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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?

157 replies

doggydance79 · 08/08/2021 03:28

New next door neighbours moved in a few months ago, with 3 kids, one lower primary and two preschool, nearly school age. Our houses are both set back from the road and the driveways are next to each other for a few car lengths before reaching the road. Our house is further up a little hill than theirs, so the driveway is much longer and fenced the rest of the way up until it opens out into the parking/garden area. Because of the angles of the driveways and houses, the kids are totally out of sight of their own home once past the first part of the driveway, with fences and gardens inbetween. The parents would know where they've gone, they are very loud. Although we have met and say hello, etc, we don't know them well.

From the start, they have been using the end of our driveway daily, positioning one car near the end on theirs, and leaving space to go up around it by using our driveway instead of moving it. Now, the 2 youngest kids have taken to running up and down our driveway, top to bottom. They will run past the living room windows and stop at the top to look in through the front door (which is open to get some fresh air in, most days). I've already spoken to one of them ( the other ran off when I appeared at the door!) but it still continues. In addition to not wanting strange kids running past our parked cars into the garden and peering into the house at random times, we have 2 very nervous rescue cats, who are being scared out of going into their own garden. (I don't know if they were mistreated previously, but even the postie walking to the door is enough to send them running, as is heavy rain on the roof!)

It seems strange to me that the parents think it's OK for their kids to regularly run up to a relative strangers front door and look inside, when it's in no way shared property. AIBU in wanting them to stop, or is this actually a thing that people think is okay?

OP posts:
OublietteBravo · 09/08/2021 16:11

Excellent diagram OP - truly a thing of beauty!

Can you install a gate across the end of your driveway where it meets the road? No point in them manoeuvring onto your land if they can’t exit the end of the drive. You’d only need a post between the two drives and not a whole fence.

godmum56 · 09/08/2021 16:12

@PizzaPiePizzaPie

I’d call a fencer and see what they can do. I’m sure they could put up a low fence and I would be tempted to put up a gate at the same time. It will be causing wear along the joint if they are driving over it. The advantages of a gate is if they ask just say ‘security’.
why say anything? I don't tell my (very nice) neighbours when i am going to make changes to the front of my house, I just do it.
2bazookas · 09/08/2021 16:15

You and DP need to take off all your clothes , pose nekkid by the windows/open door and wave to the kids.

Soon as they tell their parents, you won't be seeing the kids again.

RickJames · 09/08/2021 16:19

Beautiful diagram Smile

Yeah, the kids part is so out of order. Stamp on that quickly. I'm not sure about the turning on your drive- its cheeky and would annoy me but I'd wonder how to phrase it without sounding petty.

Easy to say that you run the risk of squishing their little darlings and its also upsetting your rescue cats.

EvilPea · 09/08/2021 16:19

Looking at your diagram I would do a gate.
I’ve seen some nice pallet gates - pallets on the side, lockable wheels on the bottom, plants in the nooks, sound terrible, but looked great. Could be an immediate but temporary measure until you sort something out

RandomMess · 09/08/2021 16:23

Do you own the grass alongside your side of the drive marked "up hill".

Honestly I would put a few planters on your drive to stop them driving across yours.

I suppose first port of call you could speak them both to using your drive and the DC playing on your property as being rude and unwelcome.

LookItsMeAgain · 09/08/2021 16:23

There must be a way to be able to install some sort of fence, or structure even a narrow bed of about 6-10 inches wide but as long as is necessary might be enough to install some bushes that will grow fast and delineate where your property and theirs begins and ends.

Blossomtoes · 09/08/2021 16:28

The driving over the driveway wouldn’t bother me in the slightest unless it’s made of sugar. The kids are a different matter and I’d be having a polite word.

LakieLady · 09/08/2021 16:40

Have you tried asking them to stay in their own garden and not come into yours? I'd certainly try that first. I bet their parents don't know they're doing it.

