It sounds like she rebels strongly against being "told"
Therefore you need to tell her without telling her.
And don't engage in arguments.
Don't tell her what to wear. If she wears a dress and no jumper on a cold day she gets cold.
Vide versa if she dresses for winter on a hot day.
If she spills drinks on her bedding she strips it for wash. If she cuts it it's cut up.
Only 2 choices for breakfast. "Cereal or toast". If she says "something else".
Just say the choice is cereal or toast and I'll sort it when you come and tell me what you want - then walk away.
Complete demand avoidance to this extreme is about control and often based around anxiety.
You cannot change the behaviour without Adressing the route cause .
You need to find what she gets out of destroying her stuff, arguing or doing things to push your buttons - then give her that positively.
Pick a battle at a time - start with breakfast. Then once that's stopped being a battle start with something else.
Ignore things like the shorts. As much as it goes against what your comfy with it's another thing she can do to get your attention. Often ignoring attention seeking behaviour is the route to it stopping. What's the point of it gets no reaction?
If she does things like cut her bedding or throw drinks on it "that's a shame for you. You'll have a wet bed this evening/ that may be uncomfortable to sleep on".
Let her make the choices to behave well because she doesn't like the consequences.
Right now if she destroys stuff she gets to choose new. Where's the deterrent in that?