right? The sense of dread I have had all weekend is awful. I don't want to leave my team in limbo but this is a great opportunity!!

Help!

OP posts:
Forestdweller11 · 08/08/2021 22:35

Re the image. I read it as after one month = 1 weeks notice. But tbh, no idea as to what it means when you've been there over one month, it's not particularly well written. I think the little table was supposed to cover both employer and employee notice periods and they stuck it in the wrong place. Which ultimately isn't your problem.

category12 · 08/08/2021 22:35

Oh no, take it all back, it's their notice to you. Sorry, as you were.

PanamaPattie · 08/08/2021 22:36

As I read it, the OP needs to give 2 months notice. She may only give a weeks notice if she has worked for one month. Read the contract again.

GroggyLegs · 08/08/2021 22:36

The only mention of notice period in the whole document is that one dodgy sentence shoehorned into the middle of a paragraph? I think that's an error on their part, but that's not your fault.

Good luck, sounds to me like you can leave the meeting with your head high tomorrow. Forget the guilt trip, you're free of the place come Friday!

FunMcCool · 08/08/2021 22:36

@AttaGirrrrl ah I see!

PizzaCrust · 08/08/2021 22:37

I agree with PPs. Don't feel one bit guilty about leaving.

I've experienced this when leaving a role to move onto better things. It just screams complete immaturity to me, in all honesty. Any decent manager would never have put you in that position in the first place (you're an employee not a fucking taxi driver or a cleaner for starters), so it's entirely on them that you've had enough and you're saying goodbye. Furthermore, a good manager would have spent time developing you in your role and helped you to progress, and ultimately want you to succeed. Throwing a hissy fit because you're leaving benefits absolutely no one.

I can understand from their point of view the frustration of a good employee leaving but no one is going to stay in one role for the rest of time, are they? People leave, they get promoted, they take a career break, they retire. Management are supposed to have plans in place for any of these instances happening.

It's on your manager and manager alone for-

  • not supporting you in your role so you would want to stay
  • not having plans in place for staff leaving (and with their track record they should have this plan in place more than any other manager I know seeing as everyone wants to bail out of the god-awful company)
  • making you do additional tasks that are entirely unrelated to the business and down to them being lazy and/or cheapskates

Give them the minimum notice required and walk out of there with your head held high. If it was a company who respected you, you liked working for and your new company was relaxed on when you started then it would be up to you whether you worked longer to help accomodate. Maybe you would want to, maybe you wouldn't. However, seeing as your boss has been nothing but an unprofessional and selfish asshole they'd be getting nothing more than a week from me.

Your boss can start in the bogs next week and play taxi driver as well as failing to manage a business. Honestly, in your position I'd be half tempted to leave them a leaving present of a pair of fucking marigolds. What a fucking moron.

Oh, and good luck in your new role! Honestly, on your last day you'll walk out of there and feel the weight lift from your shoulders. I left a toxic workplace recently and I couldn't have felt better the second I got into my car to leave. It's 100% the right decision and good on you for grasping this new opportunity with both hands.

category12 · 08/08/2021 22:38

I can understand why your manager is confused though - she may just have misread it rather than being an appalling cow. Or as well as being an appalling cow Grin,

billiebeeme · 08/08/2021 22:43

Put it in writing, as per my contract I give 1 weeks notice. Ur boss is an arse.

I had a company argue over my notice period while ok a temp role. I think they were shocked I only had to give 1 weeks notice. I just said no that's what's in the contract and my new employer need me to start ASAP. They weren't pleased but tough shit!

PizzaCrust · 08/08/2021 22:45

@category12

Usually I'd agree as the information is written terribly however seeing as they've had so many resignations recently I'm sure the manager is very aware of the details within the contract and is just trying to pull a fly one on OP. Most people would look at the document briefly, agree with their manager and just work it.

Or, of course, the manager is so utterly useless they really haven't got a clue. Which, seeing their behaviour and what their staff turnover rate is, it's entirely possible.

I think I'm going to stick my money on the miserable prick just trying to buy themselves time, though.

MushMonster · 08/08/2021 22:51

You do not compromise!
Get from your new employer the date they want you in, then work out if you want to work till then, or you want some time in between. You are obliged to one week. That is what the contract says.
I would try for 4 weeks if new employer is agreeable with this. For the colleagues more than anything. That gives them time to find a replacement.
Congratulations on your new job!
Just do what is best for you and your family!

phishy · 08/08/2021 22:58

@PanamaPattie

As I read it, the OP needs to give 2 months notice. She may only give a weeks notice if she has worked for one month. Read the contract again.
You need to read it again PanamaPattie. 😂
Frodogo · 08/08/2021 23:05

It's business. You should do what works for you. You worked hard while you were there, but so many colleagues leaving would indicate to me that this company has some problems. It's clearly not just you!

