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Original poster

What's the worst thing someone did when you had a new baby?

886 replies

Cuddlyrottweiler · 08/08/2021 10:52

Another thread reminded me of this, it's probably tame compared to some of yours though!

MIL called my DH in from another room and told him to take my newborn, crying baby off me and give him to her. After I'd refused several times, because I knew what he needed and couldn't do it. Luckily for our marriage he saw the look and my face and told her no.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 08/08/2021 17:48

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MrsMiddleMother · 08/08/2021 17:49

I'm currently pregnant with ds2 and due in December, a colleague turned round and said aw I'd really hate a December birthday. Like well thanks for that, my rainbow baby doesn't really have a choice.

ClemDanFango · 08/08/2021 17:50

MIL told me how ugly she thought our newborn was. I mean yes ok they don’t often look amazing when brand new but who says that shit out loud? To the parents?!🤦🏻‍♀️

Musmerian · 08/08/2021 17:51

@Catra

My daughter was 14 weeks premature. It was a miracle she came out breathing. I was elated - the first person I called to share the news was my mum. The conversation went like this: Me: We've called her Matilda. Mum: Why? That's a dreadful name - it reminds me of Matilda from that book - she had such neglectful parents. Your father hates it too. You should have called her Isobel. At this point (my legs still in stirrups in the delivery room) I was lost for words. Mum continued to call DD "that baby" throughout her entire 95-day stay in neonatal intensive care.
My mother did this too. She lives abroad- I phoned her an hour after giving birth and the first thing she did was be rude about my name choice.
ToykotoLosAngeles · 08/08/2021 17:55

11am I went in for an induction and said to BOTH mothers that they take ages and we would be back in touch that night. 7.30pm, I'm about to push and trainee midwife says that MiL had RUNG THE WARD and asked us to let us know how things were going, i cahoots with my mum who was being ridiculous and "Thought I was dead." I don't know who I was crosser with, the midwife (could you not have waited 30 minutes to tell us) or MiL!

My cousin then had a 3-day induction and mum twigged that it's not like the 80s any more, and yes the NHS will leave you in labour for literal days to avoid a C-section.

worriedandannoyed · 08/08/2021 18:04

MIL was always obsessed about how much weight I'd put on with both pregnancies. Both times I actually lost weight and weighed less straight after having them than before I was pregnant!

When my second daughter was a week old she said wow you've managed to lose all that weight. I said well yes it was water retention...

Horrible woman

Tee20x · 08/08/2021 18:10

@ToykotoLosAngeles

11am I went in for an induction and said to BOTH mothers that they take ages and we would be back in touch that night. 7.30pm, I'm about to push and trainee midwife says that MiL had RUNG THE WARD and asked us to let us know how things were going, i cahoots with my mum who was being ridiculous and "Thought I was dead." I don't know who I was crosser with, the midwife (could you not have waited 30 minutes to tell us) or MiL!

My cousin then had a 3-day induction and mum twigged that it's not like the 80s any more, and yes the NHS will leave you in labour for literal days to avoid a C-section.

Are you me?! I couldn't believe my ears when the midwife came to tell me they'd had a phone call from my family member. Who even thinks that's a normal thing to do
tinkywinkyshandbag · 08/08/2021 18:11

The people I worked with had a collection to buy baby things for us. I was asked what we wanted and gave a very specific list, nothing fancy just some nice gender neutral bedding and such from Mothercare. The department secretary was given the job of shopping and went and blew the lot on some hideous, cheap, nasty fake Disney Winnie the Pooh stuff. I was so disappointed.

I also had lots of problems breastfeeding after a very long and difficult birth which left me exhausted and with partial paralysis in one foot. I was pumping and bottle feeding breastmik and was absolutely shattered. Mum came to stay and didn't really help, just made lots of comments about how messy the nursery was and how she was not getting a very good nights sleep.

tattychicken · 08/08/2021 18:11

@Barton10 I had exactly the same from my MIL, DD1 was only 8 weeks old and was constantly feeding, I was exhausted, sore, and unsure of myself. She commented" When you think about it, BF is actually rather selfish, I think you're only doing it so no one else can feed her."
I actually spluttered at her in rage "SELFISH? You think breastfeeding her is SELFISH??" and she had the decency to shut up. I actually love the woman, but we've had our moments over the years. 😁

ChocolateCakeYum · 08/08/2021 18:21

@Badgerstmary

When my mil saw ds1 for the 1st time she told me I needed to tape his ears to his head as they were sticking out. The 2nd time she saw him she said, oh I see you still haven’t taped his ears! Needless to say I never did tape his ears & they soon sorted themselves out.
Oh god that reminds me of something my mil said to me. On seeing a pick of ds for the first time her only comment to oh was “at least he doesn’t have sticking out ears, you’d have to tape them”. WTF is wrong with all of these people!
ChocolateCakeYum · 08/08/2021 18:22

Said to oh not said to me.

