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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?

157 replies

doggydance79 · 08/08/2021 03:28

New next door neighbours moved in a few months ago, with 3 kids, one lower primary and two preschool, nearly school age. Our houses are both set back from the road and the driveways are next to each other for a few car lengths before reaching the road. Our house is further up a little hill than theirs, so the driveway is much longer and fenced the rest of the way up until it opens out into the parking/garden area. Because of the angles of the driveways and houses, the kids are totally out of sight of their own home once past the first part of the driveway, with fences and gardens inbetween. The parents would know where they've gone, they are very loud. Although we have met and say hello, etc, we don't know them well.

From the start, they have been using the end of our driveway daily, positioning one car near the end on theirs, and leaving space to go up around it by using our driveway instead of moving it. Now, the 2 youngest kids have taken to running up and down our driveway, top to bottom. They will run past the living room windows and stop at the top to look in through the front door (which is open to get some fresh air in, most days). I've already spoken to one of them ( the other ran off when I appeared at the door!) but it still continues. In addition to not wanting strange kids running past our parked cars into the garden and peering into the house at random times, we have 2 very nervous rescue cats, who are being scared out of going into their own garden. (I don't know if they were mistreated previously, but even the postie walking to the door is enough to send them running, as is heavy rain on the roof!)

It seems strange to me that the parents think it's OK for their kids to regularly run up to a relative strangers front door and look inside, when it's in no way shared property. AIBU in wanting them to stop, or is this actually a thing that people think is okay?

OP posts:
007Stocko · 11/08/2021 11:41

@doggydance79

Just for you *@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba*, not my best work, but I think it gets the details across. Also, cba with footprints, so you'll have to do with arrows.
Excellent drawing - well done Smile
bellabasset · 11/08/2021 12:46

I'd put a gate across, if it's wide enough and you don't garage your vehicles I might just park them there by the gate. Put a ring door bell there, quite reasonable if you can't see people coming up your drive.

Keep the cats safe as well.

billy1966 · 11/08/2021 13:01

[quote AudacityBaby]@billy1966 Boundary issues (raised by alcoholics). I'm working on it.[/quote]
Best of luck.Flowers

Legoninjago1 · 11/08/2021 13:11

Yanbu and it needs nipping in the bud, as the problem with neighbours like these, is that if you give an inch, they'll probably take a mile.

gogohm · 11/08/2021 13:21

I would be tempted to gate where they separate, for security as much as anything

Zubin60 · 11/08/2021 13:24

I would be wary of talking directly to the children. I think approach with caution, as you already have several clues loud and clear as to the type of people they are. If challenged even with the utmost politeness, certain types of people will go on the attack. Be very careful. Said with the trauma of someone who once had a neighbour from hell.

Zubin60 · 11/08/2021 13:26

Cont. That certainly does not mean don't deal with the issue, you must and very firmly, just be wise as a serpent innocent as a dove. These things can escalate.

LdeS · 11/08/2021 13:30

@Zubin60

Cont. That certainly does not mean don't deal with the issue, you must and very firmly, just be wise as a serpent innocent as a dove. These things can escalate.
be wise as a serpent innocent as a dove Smile
Zubin60 · 11/08/2021 13:31

I meant to add, KEEP WRITTEN RECORDS OF EVERYTHING. So every time you see kids on your property, every time they drive their car on your property, every time cats are scared etc. If it escalates you will need this. Ultimately, with boundary neighbour problem council and citizen advice can help.
Who knows, they might just be ignorant, and once you ask them, there'll be no more problems.

1forAll74 · 11/08/2021 14:00

Well basically, the parents do need to be told about your concerns, if they are the type to not be aware of what is going on outside, with their children, etc.. The children do have to be told by there parents about what they do outside, they sound old enough to understand right from wrong hopefully.

doggydance79 · 11/08/2021 14:04

@numbertheory that's a bit worrying. Even more reason to nip it in the bud now!
@unsure33 yes, we own the property, so I guess the kids are trespassing. I know kids of that age a nosy, but coming up a (secluded) hill for a nose around is a bit much.
@disfordarkchocolate yeah, gave me a laugh!
@audacitybaby wow, that's one CF! Sorry your neighbours are such arses!
@pinkyredrose I told the kids, and didn't catch them quick enough the next time. Parents weren't in evidence and I wasn't going to go charging round like a nutter, thanks. I've already said I'll catch them when I see them. Thx for being insulting though.Smile
@zubin60 thanks for the caution, I've had crazy neighbours before too - very unpleasant, so I sympathise. These ones seemed OK enough on the few short occasions I've seen them so far, so hopefully if I play up the safety aspect they'll be fine.

Still haven't seen them around yet, closest I've got is waving from the top of the drive as they went off in the car.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 11/08/2021 14:06

The kids playing is not ok, but I am struggling to see why you would care that they drive over your drive for a few seconds daily. It’s just petty , and seems just like it’s the principal.

Mainsanddessertsonly · 11/08/2021 14:14

Indeed we do Smile

pinkyredrose · 11/08/2021 14:15

How on earth was I insulting? It was a simple question, there was no animosity directed at you.

Smile
Mainsanddessertsonly · 11/08/2021 14:15

… need a diagram, I mean.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 11/08/2021 14:20

@Mainsanddessertsonly

… need a diagram, I mean.
@Mainsanddessertsonly.

🙄
have you actually bothered to read OP's posts?
There's a beautiful diagram.

MrsBertBibby · 11/08/2021 14:25

How on earth was I insulting? It was a simple question, there was no animosity directed at you.

OP is only standing up for herself, like how you rudely suggested she couldn't.

pinkyredrose · 11/08/2021 14:28

OP is only standing up for herself, like how you rudely suggested she couldn't

Rudely suggested? Omg it was just a question, no accusations at all!!

ApolloandDaphne · 11/08/2021 14:29

I have a metal gate half way up my drive. It has been brilliant in stopping people wandering up our drive and ending up in our garden in the mistaken belief that we are some sort of public park.

Mainsanddessertsonly · 11/08/2021 14:31

So I’ve just seen; my bad.

doggydance79 · 11/08/2021 14:33

@MrsBertBibby Grin
@MyDcAreMarvel ...already said I wasn't fussed....
@pinkyredrose "Do you have a problem standing up for yourself?" seemed a bit rude, given that I'd already said I'd have a word. Apology accepted though, if it wasn't intended this way Smile

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 11/08/2021 14:34

Thank you.

Mainsanddessertsonly · 11/08/2021 14:35

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba
Just seen the diagram.
New to this and thought I was adding on to the last bit of the convo at that point. My bad.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 11/08/2021 14:42

sorry.
I should've just said there was one without eyerolling.

MrsBertBibby · 11/08/2021 14:43

You may not have meant it rudely, but it certainly struck me as rude. And, it seems also, OP.

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