Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

999 replies

crazymicrowave123 · 06/08/2021 13:01

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 06/08/2021 13:48

Ugh, I've met so many people like you who don't give a shit who they upset with their "I was just being honest" and "tell it like it is" mentality.

They all lose friends at a high rate as well.

quizqueen · 06/08/2021 13:48

It's bonkers to be still breastfeeding a child who is ready for school in a few weeks.

IDreamOfLogCabins · 06/08/2021 13:48

@crazymicrowave123

I'd probably have said the same without thinking. I'm not a parent and would never babysit so unlikely to ever be in this scenario, but I'd say no to someone wanting to breastfeed a nearly 5 year old in my house.

stayathomer · 06/08/2021 13:48

Sorry I said baby I meant child.

Aria2015 · 06/08/2021 13:48

Ignoring the topic itself, surely most kind people, on realising they have inadvertently offended a friend, just do what it takes to make it right? I would hate to think that something I said hurt the feelings of another when that was not my intention and would apologise for causing that hurt. That's regardless of whether or not I thought I was 'right' or not.

JinglingHellsBells · 06/08/2021 13:48

I think her overreaction speaks volumes OP.

Maybe she knows it is unusual and doesn't like anyone else saying that.

ThorsLeftNut · 06/08/2021 13:49

You’re not unreasonable in your opinion but she did not need to hear it. So rude.

ClemDanFango · 06/08/2021 13:50

It’s beyond frustrating that these outdated views on breastfeeding still exist. People would much rather continue to judge women for their choices as mothers then actually educate themselves. It’s fucking tiresome.

Mummyoply · 06/08/2021 13:50

It's bonkers to be still breastfeeding a child who is ready for school in a few weeks

Why?

user1493494961 · 06/08/2021 13:50

Well, I've finished my popcorn, what shall I have next .....

Candydreamer · 06/08/2021 13:50

@JinglingHellsBells

I think her overreaction speaks volumes OP.

Maybe she knows it is unusual and doesn't like anyone else saying that.

nah, shes probably had ignorance from other people too and decided she could do without OP and her family.

aside from whether or not you think what she is doing is weird, if I knew I had offended a friend I would apologise and explain it wasnt my intention.

part of me isnt sure this actually happened though, look how many responses are already on here, OP knew this would be a controversial subject.

eightyfourandahalf · 06/08/2021 13:51

You can imagine how much teasing a child that age will get if the others find out.. even a 4 year old know that BF is for babies...

It's beyond weird, you are better off without her, but naive to expect someone like that woman to take a comment kindly!

Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 06/08/2021 13:51

@Knittingupastorm My dad and grandmother told her she's setting him up for embarrassment and bullying and that what I said was too kind. I simply said I found it a bit strange over the age of 5 when he starts school but hey I have realised now I should have kept my mouth shut. My family have known this lady for over 20 years. I am sure my family will repair their relationship with her eventually, and I have apologised for offending her, waiting for a response. But if not nothing I can do about it.

OP posts:
Mummyoply · 06/08/2021 13:51

@ClemDanFango agree completely Smile

JinglingHellsBells · 06/08/2021 13:51

@Candydreamer If you think the OP is a troll or making it up, report it.

Handsoffstrikesagain · 06/08/2021 13:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

frazzledpregnantlady · 06/08/2021 13:52

Yes, you were unreasonable and rude.

Natural term breastfeeding is a valid parenting choice with well documented potential benefits. Many women stop breastfeeding before they would like to because they fear the judgement that you have dished out to a so called friend. If it's not a choice that you agree with then you could have just not passed comment but instead you were both unkind and judgemental. I don't know how you expected her to respond?

Fivebyfive2 · 06/08/2021 13:53

But you didn't just say it was your opinion, you told her you and your family think so, meaning she knows you were all discussing it negatively. It was none of your business and a really rude, unnecessary thing to say to her.

NuffSaidSam · 06/08/2021 13:53

'This could go on forever. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and everyone is entitled to voice it. The consequences are there for you to face. I'm surprised anyone on aibu would have no opinion.'

It could 😂

Everyone can have whatever thoughts and opinions they want.

You do not have a moral or legal right to voice all of those opinions though. That's just fact. That's why people get banned from social media, for example and in some cases are investigated and prosecuted by the police. You don't have the right or the entitlement to voice whatever you want. It's simply not true. There are some opinions the law (or in some case just rules at work/in other parts of society) prohibit you from voicing. I'm surprised that you don't know this tbh it something that's very much in the news at the moment!

Geamhradh · 06/08/2021 13:53

@quizqueen

It's bonkers to be still breastfeeding a child who is ready for school in a few weeks.
Is that a medical term? It's a lot more common than you think, it's just that judgemental ignorant (about the benefits) fuckwits make it difficult for people to talk about. And of course you don't actually see mothers having to go into schools to feed because that's all invented GFery.
Anordinarymum · 06/08/2021 13:54

@user1493494961

Well, I've finished my popcorn, what shall I have next .....
Breast is best Grin
Neverrains · 06/08/2021 13:54

but I'd say no to someone wanting to breastfeed a nearly 5 year old in my house

Why would you say no?

midwifeandttc · 06/08/2021 13:55

Yes you’re rude and judgemental. Nothing to do with you.

Geamhradh · 06/08/2021 13:56

[quote crazymicrowave123]@Knittingupastorm My dad and grandmother told her she's setting him up for embarrassment and bullying and that what I said was too kind. I simply said I found it a bit strange over the age of 5 when he starts school but hey I have realised now I should have kept my mouth shut. My family have known this lady for over 20 years. I am sure my family will repair their relationship with her eventually, and I have apologised for offending her, waiting for a response. But if not nothing I can do about it.[/quote]
He won't be bullied as long as he stays well clear of people like your family.

NuffSaidSam · 06/08/2021 13:56

'You can imagine how much teasing a child that age will get if the others find out.. even a 4 year old know that BF is for babies...'

Small children are actually quite open minded!

The ones that aren't have been raised that way. You know, raised around language like 'that's not normal' or 'its weird as fuck'. It's those people who produce the little bullies. Not the one bf her 4 year old.