Isabelle70 · 08/08/2021 18:26

My ex MiL on visiting her GD the day she was born stood at the end of the bed and said to ex SiL, shame she wasn’t a boy.

Junipersky · 08/08/2021 18:26

My mil on meeting her beautiful newborn grandson for the first time.
"Oh. You can tell he's got it can't you!"
(My baby had been born with Down's Syndrome).

Peachee · 08/08/2021 18:26

When I went for my 6 week post birth check for me and DS1. The female GP scoffed in my face and gave me a lecture about how irresponsible I was being for choosing the natural method of contraception and tracking my ovulation.. everything was tickety boo with baby.. but it wasn’t.. he was admitted for a week in a children’s ward for urosepsis the day after.

Houseofvelour · 08/08/2021 18:27

I was in a café with my mum and my dd who was a week old. She'd fallen asleep and we were about to leave so I'd put her in her car seat and a lady came over, told me how cute my dd was and then tried to take her out of the car seat. Shed started to undo the straps when I stopped her.
She said "if you weren't here I would've just taken her".
I stood up and left immediately.

I was in shock at the time but looking back, I wish I'd reported her.

SeaHollyDaiz · 08/08/2021 18:27

The first and only time mil met ds she made a comment about what a shit world it is and people shouldn't bring children into it. There's me dealing with pnd in the middle of a pandemic. Cheers mil, there's something to think about there Hmm...

Rowofducks · 08/08/2021 18:28

When I gave birth to one of my children the midwife refused to let me hold them until they were dressed and I had a bath. I was going nuts as she dragged me out the room. So I had no skin to skin 😢. I’m still sad I missed out on that moment.

I also caught the same midwife lifting my top to try and bf baby while I was sleeping after I had explicitly said I didn’t want to bf (I have issues and when I tried with my others I had panic attacks) All these years later I wish I had put in a complaint about her.

wizzler · 08/08/2021 18:37

First visit from health visitor. I met her at the door with Dd in my arms and she said " you must be grandma" . I

MontysMinions · 08/08/2021 18:40

I'm so grateful I've had no family issues at all and my super PIL and DPs were hugely supportive, as was my DH

But I struggled to breastfeed and could feel myself going into a spiral of PND. I got anxious and had panic attacks every time my DS was brought near me

I reached out to several organisations via the phone for help and advice. I got lots of 'it's important to keep trying for attachment' and 'if you must use formula, don't use it to often" and 'can you at least express so your supply doesn't run down'.

Finally a HV came to see me, listened to me and said 'what do you want to do? Do you want to carry on? It's ok if you don't!'. I burst into tears. It was the first time anyone had asked what I wanted rather than ignoring my cries for help and focusing on how I could establish BF.

Wonkyspecs · 08/08/2021 18:40

My ex and his family. He brought me home from hospital at about 11am with our son. I had given birth in the early hours. Approximately 11:15 his sister, her husband, daughter and niece who lived with then rocked up and said let's go for pizza to celebrate Angry He left with them.....they rocked back up at about midnight that night....him bearly able to stand, the sister and her husband arguing...the daughter and niece fighting too! I took me and my son off to my room and left them to it........only for my EX partner saying the niece was staying with us for a month as his sister, and child were going to visit family abroad and the niece would have to stay with us......the husband couldn't be trusted!!!!!!.........I wish I'd have had the balls then that I do now..... my ex would have been wearing them!!!!!

Provencerose · 08/08/2021 18:40

Turned up with a takeaway 2 hours after we got back from hospital with DC1 (great- really thoughtful!) and proceeded to get pissed on our sofa and require a lift home!
It wouldn’t be so bad but I’m talking about a highly skilled health care professional
Working in obstetrics! Confused

littletinyboxes · 08/08/2021 18:41

When DC2 was only a few weeks old I had to go to hospital for emergency breast surgery. This was a really upsetting period for me- as well as worrying about my own health I felt bad about having to stop breastfeeding and was missing my new baby and older child. The morning after my surgery a nurse saw me expressing milk to relieve some pressure and throwing it down the sink. She quite abruptly told me there were premature babies in the hospital that needed breast milk and I should have been donating it. Which made me feel even shitter- despite the fact that there is no way the milk could have been donated as it would have been contaminated with blood etc from the huge wound in my breast.

emmaluggs · 08/08/2021 18:42

My MIL said to my 2 week old, are you crying because you look like your mummy don’t worry you’ll get used to it

OoglyMoogly · 08/08/2021 18:42

These are awful, there are some really nasty people out there! Flowers

FortniteBoysMum · 08/08/2021 18:43

My son was crying because he was teething. My mother took him out My arms and said "it's OK mummy's here now" needless to say I took him straight back and flipped at her. I lost my shit telling her she is his nan not his mother, his my child and I will do things how I see fit. She didn't like it but I would do it again in a heart beat.

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