If that doesn't work, I'd go for a fence. I've got chain link along one side of my garden and the metal posts that it's attached to are only about 3cm deep. The loss of driveway width would be minimal, and it's pretty cheap to do. Even cheaper would be wire threaded through the posts!

ThickAndTired · 09/08/2021 16:49

Electric fencing doesn't tape up much space, or barbed wire. Just a couple of strands should do it.

If that doesn't appeal, a row of large cobble type stones between the drives, high enough to be annoying if driven on. Or a row of bricks, fixed standing on end.

ThickAndTired · 09/08/2021 16:50

take up, not tape up, it is like tape though.

bluebeck · 09/08/2021 16:56

I would install a gate where your drive diverges away from their fence.

Sssloou · 09/08/2021 16:58

Is that your land to the RHS of the driveway entrance where it says “uphill” on your drawing - because if so you could pinch a foot or two to widen your drive if planters/hedge/fence take up too much space on the LHS.

Leftbutcameback · 09/08/2021 17:05

Just here to admire the beautiful diagram! Also noting how far your front door is from their house - that’s not what I expected at all

DancyNancy · 09/08/2021 17:14

I would fence down the non shared side. And I would put a gate where red arrows start. Doesnt stop them being on initial entrance part but puts a clearer boundary to prevent them running up to the house You could do a very narrow fence between shared part, post and rail. That only takes a few inches

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 09/08/2021 17:14

@doggydance79

that's a beautiful diagram!

Notaroadrunner · 09/08/2021 17:15

I'd also tell the parents to stop allowing their kids onto your property. And if they do appear again let a shout out the door/window to go home. I wouldn't want them using my drive either. Did your previous neighbours use it?

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 09/08/2021 17:17

@ThickAndTired

Electric fencing doesn't tape up much space, or barbed wire. Just a couple of strands should do it.

If that doesn't appeal, a row of large cobble type stones between the drives, high enough to be annoying if driven on. Or a row of bricks, fixed standing on end.

Electric fence & barbed wire???? 🤣 that's a bit of an overkill. we are talking about children, not serial killers on death row
Hankunamatata · 09/08/2021 17:18

Looks like there is space to increase width of your drive on the non adjoining side. I'd do that then stick up a fence

Carthief · 09/08/2021 17:25

I’d be tempted to put up something like this - small chain link fence but maybe at 3ft tall - you can get them where the posts have solar lighting as well so help light the driveway.

Minimal loss of drive width but will emphasise the boundary.

If the kids have to go right down to the road to get on your drive it might also stop them as well.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?
80Dodgeballs · 09/08/2021 17:27

I would say about safety but also tell them that you and your other half are naturists. Say that you like to walk around your house naked most of the time and you don't want their little ones getting a fright Grin Or, if that doesn't stop them, set up some scary Halloween thing that goes off if they go past a certain point on your drive like just before your front door. Enough to give the kids nightmares to put them off coming back.

godmum56 · 09/08/2021 17:28

@Carthief

I’d be tempted to put up something like this - small chain link fence but maybe at 3ft tall - you can get them where the posts have solar lighting as well so help light the driveway.

Minimal loss of drive width but will emphasise the boundary.

If the kids have to go right down to the road to get on your drive it might also stop them as well.

this...it will only take one child to try and jump over it, catch a foot and faceplant and run home yelling and the job will be done :)
WoMandalorian · 09/08/2021 17:30

Could you attach a gate to the existing fence? Is the fence yours or neighbours? Then you could just add a post to the other side rather than digging/drilling into your drive.

By not wanting next door's kids running up my driveway?
80Dodgeballs · 09/08/2021 17:35

I think chain link fencing would give an open invitation to mess about with and I reckon would get broken in no time. Kids seem to be attracted to stuff like that because they can swing it, sit on the chain etc

itsgettingwierd · 09/08/2021 17:42

Fab diagram Grin

And makes it even clearer what you meant. They are being completely unreasonable. It's very obvious they are running up someone else's drive.

I think planters on your drive next to theirs would make sense if yours is still wide enough to drive up like that but also the gate idea is really good.