Personally, I'd be thoroughly disgusted if an employer tried the old parent "line" of "disappointed in you". Hmm Excuse me, but she's your boss, not your mum!

PanamaPattie · 08/08/2021 23:08

If the OP has worked for 11 months she needs to give 2 months notice. It's written in black and white. The 1 months notice only applies up to 6 months. During the first month, no notice is required. After 1 month and up to 6 months - 1 weeks notice is required. 6 months to a year is 2 months notice.

AttaGirrrrl · 08/08/2021 23:09

Read it again @PanamaPattie

No?

Read the thread then. She has to give a week.

QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 23:10

Good on you OP 🌸🎉

Stand your ground ☺️

JulesCobb · 08/08/2021 23:18

Why are so many people on here so very bad at reading!

phishy · 08/08/2021 23:22

@PanamaPattie

If the OP has worked for 11 months she needs to give 2 months notice. It's written in black and white. The 1 months notice only applies up to 6 months. During the first month, no notice is required. After 1 month and up to 6 months - 1 weeks notice is required. 6 months to a year is 2 months notice.
That’s the notice the employer has to give OP.

OP only has to give 1 week’s notice as she has been there longer than a year.

phishy · 08/08/2021 23:22

*longer than a month

Doorhandleghost · 08/08/2021 23:23

I’d email to her saying 1 week as per contract, copy in HR, and then just don’t go back after the - 1 week. She’s confirmed 1000% that you’re doing the right thing by moving on!

I’ve just changed jobs and my previous manager insisted on 8 weeks notice (civil service transfer, should be 4-8 weeks, 8 weeks in a pinch) and by the end of it she wished she hadn’t! I wasn’t causing trouble but it all just got really awkward - she had insisted as a way of throwing her weight around and there was no business reason. She also tried the good old you have to stay until I replace you. I think they aren’t bright enough to realise that if they just asked nicer you’d most likely be happy to stay a bit longer to help them out, within reason, as 1 week isn’t very long for a notice period really.

Good luck for the new job, don’t look back!

phishy · 08/08/2021 23:26

@Doorhandleghost i agree with a lot of what you say, but as they’re using OP as an unpaid cleaner and chauffeur, 1 week’s notice is more than enough. She needs to get out of there ASAP.

NameChange2PostThis · 08/08/2021 23:29

Bless you @momofone18 you’ve got your head in a spin. Your contract is clear. You have to give a week’s written notice. Did you do this on Friday or was it verbal? If you did, then your last day is this Friday. If you didn’t, you need to email right now, and then your last day is also Friday Grin

You don’t owe them anything.

But please please develop some boundaries. You are not employed as a taxi driver or cleaner but you’ve been doing those jobs for free. Why? Because you are clearly a people-pleaser. I guess that’s why it hurts that you feel undervalued by your boss. You would really benefit from therapy around setting firm boundaries. I suspect it might also help you in your career generally- I must say, your op is lengthy and full of irrelevant information. With clearer boundaries, you would see that the only question is about notice period - all your over-explaining is a distraction.

So, as per PPs you have nothing to discuss or debate with your boss. Just tell her ‘my last day is Friday, as per my contract. Let me know who you want me to hand my work across to. Byee.’

billy1966 · 08/08/2021 23:48

I agree with above.
Bung an fast email comfirming your resignation as of last friday, finishing next friday.

Please do get some help with your boundaries.

Allowing the privacy of your car to be used as a taxi for another staff member is unbelievably, not to mind being asked to clean.

Email now and go out sick if there is any guff.

You owe them nothing.

HollowTalk · 08/08/2021 23:54

I would tell her that I was very disappointed that I had to clean toilets in this job when there was nothing about that in the job description or told to you at the interview. I'd also say that I was very disappointed that she had told me to pick up and drop off another employee when it was out of my working hours. She has to accept some responsibility for all this.

TheWindRises · 09/08/2021 00:10

@PanamaPattie

If the OP has worked for 11 months she needs to give 2 months notice. It's written in black and white. The 1 months notice only applies up to 6 months. During the first month, no notice is required. After 1 month and up to 6 months - 1 weeks notice is required. 6 months to a year is 2 months notice.
Read the yellow highlighted bit!
TheWindRises · 09/08/2021 00:11

@Speakuptomakeyourselfheard

I would send her an email, tonight if that's possible. In it I would write:

As per my resignation letter handed to (her name) on Friday (date), I have checked my contract which states that (copy exactly as stated in the contract, the bit about the company has to give you 8 weeks notice, but you only have to give them 1 week) I am therefore writing to confirm that I will be leaving the company's employ on Friday 13th August.

If you can email it, not only do you have a paper trail which she can't refute in any way, but it also saves you having to do any explaining in person, as you will have already pointed out the situation in the email.

Good luck!

This is what you need to do @momofone18!