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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?

157 replies

doggydance79 · 08/08/2021 03:28

New next door neighbours moved in a few months ago, with 3 kids, one lower primary and two preschool, nearly school age. Our houses are both set back from the road and the driveways are next to each other for a few car lengths before reaching the road. Our house is further up a little hill than theirs, so the driveway is much longer and fenced the rest of the way up until it opens out into the parking/garden area. Because of the angles of the driveways and houses, the kids are totally out of sight of their own home once past the first part of the driveway, with fences and gardens inbetween. The parents would know where they've gone, they are very loud. Although we have met and say hello, etc, we don't know them well.

From the start, they have been using the end of our driveway daily, positioning one car near the end on theirs, and leaving space to go up around it by using our driveway instead of moving it. Now, the 2 youngest kids have taken to running up and down our driveway, top to bottom. They will run past the living room windows and stop at the top to look in through the front door (which is open to get some fresh air in, most days). I've already spoken to one of them ( the other ran off when I appeared at the door!) but it still continues. In addition to not wanting strange kids running past our parked cars into the garden and peering into the house at random times, we have 2 very nervous rescue cats, who are being scared out of going into their own garden. (I don't know if they were mistreated previously, but even the postie walking to the door is enough to send them running, as is heavy rain on the roof!)

It seems strange to me that the parents think it's OK for their kids to regularly run up to a relative strangers front door and look inside, when it's in no way shared property. AIBU in wanting them to stop, or is this actually a thing that people think is okay?

OP posts:
Bakewellisntjustacake · 09/08/2021 14:43

@doggydance79 woah! That is so unacceptable!!

herbaceous · 09/08/2021 14:45

I have no advice (live in a terrace), but applaud your excellent diagram.

leafinthewind · 09/08/2021 14:46

Just came by to say that's a great diagram!

Anoisagusaris · 09/08/2021 14:47

Where does your drive start? Is it where the arrows start?

ladycarlotta · 09/08/2021 14:56

quality diagram! And I don't know why the parents are even comfortable with their small kids vanishing off onto what's clearly someone else's property. How do they know you are OK people? How do they know there are no dangers on your property? That's even aside from general politeness. You need to talk to them asap.

Sssloou · 09/08/2021 14:58

How do you know that they drive on your drive - can you see them do that from your house?

I would tell them not to drive on your drive - you don’t need to explain if you don’t want to but if needed - wear and tear, accident risk, insurance liability, trespass - or it’s private - keep off my property.

The DCs are well OOO - it’s dangerous.

Just speak calmly and simply face to face.

doggydance79 · 09/08/2021 15:02

Thanks v much @herbaceous @leafinthewind :)

@Anoisagusaris My drive starts at the road, as does theirs. Theirs no shared driveway, they are of completely different materials, so no mistaking whose is whose.

The red arrows show where (I assume) the kids are starting from. Dunno though, they might be running all the way from the road. They definitely run up to the front door and look inside though.

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 09/08/2021 15:03

Excellent diagram.

Is there room for a railway sleeper on the boundary between the drives? Or just a single line of raised bricks or narrow pebbles?

Those kids have no business on your property.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 09/08/2021 15:03

Given the diagram, I would ignore the parking on the bottom bit and reversing over your section.
I would however wack a gate across the first bit of your drive to stop the kids running up your drive with some nice sharp points.

User135792468 · 09/08/2021 15:07

I don’t think I could get worked up about the driving over your part of the drive as it doesn’t inconvenience you at all. I’d say that is really no big deal and an odd thing to be annoyed about. However, the children running up your drive is not at all okay. I would speak to the parents and make clear that your cats are scared, you like to leave your door open and you don’t want any accidents.

cloudysummerday · 09/08/2021 15:07

You obv shouldn't have to, but you could put a gate on your driveway, where the driveways diverge

Janaih · 09/08/2021 15:08

Excellent diagram. Are you a teacher? You have teacher writing.

doggydance79 · 09/08/2021 15:09

No, I don't know why parents would be comfortable with their kids disappearing around a corner on someone else's property either. Unless they don't know, and that's pretty poor in itself.

