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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?

157 replies

doggydance79 · 08/08/2021 03:28

New next door neighbours moved in a few months ago, with 3 kids, one lower primary and two preschool, nearly school age. Our houses are both set back from the road and the driveways are next to each other for a few car lengths before reaching the road. Our house is further up a little hill than theirs, so the driveway is much longer and fenced the rest of the way up until it opens out into the parking/garden area. Because of the angles of the driveways and houses, the kids are totally out of sight of their own home once past the first part of the driveway, with fences and gardens inbetween. The parents would know where they've gone, they are very loud. Although we have met and say hello, etc, we don't know them well.

From the start, they have been using the end of our driveway daily, positioning one car near the end on theirs, and leaving space to go up around it by using our driveway instead of moving it. Now, the 2 youngest kids have taken to running up and down our driveway, top to bottom. They will run past the living room windows and stop at the top to look in through the front door (which is open to get some fresh air in, most days). I've already spoken to one of them ( the other ran off when I appeared at the door!) but it still continues. In addition to not wanting strange kids running past our parked cars into the garden and peering into the house at random times, we have 2 very nervous rescue cats, who are being scared out of going into their own garden. (I don't know if they were mistreated previously, but even the postie walking to the door is enough to send them running, as is heavy rain on the roof!)

It seems strange to me that the parents think it's OK for their kids to regularly run up to a relative strangers front door and look inside, when it's in no way shared property. AIBU in wanting them to stop, or is this actually a thing that people think is okay?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 08/08/2021 03:36

This is in no way ok and you need to speak to the parents directly and tell them your property is off limits to their children. If one of them got hurt on your property, they could try and make you liable for their injuries.

DramaAlpaca · 08/08/2021 03:41

Yes, you need to speak to the parents and put a stop to it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2021 03:59

I’d speak to the parents and explain the children are frightening your cats. This will hopefully give a better reaction than telling them to keep their feral children off your land. Can you put a fence up?

cabingirl · 08/08/2021 04:05

You need a nice big fence all the way down and a gate - then there is no access to your driveway.

MrsBertBibby · 08/08/2021 04:28

We need a diagram to be sure.

Chunkymenrock · 08/08/2021 04:38

No, this is unacceptable and they need to be stopped. I agree about needing a diagram as I can't visualise the set up here.

Billybagpuss · 08/08/2021 04:46

So are they driving a second car over your driveway to get out?

I agree you need to say something to them Re kids and if they are using yours to drive over maybe consider completely fencing in.

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/08/2021 04:46

It definitely sounds like you need to expend the fence.

Plumtree391 · 08/08/2021 06:19

@Aquamarine1029

This is in no way ok and you need to speak to the parents directly and tell them your property is off limits to their children. If one of them got hurt on your property, they could try and make you liable for their injuries.
I thought the same.

Do they not have a back garden or yard? If so that is where they should be playing and not out the front; they are very young to be without adult supervision.

doggydance79 · 09/08/2021 00:00

Thanks guys.
Ha, I'd attach a diagram if someone could tell me how to do it :).
If it makes it any clearer, our concrete driveway goes up from the road, their brick driveway is right next to it at the road end, with no space between them for a fence, for a good few car lengths. So when have both cars parked on the drive, they can get the top car out without moving the bottom car by driving onto our side, and do it in reverse when parking. The driveways diverge further up the little hill. The fence is as far down as physically possible.

Yes, they do have a back garden, I'd agree that they shouldn't be playing out the front without supervision. I can't say for sure that's what's happening, as I can't see the front of their house front my front door - for all I know, the parents told the kids to play on the driveway because its safer than the road?

Anyway, now I'm reassured IANBU and a bad neighbour, I'll try harder to catch the parents and have a word! (We're in lockdown atm so I want to catch them out in the garden rather than go knocking.)

OP posts:
OliviaNewtAndJohn · 09/08/2021 00:07

I’d speak to the parents about the danger of you driving out and small children darting in and out of your driveway. An accident could easily happen.

PrincessNutella · 09/08/2021 00:59

It sounds as if you could not see the children and accidentally drive over them, so you definitely have a good reason for them to listen to you!

Megan2018 · 09/08/2021 01:15

I’d start leaving your cars on the lower part of your driveway so they can’t drive over it.
I’m afraid the fact that the adults will drive on your driveway without realising it’s not on, means they are willingly raising equally awful children and probably think the children can go wherever they like.
I definitely wouldn’t mention your cats.

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 09/08/2021 01:16

Could you put a few plant pots on your side where they drive over
They are CF

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 09/08/2021 01:16

talk to the parents, put emphasis on safety issue intead of kids being annoying, which I'd find so hard to not bring up

doggydance79 · 09/08/2021 03:50

Ha, got to agree with the kids being annoying. Thats a very good point though, there definitely would be a chance of me not seeing them running up the drive as I set off driving, as our cars are parked at right angles to the drive itself and the view would be blocked by fence until I was on the driveway proper. I'm sure that will appeal to them rather than the well being of the cats.

I'm not sure there's space to put anything on the driveway between the two, they literally butt up to each other on that last stretch, but I may think on that if it continues. Will def get the message across in a very obvious pass agg way Grin

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 09/08/2021 13:03

If your drive is wide enough, you could simply put some troughs with tall plants in along the edge. With or without postman-sized spaces.

Horst · 09/08/2021 13:07

A fence company would be able to do it. It would just be on your side butting up. Asking as it leaves you enough space to still drive etc it would be fine as on your land.

Herja · 09/08/2021 13:12

Chain link fence for the last bit if no space for panels or planters? I would not be happy about this. I'd talk to them first, but if they didn't keep to their own drive, I'd be finding a way to make the boundary very clear and telling the kids to go back every time.

EvilPea · 09/08/2021 13:14

I second tall planters.
B and q had some good ones last time I was in there.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 09/08/2021 13:14

@doggydance79

I have to say I'm shocked at the lack of diagrams that includes footprints or where EXACTLY they are running.

😉

SingingInTheShithouse · 09/08/2021 13:31

Yeah, not on at all, not by any stretch of the imagination. You need to nip this I the bud PDQ & I'd personally tart as I mean to go on & not be overly nice about it as they are clearly CFs. I'd be taking a copy of the boundary lines diagram around to them & asking that they supervise better & keep the kids of your garden

SingingInTheShithouse · 09/08/2021 13:32

Off your garden 🤦‍♀️

doggydance79 · 09/08/2021 14:38

Just for you @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba, not my best work, but I think it gets the details across. Also, cba with footprints, so you'll have to do with arrows.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?
OP posts:
doggydance79 · 09/08/2021 14:41

I know it's not to scale, but as you can see, both driveways are butting up to each other - no space to put foundation posts for a fence on the lower half, or any planters either, sadly.

OP posts: