Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

@wincarwoo
I don’t judge anyone for extended breastfeeding
I wonder why they constantly need to point out it’s the norm. Yet we live in a very different world to those who are forced into it.
It’s a choice, that’s all. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s all personal choice. Luckily for most when you’re white, western and wealthy.

Very unreasonable.
Not your business. Stay out.

@Taliskerskye

I’ve genuinely found those who breastfeed and especially breastfeed later the most judgy, mainly white middle class wealthy people I have ever come across in my life. If anyone judges more than them I would be highly surprised.

Hilarious 😂 Definitely peak irony.

UNICEF did a UK breastfeeding survey in 2010, and rates at 6 months were sadly low, so anyone arguing that extended bfing is the norm, not unusual, common, or any such word is on thin ground statistically. It is not the norm, very unusual.

[quote crazymicrowave123]@mustlovegin I told her I would leave and she got upset with me asking why, I said I would give her space to breastfeed and she said there was no need. This is what started the whole situation, I didn't just bring this up out of no where.[/quote]
"oh I didn't know if you'd want privacy / i thought he might appreciate the peace and quiet" vs "because its strange and frankly we're all going p gossip about you later"

@AngryWhompingWillow
Well you’re a prime example of someone who might be judged.
Do you really think I said ALL white women judge? That would be odd. It’s mostly the combination of the 4 that makes one very judgemental and as you’ve stated, you aren’t all 4. You’re only one!

Some people struggle with natural term breastfeeding (which is what it's called btw). Especially those who didn't do it or didn't do it for long. I got it all when I fed mine, although I stopped at 3 1/2.

Saying it's for the mother's benefit is laughable, it really isn't fun. saying it's sexual is down right offensive.

Fact is, it's none of your business and you have no right to comment. even if you do judge. Ignorance just makes a person look like a bit of a twat, when they stand by it.

[quote Taliskerskye]@wincarwoo
I don’t judge anyone for extended breastfeeding
I wonder why they constantly need to point out it’s the norm. Yet we live in a very different world to those who are forced into it.
It’s a choice, that’s all. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s all personal choice. Luckily for most when you’re white, western and wealthy.[/quote]
@Taliskerskye nobody has said it's the norm. People have said it's uncommon or unusual.
There was also a post pointing out the errors in the general perception about developing countries.

Actually the bias against breastfeeding is very strong in the West and many cannot continue as nature intended due to the need to earn a living. There's no choice there.

@IWantT0BreakFree
I never said I disagreed with it. I said that many western white women judge less wealthy people for their apparent poor choices. Do you think that’s not a thing?!

I just don't know what possessed you to voice your opinion in such a way?
What did you think you'd achieve by even mentioning that you found it strange?

Did you expect her to say something like "Thankyou, yes it's really strange."

@Taliskerskye again, you’ve said that you don’t judge, yet earlier you said you did judge and wouldn’t want to be friends with this person - so which is it? Your comments are very judgemental one minute, then very blase the next.

@wincarwoo
Yes exactly! Non wealthy people.
So why was my comment so stupid.

I wouldn’t worry op she is likely secretly loving the drama and attention.

[quote Taliskerskye]@wincarwoo
I don’t judge anyone for extended breastfeeding
I wonder why they constantly need to point out it’s the norm. Yet we live in a very different world to those who are forced into it.
It’s a choice, that’s all. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s all personal choice. Luckily for most when you’re white, western and wealthy.[/quote]
What do you mean you don’t judge people for extended breastfeeding? You literally said you found those who breastfeed, especially for longer, to be the “most judgy” people you’d ever met.

How is that not judging.

I’ve genuinely found those who breastfeed and especially breastfeed later the most judgy, mainly white middle class wealthy people I have ever come across in my life. If anyone judges more than them I would be highly surprised.

Oh the extreme irony of your comment is not lost on me. You’re seriously suggesting that most Mother’s of all other ethnicities don’t breastfeed? Can you direct me to the stats to back this obscene statement up please? No, thought so.

Anyway, I have no idea why you felt the need to comment OP. I still consider 4 years old very young, I know mine were still so tiny at that age. I’d find it odd if a 10 year old was still breastfed but 4 isn’t that crazy at all.

I think that most people who breastfeed this long are used to getting comments from people, or funny looks (I did) But they wouldn't expect it to be voiced in such a way by somebody they were close to.

[quote Taliskerskye]@wincarwoo
Yes exactly! Non wealthy people.
So why was my comment so stupid.[/quote]
It's not just wealthy people who have to work.
I repeat that there is a massive bias against breastfeeding in the West.

@666TheNumberOfTheBeast
Maybe read all my comments. I said I don’t judge about extended breastfeeding

I said I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who cut out an entire family for what is a standard view. Anyone who decides unilaterally to cut out a whole group of people including ones that didn’t even make the comment, is someone to be avoided. Impo

How is 4-7 the ‘natural weaning age’? Surely, even for the children of extended breastfeeders, their children are weaned and eating a good variety of soli food?

I think sometimes “weaned” is used to mean started on solid food, and sometimes to mean stopped breastfeeding. So for natural weaning age, it means stopping breastfeeding, not that the children aren’t eating solid food.

It’s a choice, that’s all. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s all personal choice. Luckily for most when you’re white, western and wealthy.

Considering the fact breastfeeding is completely free it’s baffling to suggest only wealthy people choose to breastfeed.

@3AndStopping not saying its wrong, but if you really wanted to stop you'd just stop, she will cry and be upset for a while but eventually get over it, my son hates brushing his teeth and can scream for England but I don't care. At 5 she is doing it for her benefit not his, and she wanted me to know she breastfeeds him and how proud she is. If she hadn't asked whether I would stay in the room with her I would have kept my opinion to myself, she goaded me for a while saying there would be no issue with me watching or being there and when I said it's ok I'd give privacy, she then asked why and I started then It's a bit strange comment, and that's how this whole situation exploded and she then turned on my family saying I am a judgemental disgusting human and they have raised me badly, then she was shocked to hear that my family agree and think much worse which is why she cut us off. But was now strangely trying to convince me to change my opinion to babysit and she has realised she is desperate. She is dramatic and too hot and cold for me so I have now declined.

@wincarwoo
I think we are at cross points. Most wealthy people I know have help/time/money. They chose to work. They don’t HAVE to work,

Ergo, they can make choices others can’t.
You think I’m saying something when actually I’m saying the opposit.

How many people on here that do extended breastfeeding work in minimum wages jobs?
Do shift work?
Work zero hours contracts?
Couldn’t take full year mat leave?
Only get statutory mat leave pay?
Have some form of benefits/top ups?
Are single parents?

Be interesting to know.

I get that morally I am wrong for voicing my opinion, it was spur of the moment and I just said what was on my mind, I regretted it as soon as I said it as I knew she would start on me so I tried to backtrack. It's more subjective than factual and if I am asshole, so be it...

I don’t really think did anything wrong. She kind of made it your business when she decided to feed him in your house rather than before she came to you. Then instead of saying, ‘see you in a bit’ when you said you’d make yourself scarce, she started a conversation. It was almost as if she was trying to provoke an opinion.

@Hemingwaycat
Oh my lord.
Really!

You cannot see that MAINLY people who do extended breastfeeding in THIS country are of certain demographic.

Bloody hell