Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

I would find it very uncomfortable to watch, but then that is obviously my issue.

Why would you watch? I find that way more weird than someone bf their child. And the other poster made a great point, human milk from the mum isn’t okay for a 4 yo but cow’s milk is? Cow’s milk that you have no idea what is exactly in it, where’s it from, what the practices are without having to look it up, while mum knows exactly what she is putting in her body and what is going into her child’s. How is that not weird?

@Toomuchtodoo

More children breastfeed beyond babyhood than many people realise, because as children get older, they breastfeeed less frequently, usually only evenings and mornings when mother and child are at home.

So are children of school age being encouraged by their morhers to keep quiet about it?
That doesn't seem right to me.
If it's nothing for the child to be embarrassed about then there should be no need for secrecy, surely?
But what do I know!

OP you are entitled to your opinion but wrong to voice it.

I doubt it. I think that as they are doing something completely normal and very commonplace, they don't feel the need to talk about it. Do non breastfed 4 year olds walk round saying "I had a drink of cow's milk for my breakfast"

It’s weird to me.
I would actively avoid someone like her in my life, so it’s a win win for you!

@Taliskerskye

It’s weird to me. I would actively avoid someone like her in my life, so it’s a win win for you!

Someone like what?

Now now Lalala don't start throwing facts and common sense around in AIBU we won't stand for it.

So I'm sitting down to say those who are linking bf to sex and sexualising it....they're the weirdos.

Wow @crazymicrowave123 you and your family must not have a great deal going on in your lives if you:

a) care what other women do and how they raise their children
b) discuss other parents and their choices
c) think that any of those parents give a shit what you think about their parenting skills.

What on Earth made you think she had to know your unprofessional opinion? Well done to her for cutting you all out. Claiming to be ‘very honest’ and ‘outspoken’ does not mean you get to be really nasty and get away with it.

'Breastfeeding in Your house' and 'breastfeeding in front of you'. Have you actually listened to yourself. What is it with people needing to comment on others feeding choices including formula feeding

maybe people do extended breastfeeding but keep it in for the fear of being judged

Quite. Nobody apart from my DH and the child themselves knew that I continued to breastfeed after the age of two and it was entirely because of ignorant, judgemental attitudes such as yours.

crazymicrowave123

Do you believe that a cup of milk from a cow’s breast is better for a child than its own human mother’s milk?

your friend has every right to distance herself from you all after your behaviour

Natural term breastfeeding is biologically normal. It's just become culturally more unusual - that does not entitle you to tell her you think it's strange!! If your uncomfortable with it fine but that's your problem not hers.

You need to do your research. Read this article www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-beyond-a-year/

Then apologise.

It's made me feel really sad reading your post actually

@Taliskerskye

It’s weird to me. I would actively avoid someone like her in my life, so it’s a win win for you!

Why would you actively avoid someone because they’re breastfeeding a child within the normal age range? What difference does it make to you? How does it impact your life exactly?

Agree that anyone who thinks breastfeeding to four is wrong is sexualising it and is the weirdo.

I wouldn't apologise Op-I mean how can you come back from that?

Tbh though I think that she was really cheeky to be telling you that she would bfeed at your house.

@SleepingStandingUp
Someone who cuts an entire family out of their life for a pretty standard view.
I would have just said, I don’t agree and moved on in life.

nothing to do with breasts being sexual just think its unnecessary after a certain age.

You’re just uneducated on the topic then OP. Simple as that. You and your family sound awful. Really unpleasant people. I hope this woman doesn’t waste a second more on thinking about any of you. She is certainly much better off without you in her life as you were no kind of friends to her.

it feels almost sexual to be bf a child of that age

And the PP who wrote this ^ is absolutely disgusting. You are accusing women who breastfeed for longer than the western cultural norm of being paedophiles who abuse their own children. You ought to be banned from this parenting website permanently. You are uneducated and ill informed on the subject and have no right to be brandishing such extremely serious accusations based on diddly squat except your own narrow minded and judgemental opinion.

Tbh though I think that she was really cheeky to be telling you that she would bfeed at your house. You think she should have asked permission? Would you think the same if she gave her a cup of milk or a hug?

There are some really angry women on this thread.
Do you never get judged on anything in life. Just let it go and go about your merry lives! Why would you ever care what people think about what you do with your family.

What were you hoping to gain from telling her you thought it was weird? She was hardly likely to agree with you or stop, you’ve just upset someone for no good reason.

@Toomuchtodoo

More children breastfeed beyond babyhood than many people realise, because as children get older, they breastfeeed less frequently, usually only evenings and mornings when mother and child are at home.

So are children of school age being encouraged by their morhers to keep quiet about it?
That doesn't seem right to me.
If it's nothing for the child to be embarrassed about then there should be no need for secrecy, surely?
But what do I know!

OP you are entitled to your opinion but wrong to voice it.

That comment didn’t say school age, just “beyond babyhood”.

I breastfeed my DD who turned 2 in June. She feeds last thing at night most nights and first thing in the morning most mornings, but isn’t fussed by not having any if she stays at her grandparents’ which she does occasionally.
Not many people would know I still do this, simply because I don’t mention it. Not out of shame or anything, just because I don’t think it’s interesting and don’t think people really care to hear about my child’s bedtime routine.

It was a daft and small-minded thing to say and I'm pretty staggered anyone can have thought that was an appropriate comment. Surely anyone who hasn't been living under a rock forever knows you never criticise anyone else for a valid, safe, parenting choice? Plus roping your entire family into the comment.

That said, I think her reaction was OTT and it makes me think she was almost setting you up for it (I think some people who are very militant about breastfeeding sometimes engineer these confrontations on purpose. Possibly with good reason, based on your comments).

You send very young OP and I'd just chalk it down to experience. Whatever you do in life, learn a bit of social nous.

Not your boobs, not your business.

[quote Taliskerskye]@SleepingStandingUp
Someone who cuts an entire family out of their life for a pretty standard view.
I would have just said, I don’t agree and moved on in life.[/quote]
Ah ok, good to know you wouldn't avoid someone just for breast feeding so late

Despite the random and made-up statements "BF is natural until you are 21, BF used to be the norm at 6" 😂

feel sorry for the poor kids with such an overbearing mother who insist on BF a nearly 5 yo... Maybe time to put the kids needs and best interest first, instead of trying to keep them as baby way past that time?
Honestly, poor kids.

Why on earth did you feel the need to comment, it doesn't affect you and is none of your business that she still breastfeeds.

I'm not surprised she doesn't want to stay in touch!

There are some really angry women on this thread.* Do you never get judged on anything in life. Just let it go and go about your merry lives! Why would you ever care what people think about what you do with your family.*

This. We all know everyone gets judged for everything, just ignore.

@eightyfourandahalf

Despite the random and made-up statements "BF is natural until you are 21, BF used to be the norm at 6" 😂

feel sorry for the poor kids with such an overbearing mother who insist on BF a nearly 5 yo... Maybe time to put the kids needs and best interest first, instead of trying to keep them as baby way past that time?
Honestly, poor kids.

honestly poor your kids if you have any for having such a judgmental opinion

next time you find a child who is 5 bf ask them what it means to them... you might be taken aback