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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unsure about letting child go alone to birthday party

104 replies

Sparkle1138 · 05/08/2021 23:10

AIBU to not feel comfortable with letting my 9 year old (just turned) go to another 9 year olds party which is an hours drive away (with her parents) and 6 other friends. It's a public place they are going too which will be very busy, espec in school holidays. My mind always thinks worst case scenario. She is sensible, as sensible as a 9 year old can be. I don't want to hold her back but feel she's still a bit young, maybe end of primary school age is more appropriate for these kind of parties?? All her other friends, including her, had their parties at home.

OP posts:
YerAWizardHarry · 05/08/2021 23:11

I’ve been dropping off and picking up at parties since my son was 6 or so. Is it the distance that’s worrying you?

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 05/08/2021 23:13

9 is more than old enough unless there's reasons you think she can't be left alone?

Drop her off and go somewhere to have a coffee

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/08/2021 23:14

Shes 9!!

Mamamia7962 · 05/08/2021 23:16

Let her go, she will be fine.

AliMonkey · 05/08/2021 23:16

If I trusted the parents and/or it was at a place with good supervision by activity leaders then I did this as soon as my DC were comfortable with it - so probably about age 6 with DC1 and DC2 about 8/9 for an activity he was familiar with and never if he wasn’t (due to his anxiety about new things).

lannistunut · 05/08/2021 23:17

I was never keen on drop offs unless I knew the parents, there are plenty of people I wouldn't trust with my pet let alone my child.

Can't you take her to the venue and just get yourself a coffee in a quiet corner?

Smartiepants79 · 05/08/2021 23:19

If I had met the parents then I’d not have a problem with this.

Original poster
Sparkle1138 · 05/08/2021 23:25

I know the parents well....not so keen on their supervision skills! It is mainly the fact she'll be an hour away with no direct supervision in a busy public place. If it was say a village hall or even cinema I'd drop and go no worries. The place she is going is like a big soft play with no supervision from the venue, you sign a disclaimer agreeing to that too....

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 05/08/2021 23:27

But if it's a big soft play, it's not like she can escape or wander off and she is 9.

JustLyra · 05/08/2021 23:27

8 kids and 2 adults - I’d be fine with that, especially in a public place.

I’m more uncomfortable with drop off parties at home in that middle bit between old enough to stay, but too young for a mobile phone/the confidence to say “please call my mum as I want to leave”.

Original poster
Sparkle1138 · 05/08/2021 23:28

Just to add they are taking them all there together so I wouldn't even be dropping at the venue.

OP posts:
audweb · 05/08/2021 23:29

She’s nine. She’ll stick with her friends. If it’s a big soft play she’ll be fine.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/08/2021 23:31

@Sparkle1138

I know the parents well....not so keen on their supervision skills! It is mainly the fact she'll be an hour away with no direct supervision in a busy public place. If it was say a village hall or even cinema I'd drop and go no worries. The place she is going is like a big soft play with no supervision from the venue, you sign a disclaimer agreeing to that too....
She will be FINE! She's 9.

Really no need to worry at all.

rainbowunicorn · 05/08/2021 23:34

You are being ridiculous

Xmasbaby11 · 05/08/2021 23:35

I'd be fine with this and dd is 9 with ASD, immature for her age. I've been dropping her at parties since she was 7. My NT daughter has been to drop offs since aged 5. I think a bit of independence is important.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 05/08/2021 23:35

My dd went to a couple of trampoline park parties an hour away when she was 7. Parents picked her up and dropped her home. It was fine. If you know the parents I think you’re being OTT at nine! Presumably she’s going into y5 so this is the end of primary, top two years!!

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 05/08/2021 23:36

If you don’t let her go I expect she will be the only one and half the fun is being picked up with the others.

jakeyboy1 · 05/08/2021 23:38

Depending on how busy it is I'd feel the same.

Macaroni46 · 05/08/2021 23:39

You need to let her go OP. You will suffocate your DD at this rate!

Original poster
Sparkle1138 · 05/08/2021 23:40

Thanks for your responces and opinions. Sometimes your worries can get the better of you....completely agree 're the independence and yes she's going into year 5 so the apron strings need loosening!!!!

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 05/08/2021 23:44

Gosh we've always taken loads of kids to places for my kids birthdays - theme parks, build a bear workshops, days out etc since other kids were maybe five or six.

Babyroobs · 05/08/2021 23:45

@Babyroobs

Gosh we've always taken loads of kids to places for my kids birthdays - theme parks, build a bear workshops, days out etc since other kids were maybe five or six.
I should add we usually knew the parents well so they knew they could trust us !!
aiwblam · 06/08/2021 07:53

You could drive her yourself instead of her travelling with the others. Mine are teens now but over the years, I have seen the most disgraceful behaviour from kids whose parents think it’s fine to drop them with minimal supervision. I’ve seen a pair of 8 year olds punching and brawling at soft play, children throwing food aged about 10, total disobedience and refusal to listen at many ages. A child who blew the birthday child’s candles. A child who teased another child until they cried. A bunch of children who chanted over the happy birthday song. A child who brought a mobile phone aged 4 and refused to join in with the party and played on the phone. My friend had a magician and banned 3 children from seeing him as they had been naughty.

I hosted a party where a pair of 9yos threw food, shouted and screamed etc. I didn’t tell their parents - why would I get into confrontation/conflict with them? I just wanted them to bugger off so I hurriedly smiled at the parents and shoved them out the door.

Just because you pick up a happy child at the end from a parent with a smile, it doesn’t mean they were necessarily well behaved or well looked after.

Plus if it’s a trampoline park or similar, people do themselves injuries requiring paramedics all the time.

The irony is that my own child has ASD and I mostly stayed to police his behaviour as I didn’t want him to ruin anyone’s party. And watched other completely unsupervised kids do the above whilst mine with SN behaved 🤣

Vanilla1Cookies · 06/08/2021 07:59

Are you always this anxious ?

9 is a perfectly reasonable age to go to a party with their friends without you. Feel sorry for the poor kid.

Vanilla1Cookies · 06/08/2021 08:01

@Babyroobs

Gosh we've always taken loads of kids to places for my kids birthdays - theme parks, build a bear workshops, days out etc since other kids were maybe five or six.
Same here. I think it’s really odd to be so worried about it when it’s perfectly normal.

My daughter just turned 10 very recently and I took her and 4 friends out for the day to do an activity with no other parents attending.