Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

@EasterIssland. Is that a serious post? We can all usual Google and post the links ans articles to say the opposite

Quite frankly I can also post links to show that elvis is still alive, Covid isn’t real and Tom cruise is actually an alien

Really irs best not to post links to articles that anyone who knows how to use google can post the contradictory link.

We might not be a bright bunch on here, but we ain’t idiots.

[quote Imnewhere1991]**@KidneyBeans* because you and @wincarwoo* appeared shocked at my comment, so I thought it best to elaborate on it.
I am merely sharing an experience,.perhaps to portray that it depends who you say your opinion to and how well they are likely to take it, if you are wanting to comment on someone's parenting.[/quote]
Weird that you think you can determine someone being 'shocked' from an internet post asking you a question

Probably no weirder than a cryptic 3- post drip feed where to try and explain the value of your contribution though 🤷‍♀️

When the milk teeth fall out it’s perhaps time for the mum to push the child to stop, but really it’s none of your business. I had one refusing the breast from 7 months old, and another was over 3 years when they weaned themselves off.

@Muminabun

Yanbu op. He is 5 fgs she is putting her needs above his.

Do you think she's force/feeding him then?

@wincarwoo

Surely those who 'have experience' are going to be the ones that have breast fed past that age already therefore their views would be pretty bias.

Sorry, you cant gate keep a subject. People are allowed their own preferences on what they personally believe is best and it isnt your role to validate that.

My MW recommended bf for one week i can see the logic in a mother who doesn't want to bf being encouraged to do it for just one week but it's rather unprofessional of her to discourage mothers from breast feeding beyond that. I'd assume she's quite old and very out of touch

Nah fuck it. Why shouldn't you be able to say your opinion out loud OP? You've just as much right as she has for voicing hers.

It's not like you were criticising her right to breastfeed. But she TOLD you she would be doing it at your house to a 5 yr old without asking if you were ok with that. Not a 5 month old. Different thing entirely

Yea I think breastfeeding a child that's no longer an infant is weird and about the mother's issues and (shoot me i don't give a shit) strangely sexual.

People are allowed their own preferences

Sure, for how to handle it with their own children.

But immensely arrogant to think their ‘preferences’ should have any relevance to anyone else,

I mean, it’s probably best to have kept your opinions to yourself but honestly at five they don’t need to be breastfed. Who is it really for? They should be able to self soothe and get all the nutrients they need from food. I’m not adverse to it but do find it odd.

[quote Mreggsworth]@wincarwoo

Surely those who 'have experience' are going to be the ones that have breast fed past that age already therefore their views would be pretty bias.

Sorry, you cant gate keep a subject. People are allowed their own preferences on what they personally believe is best and it isnt your role to validate that.[/quote]
As nobody on the thread has managed to provide any evidence to show any disadvantages I'm happy to go with the anecdotal "biased" evidence.

@Hopeisallineed

I mean, it’s probably best to have kept your opinions to yourself but honestly at five they don’t need to be breastfed. Who is it really for? They should be able to self soothe and get all the nutrients they need from food. I’m not adverse to it but do find it odd.

So many sheltered people around.

Whether or not pps agree that a 5 year old needs to be breast fed isn’t relevant though. I didn’t breastfeed any of my kids until this age but I wouldn’t tell someone else I thought they were weird. I don’t like when very small children have really long hair but I don’t tell their parents ‘hey that’s impractical, cut your child’s hair.’

The breastfeeding isn’t really the issue here, it’s the op’s lack of ability to behave appropriately in keeping her opinion to herself when it hasn’t been asked for.

But she TOLD you she would be doing it at your house to a 5 yr old without asking if you were ok with that. Not a 5 month old. Different thing entirely so at what age should one ask permission to breast feed their child?

at five they don’t need to be breastfed. Who is it really for? They should be able to self soothe so if your 5 yo came to you upset over something (hurt, scared, etc) or were going into a new environment and were worried, you'd refuse to offer any comfort because at 5 they can do it themselves?? Wow.

@Yrevocsid

Nah fuck it. Why shouldn't you be able to say your opinion out loud OP? You've just as much right as she has for voicing hers.

It's not like you were criticising her right to breastfeed. But she TOLD you she would be doing it at your house to a 5 yr old without asking if you were ok with that. Not a 5 month old. Different thing entirely

Yea I think breastfeeding a child that's no longer an infant is weird and about the mother's issues and (shoot me i don't give a shit) strangely sexual.

The thread title literally says 4

You think breast feeding a toddler is sexual? Why would you consider any act involving feeding a toddler sexual?

Don't you think the fact you consider it sexual is a bigger problem than the innocent mothers who don't?

The breastfeeding isn’t really the issue here, it’s the op’s lack of ability to behave appropriately in keeping her opinion to herself when it hasn’t been asked for

This. Have an opinion, but you don't have to rudely share it.

@KidneyBeans no weirder than you assuming someone was arrogant from an internet post?
Good night ✨

[quote KidneyBeans]@Suzi888
When was that? The 1970s?
Or did you just have a particularly ignorant MW?
Have you literally never thought to question that advice? [/quote]
@KidneyBeans
No love, it was 2016.

@sleeping that’s hilarious! No I would lock them in a room and say sort it out yourself. 🙄 obviously. Lobbing out your breast is not the only way to offer comfort you know. How do you think the rest of us manage to soothe our kids? At five they are going to school. If that’s the only way to soothe an upset child then what happens if the child is upset at school and he/she can’t comfort themselves because their mother is not there to breastfeed them. Get the teacher to do it? 😳🧐😂

So your mid wife from 5 years ago recommended BF for just a week?

Did you let someone know, because clearly she needed more training.

Lobbing out your breast

Do people not realise how misogynistic their language on this topic is?

It’s vile.

@TheKeatingFive

Yes, However we are on an internet forum. Where the whole premise is to voice preferences/opinions. In real life it's very different, a conversation in real life on this subject would go;

Friend: I'm going to breast feed till my child is 5
Me: okay cool

The end.

However as this is a space to go a little bit deeper and think about it more, I have.

I voiced my preference that I dont think its ideal to breast feed up to 5, based on a combination of personal views and seeing it have a negative effect on a family members child. Then I was met with comments saying "no this is wrong this article says otherwise". Therefore were they not being arrogant in thinking their opinion was relevant to me?

No, because it's a forum and people can share opinions.

However, I dont see why people get so offended at people stating a preference and saying why (and only saying why after probing too). Its not as if I'm trying to change anyones mind

[quote Imnewhere1991]@KidneyBeans no weirder than you assuming someone was arrogant from an internet post?
Good night ✨[/quote]
no better than assuming someone was arrogant from an internet post where they described rudely giving their judgemental and unasked for criticism of someone else's choices

Yeah. I'm gonna stick with arrogant. Why else assume your right to give an opinion is more important that someone else's feelings.

They have a special room at my kids school for breastfeeding mums. They go in after their lunch for a bit of "pudding"

God I hope you’re a troll 🤮🤮🤮

Best to think it ans not say it
I knew someone who breatfed at this age the thing is this person did it because they wanted to not because the child did and they couldn't let go , but it still wasn't my place to say anything, but then again when I stopped breastfeeding at 67 months , plenty commented that I shouldn't and also when pregnant loads thought it was ok to tell me I must breastfeed

@Suzi888
That's even more bizarre love

I'm just checking you're aware that is terrible advice? It's odd that if so, you'd randomly pop onto a thread and repeat it without any context.