What's the worst thing someone did when you had a new baby?

[Cuddlyrottweiler]

Another thread reminded me of this, it's probably tame compared to some of yours though!

MIL called my DH in from another room and told him to take my newborn, crying baby off me and give him to her. After I'd refused several times, because I knew what he needed and couldn't do it. Luckily for our marriage he saw the look and my face and told her no.

When I had DD I had a horrendous time, had retained placenta which resulted in a huge bleed and I had to be rushed to have surgery.

The next 16 hours were basically me trying to stay awake to feed DD as she just wouldn't latch on. FINALLY did it at hour 16, then fell asleep but thought "when I wake up I want a cuddle with her that doesn't involve me trying to feed her as I haven't had a proper bonding cuddle" (I held her for 3-4 minutes after giving birth before the emergency button was pressed and she was taken off me).

Woke up to SIL holding her with my in laws clucking around her. They told me I looked like shit, then didn't speak once to me in their visit again. They last my baby round like she was a fucking parcel and I laid there crying thankfully my best friend was next to me and held my hand the whole time asking me if she I wanted her to make it stop. I said no to keep the peace but actually I didn't have the courage to say yes because it was a very vulnerable time and I felt so weak.

DD is now 9 and I've never gotten over that in laws got proper cuddles before I even did

My first child was about 1 week old, exclusively breastfed. Mother and father were round one afternoon when son was crying a lot. MIL managed to soothe him by rocking him until he fell asleep as I recovered from my c-section. Once the baby was quiet and mil was basking in the glory of managing to settle him, FIL piped up, ‘Ha,ha, the wean is happy now. He’s thinking that you’re just his food and now he’s with his real mummy’!?? I mean, WTAF? I still don’t understand!

Easily the most hurtful was my mum talking condescendingly over the top of me and telling me how I was doing it all wrong when I was explaining how I was working to overcome breastfeeding problems. Her advice wasn’t even correct and she only managed to exclusively breastfeed one of her babies. Well in keeping with her usual behaviour but it caught me off guard because I felt so vulnerable and had wrongly assumed her first grandchild would bring us closer together.

Most annoying was BIL and his gf ‘bringing us dinner’ when we got home after a traumatic few days in hospital but then sitting on our couch for three hours, ordering spicy takeaway that I couldn’t stomach and expecting to hold the new baby constantly even though I was establishing breastfeeding. At one stage BIL was taking up so much room on the couch that I was sitting on a stool. I ended up going to my bedroom and crying. OH should have asked them to leave. If I have another baby I’m banning visitors.

@goldierocks

Short walk to visit my parents when DS was 10 days old. I was recovering from an accident I'd had early in pregnancy, plus a third degree tear & sutures from the birth.

On the way home, at the top of a steep hill with an A road at the end of it, (ex) 'D'H gave the pram a big push and let go...the pram started rolling away at speed, with DS in it. I obviously ran after it, then burst into tears when I caught it (DS fast asleep).

Ex then screamed at me for making a scene and that it was my fault for not being able to take a joke.

I think I would have killed the ex. What an utter shit. Not surprised he is your ex.

My DD1 had to spend 4 days in SCBU due to low sugar levels after a difficult birth and me having pre-eclampsia. She had various unusual (to me) symptoms which I told my cousin when she called the ward the first day to ask me about DD. She then checked a library 'hospital edition pediatricians handbook' and told all my family that DD had cerebral palsy and/or cystic fibrosis but not to tell me as it would upset me. Cue all the family constantly asking all sorts of questions about dd's health for months and even years after. I finally found out 5 year later when she confessed. My DD is a perfectly healthy 26 year old.
My 3rd DS was born with missing toes on one foot and when I went to my first baby clinic at 2 weeks old and said he was born 4 weeks early the HV 'joked' that I "obviously hadn't finished him off properly'" I had already had PND with my other DCs and was feeling very vulnerable, went home and cried.

My DCs are adopted from overseas. When DC1 was a baby my cousin and his DP came over and she asked "how much it had cost".
They have since had a baby and she's in her late 40s (with a toddler) and I'm dying to ask in public if they used IVF and donor eggs...

My eldest sister didn't bother to meet my son until he was two and a half. Years, that is.

I was 16 and was constantly being called a bad mother from the moment DS1 was born and could do no right in my mother's and sisters eyes. Ds was emcs and colicky so I was trying to heal, extremely sleep deprived and had PND. My "d"m and sis wouldn't let me sleep. Dared to sleep past 7:30am and got woken to a punch to the face and screaming, wasn't allowed to nap during the day because "your a mum now" wasn't allowed to leave baby even to go to the toilet had to take him with me. DS was crying one night because of colic and my "d"m ran downstairs and punched me in the face whilst I was holding DS and screamed that I was a shit mum and she had more rights to him because she was him gm all I could do was cry and try to stop my bloody nose from dripping onto ds.
I'm 30 now and still have massive struggles with anxiety

Mum did try to be better but passed a few years back
I cut sis out years back
Ds is a happy 14 Yr old

My Parents visited for the first time to see DD when we were home after the birth. I had a number of internal and external stitches as DD was very big and I required cutting (there is probably a medical term, but it is what it is and you know what I mean).

Anyhow both my parents sat down and eventually asked for a cup of tea. Neither could get off their arses to put the kettle on or help in any way.

