Discriminating because I’m a single parent?

[LadybugsUnite]

Trying to work out if I’m being unreasonable here. I’m on holiday (U.K.) with two youngish kids (both under 8). The resort won’t let me take the children swimming because I don’t have another adult to supervise the second child. I’ve explained I’m a single parent on holiday and have no option of finding someone to help. They suggested I ‘tag along’ with another family who have less children/more adults? Every time I want to swim! I’ve checked their website and they don’t mention this anywhere online. I can’t work out if I’m being unreasonable in saying I want to swim with my kids (like I do all the time at home!) or if they’re being realistic about safety?

Just to add, absolutely every pool view er been to in Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland and Scotland has had the same rules. Under 3s (I think) need 1-1. 4-8yr olds can be 2-1. Over 8s can be excluded from numbers.

Would they let you sit one in the side or similar so only one is ever in the water with you at one time?

@Smileyaxolotl1 the small child alone unsupervised at a pool is surely a huge risk. I doubt they'd permit that. Shed need someone to take responsibility for the child alone out of the water.

@Imcatmum

Just to add, absolutely every pool view er been to in Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland and Scotland has had the same rules. Under 3s (I think) need 1-1. 4-8yr olds can be 2-1. Over 8s can be excluded from numbers.

I've never had this experience - ROI.

Pools are so so dangerous for small children. I think it's the right rule. Kids die in pools all the time. Even my small hometown had a 4 yr old drown in the local pool years ago. It's really not a rare occurrence. OP it's for your kids safety.

@Sammysquiz

It’s not an unfair policy, it will be a requirement for their insurance.

No it isn't as other pools don't have this policy,

www.nationalwatersafety.org.uk/media/1148/parental-and-operator-guidance-for-child-supervision-policies-in-swimming-pools-gn014.pdf

Default ratio for under 8s is 1:2
Only going to 1:1 for pools with waves/slides etc. where it would be more difficult to keep eye contact with both children

I’d be telling them that as didn’t warn you prior to booking, they need to provide the second person (I.e staff).

My local swimming pool and the pool at the last holiday resort I went to have rules for 1 adult per child under 5 so it seems normal to me.

Actually @EarringsandLipstick, you are right that ROI is more relaxed. I think we could have had the 4 if one of the two under 4s had a floatation device which we didn't have. I don't swim often down south.

I think that's unfair - how are children supposed to learn to swim if they can't go swimming with their mum and sibling?

I used to take my twins swimming by myself when they were under two. We would sit on the steps and splash and pour water. I would be so sad to not be able to take them. I've been to a lot of pools and never seen a 1:1 requirement.

I thought this was normal? I’m a single parent to 4 so unable to take them swimming

You should have been warned about this. Doesn't the pool have lifeguards watching out for the children? Presumably, you won't be swimming yourself but will be in with them watching what they are doing?

I think you should check properly in all the documentation re swimming that this rule wasn't mentioned. If it wasn't, I think you should put in writing that access to the pool for you and the children was an intrinsic part of your holiday and, had you been informed of this rule, you would not have booked the holiday. They should try to rectify the situation or give you a significant amount of money back.

@Imcatmum

Actually *@EarringsandLipstick*, you are right that ROI is more relaxed. I think we could have had the 4 if one of the two under 4s had a floatation device which we didn't have. I don't swim often down south.

That's interesting! In the pool I went to, armbands were allowed but this ring type thing that the baby could go in wasn't - they said it was unsafe. That was fine but meant I was then holding the baby while managing the other 2.

I'm feeling a bit wistful remembering those days but I don't know why. I distinctly remember how much I hated it; I got so cold, the hassle with changing them all was huge, I was shattered. They loved it tho! It was in the early days of my separation & I did these things somewhat grimly & manically like I Had To.

YANBU if the swimming policy was not displayed on their website - you aren't a mind reader! This is in our local area

Our local pool requires an adult in arms reach of each child under 5. No sitting on the sides watching the action. You have to shadow the little ones.

The resort should inform you of the policy before booking. I would be furious. Most of the time when we book a resort, we pick the one with the best pool because we like to swim every day.

Is the pool deep? I stayed at hotel that only had one depth of pool - kids couldn't stand so it was 1:1

Do they have the same rule for parents who are still together but only one of them wants to take two children swimming? Yes? Then as frustrating as it is, it’s not discriminatory.

All the local pools here require 1 adult per child it's Not a Single parent thing it's would be the same If one parent was working and is a fairly common best practice in the leisure Industry

However it would have been helpful to have had is information beforehand

Hopefully there's other things to be doing

ImCatmum
I did it when my children were 4 and 2 at a Parkdean resorts camp. No question at all of it not being allowed.

All our local council pools are the same. No Under 8 with no adult

I'd say it is indirectly discriminatory because the result is that neither you nor your children can access the pool. A family with two adults and more than two children can access the pool in separate groups but you and your family can't access it at all.

It's worse because they didn't state the policy in the information you used to select and book the holiday.

Really not acceptable.

@BlueSurfer but they’re choosing to not enter the pool. It’s a choice that prohibits them, this is not my choice. I can’t go because I don’t have the option, not because someone else doesn’t want to come along?

All the pools round here have a 1:1 ratio for children under 5. Although I agree your holiday company should have specified it (though equally, with children of your ages, I would have checked). Not discriminatory though - there are lots of other non-single parents families who will be impacted by that.
Any other families in the same position as you?

Annoying for you but not discrimination, just health and safety.