Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

@LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus

I personally judge people who don't breastfeed their children for the full term, i.e. at least 2.5 years and well beyond, as I think it is every child's right. I don't voice that opinion though as it would be rude to do so. We all never know what the other person's experience is as we haven't lived it ourselves, which is why commenting is inappropriate.

So you judge me then having not done it at all. And have just very publicly voiced it?

If you have had a thread called "AIBU to be breastfeeding my nearly 5 year old", you would get a massive amount of flack!

That thread would be someone asking for opinions. Whereas this thread is about someone (and their family) giving unsolicited opinions in a “harsh” way. Plenty of people have said they agree with OP, but that generally speaking, giving opinions on other people’s parenting is best avoided.

@PomegranateQueen

SweatyPie

It's pretty wierd when you think about it. Just because you aren't personally milking the cow, someone is putting the pump on those teats and artificially inseminating the cows.

You must be a vegan.

That's your choice.

Other people aren't always like you.

it feels almost sexual to be bf a child of that age.

I don't think you'd say that if you'd done it!

"Not sure about nowadays - its never been polite to express rude opinions about others people's choices that don't affect you when its bloody obvious it's going to hurt the other person"

Why would it obviously hurt the other person? Why on earth do people care so much what others think of their choices?

No, you didn't do anything wrong. It is strange and you were right to tell her. You are better off with her not in your life.

I find it very strange at that age and can’t help wonder who’s the one keeping it going.

I never understand why people say things like this, do they think it’s possible to force a child to BF if they don’t want to or something?

it feels almost sexual to be bf a child of that age.

Imagine thinking like this. Urgh.

@MondayYogurt

Just say sorry. She can't be that good a friend of your parents if she's dumping the whole family over your one comment though.

It wasn't one comment. It was one comment off OP and then her parents and grandparents also weighed in on how awful she was and then OP compounded her judgement on top.

@bloodywhitecat

Is feeding the breastmilk of another species to your 5 year old strange too? When I think about it I find it more strange that we happily drink cows/sheep/goats milk but not human milk.

Exactly this.

Western culture is messed up.

Good for her for feeding naturally.

@Letsgetquizzy

"Not sure about nowadays - its never been polite to express rude opinions about others people's choices that don't affect you when its bloody obvious it's going to hurt the other person"

Why would it obviously hurt the other person? Why on earth do people care so much what others think of their choices?

You don't think it's obv going to hurt someone to be told to their face that they're weird and harming their child?

YANBU OP

I would absolutely not have allowed someone to breastfeed a 5 year old child in my home with my parents watching!

I probably wouldn't have said anything and would have given an excuse not to babysit instead

I bf both of mine until around 2.5...i thought that was quite late! Each to their own, I do find it a bit strange but wouldn't have said anything.

You were honestly horribly rude and factually wrong. It's a very biologically normal thing to do. You can have an opinion that biologically normal things are wrong, I guess, but it is wrong as it's factually very normal. Even if you weren't wrong and this was a subjective rather than objective thing, you were still being kind of an asshole to voice your opinion.

@mustlovegin

YANBU OP

I would absolutely not have allowed someone to breastfeed a 5 year old child in my home with my parents watching!

I probably wouldn't have said anything and would have given an excuse not to babysit instead

So what would you have done if she'd dropped him off and just done it without warning? And why would your parents be watching??

Your were rude and should have kept your mouth shut, its absolutely nothing to do with you and not your business to voice your opinion.

I fed till 23 months and that was enough for me, fair play to her carrying on till 4 years old.

Haven't read the thread but she sounds totally dramatic and an exhibitionist too.

She breast feeds her child before bed for comfort...your house in front of you before she leaves is not before bed. He is nearly 5 years old not 5 months she has made the issue as a child of that age can wait until they go home for it.

[quote crazymicrowave123]I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html[/quote]
I’m genuinely quite shocked at the amount of flack you’ve received on here for this post and I don’t think the views on here are representative of most peoples views on breastfeeding 4 year olds. If it were me I wouldn’t have said anything but I would have thought it strange. There’s no need for a 4 nearly 5 year old to still be breastfeeding. My DD is 4 and no way could I imagine breastfeeding her at this age. I think you friend over reacted to your comment. She must have known you it might raise a few eyebrows. She sounds like a bit of a tree hugger to be honest OP. And please don’t go grovelling for an apology as some have suggested.

Two of my children were breastfed till 4.5 years. It was just a bedtime feed and if they ever woke In the night

@Candydreamer my life isn't that boring that I would need to concoct a fake story. I didn't actually expect that this would be such a controversial topic or how unreasonable my opinion would be, but I hold my hands up and admit I am wrong for telling her my opinion. I have apologised for her being offended but I have a feeling she wants me to change my view but that shall not happen.

There’s no need for a 4 nearly 5 year old to still be breastfeeding.

Do you only do things you strictly ‘need’ to?

Of course not, what a ridiculous notion.

It is the friends business if she wants to breast feed a 5 year old.

It is the absolutely the OPs business if she wants to do it in her home. The child can wait at that age for a breast feed.

I think it was inappropriate for you to comment to be honest, its her child and her body so ultimately its her decision whatever your thoughts on it are

'I personally judge people who don't breastfeed their children for the full term, i.e. at least 2.5 years and well beyond, as I think it is every child's right.'

And I personally judge people who come out with judgemental stuff like this, this could go on all day really.

Loads of wankers on this thread.

How rude. Thanks for then coming on here to shame many more women who are doing the same thing. Wow.

People on here are quick to point out that a father shouldn’t be bathing with his daughter past the age of about 3, and the connotation is definitely sexual there even if it is not intended.

BF a child at 5 is the same IMO.

The thing is that there’s a weird culture of not being allowed to think that breastfeeding a school aged child is wrong, even though it’s almost unheard of.

If it’s still appropriate to latch a child on at the age of 5, then why not at 8, 9, 12?

Breastfeeding a baby is the norm. It’s what babies do.

Breastfeeding a child who could be running around in the playground, wanting sleepovers at friends’ houses, attending birthday parties where the parents leave them to have fun with their friends is most definitely not normal.

But as usual the virtue signallers are out in force to proclaim that breastfeeding a 5 year old is oh so normal when in their heads I have little doubt that most on this thread don’t believe that for a minute.