I passed Mum her GG and while the jug was on, took a photo. I still have it in DD's baby book, shows mum holding GG up between thumb and two fingers on both hands under GG armpits, with two fingers on each hand ''out in the air''.... the sort of thing you do when you pick up something you don't really want to touch...

The photo is priceless and totally explains the rest of her relationship with GG.

Sat in the Drs waiting room staring adoringly at my 6 week old new son a passing elderly lady said ‘Don’t you just want to put a pillow over their face when they cry’. I put it down to a touch of dementia and just ignored her!

FIL turned up unannounced one morning and let himself in (we had one of those front doors you can just walk in if it's unlocked). I was sat in my knickers and a vest top breastfeeding dd and I was mortified. I locked the door after that day.

@ImRhondaAndthesearentreal

A complete stranger kissed my newborn.

I didn't say anything to her, but when retelling the story I was told I was in the wrong for "making it something weird".

I just said I didn't like it, I hadn't made any suggestions about her motive.

Strangers have no right to kiss or touch another mother's baby without permission. The 'assailant' might have had an oral STD. Yuck. The mother has every right to be annoyed and challenge such uninvited behaviour by asserting, "Excuse me. I don't allow non-family to touch or kiss my child. I'm sure you understand as there are a lot of weirdos out there."

I know of a single mother who was confronted by the family of the baby's father. There came to her house and said they were here to collect the baby!

The father of the mother came out and made such a threat that they never tried that again.

Husband. Started mithering for sex. I had nearly died in childbirth.

So, so very minor compared to everyone else, but DH arrived a few hours late the following morning. He'd overslept as he was 'so tired' from where he hadn't had much sleep the previous day. Understandable, but I had 6 nights of broken antenatal ward sleep and labour (though I did get some sleep - thanks diamorphine!) itself to recover from. With a newborn!

The next morning was slightly unforgivable. He was late again. DD had wanted to be held all night long to the point where had I fallen asleep 3 times holding her. By morning I was desperate for a shower and for someone to take the child off me for a few moments. So why was he late? Well, partly because he'd overslept again, but mostly because he'd gone to get the car washed.... "So it would look nice in the going home pictures." He's not the most emotionally intelligent person as it is (if anything, I'm worse), but this was gob smackingly unthinking on a level he'd never attained before or since. Fortunately (for him) I was so happy at the prospect of a shower and a nap that I didn't tell him how furious I actually was.

I'm early weeks pregnant with DC2. It has already been made very clear that, in the event of a postnatal stay, history will not be repeating itself.

@AmmarettoSours your mum sounds really abusive. Was she always like that?
I hope your living in a better place now.

The midwives when DC1 was born! They were awful, made me feel like I was useless after have a very traumatic forceps birth!
I had my next 2 at home as the thought of going into hospital sent me into a panic

A few things. A friend of my DM told her oh what a shame, another boy, she must be disappointed, after the birth of my third son. I felt so firecely protective of him and never really forgave her. Then there was the midwife who took my first son off to the nursing station while I was asleep and gave him a bottle when she knew I was breastfeeding him. I was engorged when I woke up and couldn't get him latched on. That was the start of a breastfeeding nightmare which eventually led to PND and a breast abscess.
With my fourth baby I had a strep b infection in pregnancy and had IV antibiotics all over my notes. The midwives didn't read my notes untilmy husband asked about the antibiotics. They were trying to get a line in when I delivered DD. Thankfully she was fine.

I realise these are pretty minor compared to others experiences. Some of the stories on here are heartbreaking.

Shag a waitress and convince me he was out trying to kill himself?

Not sure that’s what you meant though…

@AmmarettoSours omg! I couldn't just read your post and leave it there!
Wow! What a horrid ordeal that must have been for you
Honestly you have my utmost respect as dealing with that and a newborn will have been incredibly tough 💐

@MontysMinions your MIL sounds amazing x

When DD was born we were struggling to get BF going. After a 49 hour labour, then forceps delivery, I still had a catheter in at 3am and DD was screaming the place down.

Feeling totally defeated I asked for a breast pump to see if she'd take milk a different way.

A Midwife brought me a pump which was in pieces, in a jug of Milton. I was supposed to know how to assemble one, without being able to move my legs, then pump milk, then try to feed DD. I just looked at it and broke my heart crying.

The lack of actual care astounded me. And the smell of Milton - I can't bare it to this day.

DSis having a bitch fit because I wouldn't let her visit all the time or have the baby.

Baby is a NICU baby & still has a birth injury we're receiving treatment for. It was a very traumatic birth and I'm still recovering over two months later. I'm also CEV and DSis' DS is mixing with big groups of other children in camps. She doesn't understand why I don't want them visiting or holding the baby (because of the injury... ) She's already visited, after inviting herself shortly after we got home. After I said I didn't want any visitors at all after the baby was born until we were ready. (Also had a bitch fit about this before the baby was born)

If you haven't been explicitly invited to visit a newborn, do not keep inviting yourself.

My DH has dual heritage. When I was pregnant with first DD, MIL asked if I was aware I could potentially have a black baby. When I explained I was familiar with genetics, she added ‘it doesn’t matter if it is, we’ll love it anyway’. DH’s sister lectured me about wearing flip flops in the house while carrying DD.