I know that they drive on my drive because I've seen them do it. Funnily enough, I had to wait for the guy to move off my driveway at the open house before it sold. He was standing on it and gesturing down my side, in convo with some older guy. Should have seen it coming.

Thanks for that link @pawpawpaw. I don't know if it would be stable enough. It's on a slope, with nothing to attach to at the bottom, and would have to be quite long. Good thinking though.

OP posts:
Tlollj · 09/08/2021 15:11

Excellent diagram. I was going to say continue the fence down to the road. But a gate seems like a good idea.

Watchingyou2sleezes · 09/08/2021 15:18

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Given the diagram, I would ignore the parking on the bottom bit and reversing over your section. I would however wack a gate across the first bit of your drive to stop the kids running up your drive with some nice sharp points.
By quite an inconvenience if her drive way starts crumbling at the edges where they drive over onto their own.

I wouldn't stand for any of it myself.

MarchingOnTogether · 09/08/2021 15:21

I'd definitely invest in a gate, ideally at the end of the fence! It won't stop them driving over your driveway to get out but it would stop the children running up to your house!

Livinthedream84 · 09/08/2021 15:23

How do the parents know you are not weirdos? I’d be scared people I don’t know might invite my children in if I can’t see them. They are very young to be out of sight.

I’d certainly have a word with the neighbours op and stress you do not want them to hurt themselves on your properly and suggest they keep them down in their own garden.

Dilbertian · 09/08/2021 15:24

Quite. If your driveways are made of two different materials laid at different times, you could find that the edges eventually crumble after some years of being driven over. Anyway, if there's boo right off access over your land, what gives the neighbour the right to use it? You need some sort of undrive-overable edge to your drive. Whose is the land on the other side of your driveway?

godmum56 · 09/08/2021 15:26

yanbu. I like the idea of narrow planters....easy to move when you need to and will stop the encroachment. I'd be careful about the driving over....to me the parents sound like CF's in training and will take a mile if you let them.

DancingInTheGarden · 09/08/2021 15:33

Excellent diagram.
I would start by going and talking to them - tell them you want their children to keep off your drive. The whole driveway. State safety etc.

I don't know how bothered I would be about them driving on your driveway. If you hate it - tell them to stop.

You could also start parking your car at the bottom of your driveway occasionally , just before the road, to get them out of the habit.

GU24Mum · 09/08/2021 15:37

Yes, top quality diagram!

You've got two different problems so I'd work out which one you want to try to solve now rather than go in with both. Probably easier to say that you're a bit worried about the children and try to sort that one first.

Re the drive, it doesn't make it the right thing for them to do........ but if they have both cars on their drive how they should be parked - does that mean that they'd have to move one off the drive to get the other one out?

junebirthdaygirl · 09/08/2021 15:42

Looking at where your cars are parked you could easily reverse over one of their children moving out. That is so dangerous and the parents are extremely neglectful not noticing that. I would definitely stress that to them. Every time you get into your car you will be nervous one of them is right there.
I would make no apology to parents for insisting they stop.
It's annoying about the beginning of your drive. Could you say..l think it's best if we both stick to our own drives so then the children are clear what is yours and what is mine.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 09/08/2021 15:57

My friend had something very similar to the bottom end of the drive. Their house was where your garage is and parking was in front of their house.

They ended up putting in a low wall at the edge of their drive where it butted up against the neighbour's drive. I think it was "half brick" ie only the width of a brick not the length of a brick so it took very little off the width of their drive so driving up the drive was fine. It was a low wall and they put a solar light on the end so it was visible plus reflective tape.

It was done to stop their neighbour constantly driving over their drive and also parking on that bottom end straddling both drives meaning my friend kept getting blocked in. The final straw that led to it was when their car leaked oil onto my friend's drive and her Dh lost it. He phoned a builder that day.

Re the children, you need to tell the parents they are coming up to your front door. It is rude. It is your drive not a playground.

PizzaPiePizzaPie · 09/08/2021 16:03

I’d call a fencer and see what they can do. I’m sure they could put up a low fence and I would be tempted to put up a gate at the same time.
It will be causing wear along the joint if they are driving over it. The advantages of a gate is if they ask just say ‘security’.