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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?

157 replies

doggydance79 · 08/08/2021 03:28

New next door neighbours moved in a few months ago, with 3 kids, one lower primary and two preschool, nearly school age. Our houses are both set back from the road and the driveways are next to each other for a few car lengths before reaching the road. Our house is further up a little hill than theirs, so the driveway is much longer and fenced the rest of the way up until it opens out into the parking/garden area. Because of the angles of the driveways and houses, the kids are totally out of sight of their own home once past the first part of the driveway, with fences and gardens inbetween. The parents would know where they've gone, they are very loud. Although we have met and say hello, etc, we don't know them well.

From the start, they have been using the end of our driveway daily, positioning one car near the end on theirs, and leaving space to go up around it by using our driveway instead of moving it. Now, the 2 youngest kids have taken to running up and down our driveway, top to bottom. They will run past the living room windows and stop at the top to look in through the front door (which is open to get some fresh air in, most days). I've already spoken to one of them ( the other ran off when I appeared at the door!) but it still continues. In addition to not wanting strange kids running past our parked cars into the garden and peering into the house at random times, we have 2 very nervous rescue cats, who are being scared out of going into their own garden. (I don't know if they were mistreated previously, but even the postie walking to the door is enough to send them running, as is heavy rain on the roof!)

It seems strange to me that the parents think it's OK for their kids to regularly run up to a relative strangers front door and look inside, when it's in no way shared property. AIBU in wanting them to stop, or is this actually a thing that people think is okay?

OP posts:
OliviaNewtAndJohn · 10/08/2021 17:34

@NumberTheory

I've not been that fussed about them using the bottom of the drive to manoeuvre around their lower parked car. As long as their loose bricks don't damage the edges of our concrete it shouldn't make any odds (and they get out of the way when I want to go up own driveway!).

The issue with letting this continue is that if it goes on for long enough they can gain a right of way over your land. Then you (and whoever you sell to) will be legally obliged to maintain their access regardless of what you want to do with your own property.

I believe you don't have to stop them using it to protect yourself from this, you can create a contract so that they rent the right for a nominal fee, that way a common law right can't be claimed later and you can stop their access by ending the contract. But you probably need real legal advice to do it properly.

Yes, and if you put down sleepers or planters just inside ‘your’ drive line, the children can then be told ‘that’s the border - you have to stay your side of the border.’
WetBench · 10/08/2021 17:37

Just to say, beautiful diagram!

LdeS · 10/08/2021 17:45

fab diagram doggydance79

what is it with people who think they can just do what they want?! Confused

mrbreezeet1 · 10/08/2021 17:56

No!
They are a PITA!

mrbreezeet1 · 10/08/2021 18:02

Yes!
Tell them it's scaring the poor cats#

pollymere · 10/08/2021 18:23

Definitely consider some sort of boundary marker and a gate. A gate would also stop random people walking up it. You need to sort this out before the kids start claiming your garden.

Chocolatehamper · 10/08/2021 18:24

@Disfordarkchocolate

I think if you add a gate where the two drives meet they will just take over that part of your drive.
Exactly this!

Why should you have to fence off part of your drive to stop the CF kids and their parents using what is yours?!

fussyhousewife · 10/08/2021 18:58

Might be a bit of a nuisance for you but I would gate off the top - carry on from the fance even if you do not attach (could be issue if it is theirs) A set of gates would be your best bet if you cannot get them to stop abusing your space.

Unsure33 · 10/08/2021 19:24

do you own the house ? And the drive is yours ? then technically they are trespassing ?

keep that one in reserve

Boysnme · 10/08/2021 19:34

[quote Disfordarkchocolate]@doggydance79 you need to see the fence in the 'passive aggressive' fence thread. It's perfect for your needs.[/quote]
I really want to read this one! Do you happen to have a link?

StoneofDestiny · 10/08/2021 19:39

Tell the parents you've had a couple of near misses with their kids and your cats are suffering when they peer through your door, therefore they need to keep their kids away

Toomuchtrouble4me · 10/08/2021 20:04

I always swing into my neighbours drive to get a good angle to get into mine, she does the same, that’s not an issue imo.
The kids playing in your drive is not ok. Hopefully the novelty will wear off. No matter how you tell the parents they will probably be defensive so do make it clear that they come right up to your door.
Good luck.

KateRose · 10/08/2021 20:24

Definitely put some sort of chain by first set of arrows if not install a gate. Privacy and danger issues, not to mention trespass.

a1poshpaws · 10/08/2021 20:34

Total sympathy here. I can't offer any better advice than other people have already given you, but I know I absolutely couldn't stand to have random kids on my property .... it's not so much that I'm a surly b*tch; I just don't enjoy being around any but a select few kids and adults, and my home is my and my animals' refuge. (I'm spitting on your cats' behalf by the way!)

MadeForThis · 10/08/2021 20:51

Cattle grid.

AdobeWanKenobi · 10/08/2021 22:17

I’d hide behind the open door and then bellow “go away!” When they approached but I’m a curmudgeon.

BoredZelda · 10/08/2021 22:40

That is a pretty impressive diagram!

I’d be putting a gate up, where the fence ends. I wouldn’t be too precious about them driving over the bottom bit though.

custardcreme77 · 11/08/2021 09:18

What about wrought iron fence panels?Narrow and take up less space.

custardcreme77 · 11/08/2021 09:28

...and I would be aggrieved that the neighbour’s choose to drive across your property. You are not paying a mortgage, community tax and maintenance costs just so the neighbour can avoid being inconvenienced by having to move their cars around. They knew the set up when they bought the property.

ColettesEarrings · 11/08/2021 09:57

Yep, wrought iron fencing or railings. Something like this so the way down. Could be v expensive though,depending on how much you need.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?
AudacityBaby · 11/08/2021 10:08

I sympathise so much with this. My neighbour, on his moving in day, asked if he could park his car in my space - I assumed because the moving van was in his. He still uses my space over a year on, and his other car is in his space.

We have a pathway that runs across the front of all of the houses, as well, and my other neighbour's children spend a fair amount of their time running around peering into everyone's front windows and kicking balls around near the cars and house-fronts. Drives me absolutely mad.

In short, I hate my neighbours. Grin

YANBU, following for interest and fingers crossed for you!

billy1966 · 11/08/2021 10:29

@AudacityBaby

I sympathise so much with this. My neighbour, on his moving in day, asked if he could park his car in my space - I assumed because the moving van was in his. He still uses my space over a year on, and his other car is in his space.

We have a pathway that runs across the front of all of the houses, as well, and my other neighbour's children spend a fair amount of their time running around peering into everyone's front windows and kicking balls around near the cars and house-fronts. Drives me absolutely mad.

In short, I hate my neighbours. Grin

YANBU, following for interest and fingers crossed for you!

Why on earth would you allow him to do that?
pinkyredrose · 11/08/2021 10:35

Why didn't you ask the neighbours to keep thier kids off your property the first time it happened? Do you have problems standing up for yourself?

AudacityBaby · 11/08/2021 11:36

@billy1966 Boundary issues (raised by alcoholics). I'm working on it.

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