Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Discriminating because I’m a single parent?

126 replies

LadybugsUnite · 04/08/2021 21:33

Trying to work out if I’m being unreasonable here. I’m on holiday (U.K.) with two youngish kids (both under 8). The resort won’t let me take the children swimming because I don’t have another adult to supervise the second child. I’ve explained I’m a single parent on holiday and have no option of finding someone to help. They suggested I ‘tag along’ with another family who have less children/more adults? Every time I want to swim! I’ve checked their website and they don’t mention this anywhere online. I can’t work out if I’m being unreasonable in saying I want to swim with my kids (like I do all the time at home!) or if they’re being realistic about safety?

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 04/08/2021 21:35

I think they're being perfectly reasonable. There's so many scenarios where you could loose sight of 1 of them, and the potential consequences are dire

PheasantsNest · 04/08/2021 21:37

A lot of pools have the same rules. It's for safety reasons.

Mintjulia · 04/08/2021 21:37

Ratios in our local council pool are clearly stated at 2:1 for children under 10:per adult

As long as the pool you want to swim in has a shallow end that is suitable for smaller children, and there is a trained lifeguard on duty, then I think they are being absurd.

AdaFuckingShelby · 04/08/2021 21:37

Prior warnings are definitely required. What are you supposed to do , guess their policy?

spotcheck · 04/08/2021 21:39

How far under 8?
Have they had lessons? I would have thought that you could at least use your own judgement

PineappleWilson · 04/08/2021 21:43

It's not single parent discrimination (it would equally apply if one parent couldn't swim or had a disability meaning they don't swim) but I can see why you'd be annoyed. The ratio for our local pool is 1 adult to 2 children. I would raise it as a concern as you're not able to use key facilities. No way would I accept "tag along with another family", either as the tagger or as a potential taggee.

Macncheeseballs · 04/08/2021 21:46

I've been swimming on my own with multiple kids numerous times, that's an unfair policy, of course its possible to supervise more than one, how do swimming teachers manage otherwise

LittleOwl153 · 04/08/2021 21:47

It's a difficult one. I think 1:1 assuming both kids are over 4 seems a bit much. But if you have a baby and a 3 year old I can see why. Its definitely a safety thing and will be based on the style (depth etc) and supervision (whether they have guards or not). Under 8s have always been 2 kids to 1 adult in our local pools I believe - but I think there is a tighter baby/toddler ratio.

Clearly its a generalisation as my 7.5yr old is a way better swimmer than his dad who wears strong prescription glasses and hearing aids neither of which he can wear in the pool - so I do sometimes wonder who is supervising who in that scenario!!

MotionActivatedDog · 04/08/2021 21:47

So a couple with 3 or 4 children couldn’t go in as a family either? It would have to be one parent swim with one child while the other watches the other 2/3?

Sammysquiz · 04/08/2021 21:47

It’s not an unfair policy, it will be a requirement for their insurance.

cadburyegg · 04/08/2021 21:47

How old are the kids? And is there a small/shallow pool which can be used safely?

I guess it depends on their ages and how safe it is / if there is an appropriate pool, as to whether you are being U or not.

I’m a single parent too and I can take my 3 and 6 year old to our local pool because the kids pool is 0.8m deep so my 6 year old can stand up in it. However, when they were 4 and 1, I couldn’t have done it safely on my own.

Feelingoktoday · 04/08/2021 21:50

Their pool their insurance policy.

TerraNovaTwo · 04/08/2021 21:50

I get discriminated against all the time for being a single mother. There's still a lot of stigma attached IMO

BecauseMyRingBurnsSheila · 04/08/2021 21:51

Our council pool is 2 to 1 and that seems perfectly reasonable or literally how can children swim with one parent whilst the other is at work? Or the many single parents. How do their kids get comfortable in the water?

AngryWhompingWillow · 04/08/2021 21:52

That's bonkers! I would be so pissed off. Can you complain to the head of the resort?

'Tagging along with another family' is a hideous suggestion. I doubt anyone wants some stranger hanging around with them with 2 small kids, anymore than you want to be hanging around with them!

Also, what if you can only find a family with 2 kids and 2 adults? You will still be an adult short!

Stupid! Hmm

JulesCobb · 04/08/2021 21:53

It is ridiculous that the policy was a secret. Ive 22 month gap in my two and have taken them alone on holiday in the uk for years and it has always been 1 adult to two children.

PullTheWeeds · 04/08/2021 21:53

In our local council there is one pool that has self contained kids pool with life guard and you are allowed 1:2 adult to kid ratio.

In the other pools in the council it is 1:1 ratio because the shallow end links to the deeper pool/there's a lazy river/ there's structures in the pool. I'd say they've done their risk assessment and have chosen they're ratios accordingly.

LittleOwl153 · 04/08/2021 21:53

I do think such rules should be clearer in hotel etc booking. You can complain but I doubt you'd get anywhere as if that's that's risk assessment they have to stick to it. But if it's not visible then you might get offered another activity perhaps?

But no I don't think it is discrimination for a single parent as it would be equally applied in larger parties with more kids than adults or where 1 parent just doesn't want to swim for whatever reason.

Feelingoktoday · 04/08/2021 21:54

They might have less life guards than a local authority pool. I’m sure it will be down to their public liability insurance. They will not be doing it on purpose.

HealthKick2021 · 04/08/2021 21:55

Thats bonkers. I've taken my (then) 2 & 3 year old swimming, by myself.

Knittingupastorm · 04/08/2021 21:56

I agree that it’s annoying, especially if you can’t find out about it beforehand, but it’s not discrimination against single parents. It would apply to a family with 2 parents and 3 kids.

TheFairyCaravan · 04/08/2021 21:58

That’s ridiculous.

Do they stop a family with 3 or 4 children going into swim? If they don’t how come one of them can keep an eye on 2 children but you can’t? I’d definitely complain, especially as it’s not advertised

sofiegiraffe · 04/08/2021 22:01

This is bizarre. How can you ever take them swimming on your own then?!

Original poster
LadybugsUnite · 04/08/2021 22:02

The children are 5 and 3 and can both swim unaided. I’m just so frustrated that a huge (and free!) part of my holiday plan is wasted. They love swimming and I specifically chose This resort because they have the pool attached so I knew we’d have stuff to do if it was too hot/raining/I’d run out of ideas and wanted to kill time. They knew the children’s ages when I booked so they could have told me :(

OP posts:
Clymene · 04/08/2021 22:03

They really have a 1-1 ratio in their pools? So a couple with 3 kids have to have one adult in the pool with the other outside minding the other two?

That's just bollocks.

Go and talk to management. I don't believe this is their policy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread