Unsure about letting child go alone to birthday party

[Sparkle1138]

AIBU to not feel comfortable with letting my 9 year old (just turned) go to another 9 year olds party which is an hours drive away (with her parents) and 6 other friends. It's a public place they are going too which will be very busy, espec in school holidays. My mind always thinks worst case scenario. She is sensible, as sensible as a 9 year old can be. I don't want to hold her back but feel she's still a bit young, maybe end of primary school age is more appropriate for these kind of parties?? All her other friends, including her, had their parties at home.

I’ve been dropping off and picking up at parties since my son was 6 or so. Is it the distance that’s worrying you?

9 is more than old enough unless there's reasons you think she can't be left alone?

Drop her off and go somewhere to have a coffee

Shes 9!!

Let her go, she will be fine.

If I trusted the parents and/or it was at a place with good supervision by activity leaders then I did this as soon as my DC were comfortable with it - so probably about age 6 with DC1 and DC2 about 8/9 for an activity he was familiar with and never if he wasn’t (due to his anxiety about new things).

I was never keen on drop offs unless I knew the parents, there are plenty of people I wouldn't trust with my pet let alone my child.

Can't you take her to the venue and just get yourself a coffee in a quiet corner?

If I had met the parents then I’d not have a problem with this.

I know the parents well....not so keen on their supervision skills! It is mainly the fact she'll be an hour away with no direct supervision in a busy public place. If it was say a village hall or even cinema I'd drop and go no worries. The place she is going is like a big soft play with no supervision from the venue, you sign a disclaimer agreeing to that too....

But if it's a big soft play, it's not like she can escape or wander off and she is 9.

8 kids and 2 adults - I’d be fine with that, especially in a public place.

I’m more uncomfortable with drop off parties at home in that middle bit between old enough to stay, but too young for a mobile phone/the confidence to say “please call my mum as I want to leave”.

Just to add they are taking them all there together so I wouldn't even be dropping at the venue.

She’s nine. She’ll stick with her friends. If it’s a big soft play she’ll be fine.

@Sparkle1138

I know the parents well....not so keen on their supervision skills! It is mainly the fact she'll be an hour away with no direct supervision in a busy public place. If it was say a village hall or even cinema I'd drop and go no worries. The place she is going is like a big soft play with no supervision from the venue, you sign a disclaimer agreeing to that too....

She will be FINE! She's 9.

Really no need to worry at all.

You are being ridiculous

I'd be fine with this and dd is 9 with ASD, immature for her age. I've been dropping her at parties since she was 7. My NT daughter has been to drop offs since aged 5. I think a bit of independence is important.

My dd went to a couple of trampoline park parties an hour away when she was 7. Parents picked her up and dropped her home. It was fine. If you know the parents I think you’re being OTT at nine! Presumably she’s going into y5 so this is the end of primary, top two years!!

If you don’t let her go I expect she will be the only one and half the fun is being picked up with the others.

Depending on how busy it is I'd feel the same.

You need to let her go OP. You will suffocate your DD at this rate!

Thanks for your responces and opinions. Sometimes your worries can get the better of you....completely agree 're the independence and yes she's going into year 5 so the apron strings need loosening!!!!

Gosh we've always taken loads of kids to places for my kids birthdays - theme parks, build a bear workshops, days out etc since other kids were maybe five or six.

@Babyroobs

Gosh we've always taken loads of kids to places for my kids birthdays - theme parks, build a bear workshops, days out etc since other kids were maybe five or six.

I should add we usually knew the parents well so they knew they could trust us !!

You could drive her yourself instead of her travelling with the others. Mine are teens now but over the years, I have seen the most disgraceful behaviour from kids whose parents think it’s fine to drop them with minimal supervision. I’ve seen a pair of 8 year olds punching and brawling at soft play, children throwing food aged about 10, total disobedience and refusal to listen at many ages. A child who blew the birthday child’s candles. A child who teased another child until they cried. A bunch of children who chanted over the happy birthday song. A child who brought a mobile phone aged 4 and refused to join in with the party and played on the phone. My friend had a magician and banned 3 children from seeing him as they had been naughty.

I hosted a party where a pair of 9yos threw food, shouted and screamed etc. I didn’t tell their parents - why would I get into confrontation/conflict with them? I just wanted them to bugger off so I hurriedly smiled at the parents and shoved them out the door.

Just because you pick up a happy child at the end from a parent with a smile, it doesn’t mean they were necessarily well behaved or well looked after.

Plus if it’s a trampoline park or similar, people do themselves injuries requiring paramedics all the time.

The irony is that my own child has ASD and I mostly stayed to police his behaviour as I didn’t want him to ruin anyone’s party. And watched other completely unsupervised kids do the above whilst mine with SN behaved 🤣

Are you always this anxious ?

9 is a perfectly reasonable age to go to a party with their friends without you. Feel sorry for the poor kid.

@Babyroobs

Gosh we've always taken loads of kids to places for my kids birthdays - theme parks, build a bear workshops, days out etc since other kids were maybe five or six.

Same here. I think it’s really odd to be so worried about it when it’s perfectly normal.

My daughter just turned 10 very recently and I took her and 4 friends out for the day to do an activity with no other parents attending.