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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think family days out are mis-sold and wish to complain?

245 replies

JustAnotherManicMunchie · 04/08/2021 20:52

Planned a lovely day out yesterday for my DC aged 10, 9 and 3 months. DC1 has ASD so takes some encouragement to get out of the house.

I spent ages planning and packing a picnic and headed off backpack in hand with visions of sunshine and the DC and I skipping through the meadows…

The reality was the DC bickered all the way to the venue, by the time we got there, DC1 was in a mood and dragging his sorry face along the ground ….

DC2 was fed up of DC1 and his endless rules.

Picked the baby up out of her car seat to find she’d had an explosive nappy all over her car seat . Cleaned up the baby whilst simultaneously trying to stop WW3 breaking out between the older two.

We carried on with our day and thought never mind, even Mary Poppins herself has blips … we can still skip in the meadows hand in hand al la perfect family style ….

We get to the playground at the venue and the DC are still bickering; before I can get to them , DC1 wallops DC2 under the wooden bridge like a troll clubbing the Billy Goats Shock . The pair of them scrapping whilst the world looks on like they’re at a paid for title fight.

So embarrassed, I hauled them out of the park and we went for a walk. I’d paid £35 to get in, we were not leaving until we had at least some fake happy family photos ….

DC2 then tripped over a tree and skinned his knees , cue screaming like an injured wild animal. We left.

Today …. Is another day I thought…. Again , bundled them in the car and I promised myself today would be better and true family day out.

Twenty minutes in to the journey, I was screeching like a deranged lunatic over the pair of them ducking fighting and arguing again. I told them they were ruining family days out and I was so sick of their selfish bickering. I really lost my shit and told them they were making family life miserable and I wanted to go home and forget the day out ….

We went on to the seaside and had a fabulous time Grin … before getting in the car and enduring a meltdown for the whole journey home.

I think I’ve been mis sold family days out and I’d like a refund on all the family days out we’ve ever had which follow the exact same pattern ….

Can anyone point me in the right direction? Grin

AIBU ?

OP posts:
Pliudev · 05/08/2021 17:57

I think you need to look at things differently OP. You didn't end up at A&E so that's a win win situation isn't it?

Bard6817 · 05/08/2021 18:01

I turned the car around and told them their bickering had ruined the fun. They were shocked. Silence all the way home. I didn’t relent…. Got home, bed time intold both of them. DP backed me. Kids never did it again. They were 12 and 7 tho. And most upset they lost out on a day out.

Grellbunt · 05/08/2021 18:05

A lot of this is Affluenza...

Runnerduck34 · 05/08/2021 18:06

Aah this has reminded me parenting is hard work, I have 4 teenagers just walked along our local seafront feeling so sad none of them would leave their bedrooms to come with me, seeing families with younger dc feeling nostalgic for when they were little, youve just cured me🤣 Honestly you are doing nothing, sometimes everything goes pear shaped , particularly when you are outnumbered. Try not to beat yourself up and keep going.

Mackmama · 05/08/2021 18:11

I think that kind of thing can happen to any one, if you wake up and one family member isn’t up for it then you’re screwed aren’t you. I find days out that cost a lot of money are so much pressure, we try and make use of what’s free/low cost around us and mainly just go fairly local so there isn’t too much travelling involved then if somebody is having a strop you can go home (and open the wine)!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/08/2021 18:11

I did apologise and give them big hugs

Why are YOU apologising for them acting like little shits? SORRY I mean acting like siblings.

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 05/08/2021 18:26

I think I owe my parents a substantial amount of compensation…I remember whinging my way around many a beauty spot…many of them in far flung exotic locations too. I’m imagining the day time TV ads ‘have you been mis-sold family? Call our claims hotline now and see if you’re entitled to compensation…no win no fee…’

Romney981 · 05/08/2021 18:35

Mine used to play a game called "yellow car" in the car. Basically the rules were whoever saw a yellow car first was allowed to punch the others while shouting "yellow car" - It kept them entertained

WimpoleHat · 05/08/2021 18:51

@Romney981

Mine used to play a game called "yellow car" in the car. Basically the rules were whoever saw a yellow car first was allowed to punch the others while shouting "yellow car" - It kept them entertained
😂😂😂😂😂
ShellyShore · 05/08/2021 18:52

I feel your pain op.

In the year dot when my 3 were school age I remember taking an age to do a lovely picnic for us all to enjoy on a day out.
After traipsing on and off 2 buses we arrived at the park we sat down on the grass ready to unpack and enjoy the picnic when a huge bastard dog sauntered over to us, cocked its leg and pissed in the picnic bag. Thick yellow piss all over the food and bag.

Eloisedublin123 · 05/08/2021 18:57

Fake happy family photos 😂 yep these are my family days out too OP!

Bingbongbash · 05/08/2021 18:59

My DC argue at least once when we go out but I enjoy it anyway. It's fun having fun. Don't take the arguing too seriously. They don't. They'll have forgotten what they were arguing about 5 minutes later.

Bertiebiscuit · 05/08/2021 19:05

Maybe try cheap days out - walks, beach, places where you don't have to pay to get in then you can go home or somewhere else as soon as it isn't fun - "family" entertainments usually expensive rip offs imo

Blankscreen · 05/08/2021 19:27

I remember arguing with my sister in the car and my mum pulled over and refused to drive as we were arguing so much

It must have been winter as I remember is getting dark and I then started crying because 'daddy would be hungry and needed his dinner'

I can imagine my mum wanted to throttle me.

DD (7) seems to pretty much moan about everything on every day out ever.

heidipi · 05/08/2021 19:31

Very much enjoying the solidarity on this thread! Before I read it I was planning to take the DC to the nearest beach today, which is about 1.5 hrs drive. As soon as I mentioned it the questions and gripes started - I later heard them whispering "it's a trick to get us outdoors and off screens". Anyway, in the end the weather was rubbish so I took them to the cinema instead :)

AfternoonToffee · 05/08/2021 20:15

@supamummy

I still have the same. Dd21 living away from home Dd18 home for the holidays. I have multiple health issues. Took them by car to the seaside yesterday. At these ages they don't just bicker with each other, Dd21 knows "absolutely everything about everything" and has to tell you how wrong you are. I feel for you OP
You're supposed to be telling us that it gets better, not just evolves into something else.
EastWestWhosBest · 05/08/2021 20:24

As a primary school teacher I can tell you they are the same on school trips.

They spend the whole time on the coach asking when they can eat lunch, except when you go past McDonald’s at which point the whole coach loses its collective shit.

Then the whole first part of the trip asking when they can eat lunch.
Then after lunch they spend the rest of the trip asking when they are getting back on the coach.

The next day when you ask them about the trip they cannot tell you one single thing that happened or that they saw.

AfternoonToffee · 05/08/2021 20:30

Oh and we are on holiday, all week dd1 has refused to even step on the sand. Tonight we went down to the seafront for our tea, she decided to go for a paddle, no towel, nothing. Dd2 joined in and they probably had the most fun they have had all week. It was freezing as well.

NothingEverChangesButTheShoes · 05/08/2021 20:31

I ruined a fair few 'days out' as a child and teen. My parents are keen on walking. Not serious all kitted out walking but they type of walking around a place but not actually going in. We'd go to Blackpool and go through the arcade on the pier, look at the tower, look in the window of the Sandcastle. Walk along the beach to look at the donkeys and finally, after having eaten our sandwiches and watched everyone else eating fish and chips we'd go to the Pleasure Beach but not go on any rides. They would make us watch everyone else. Same with stately homes with a fee to go in, the beach in the rain. I was always desperate to go to a gallery or a museum and begged, with little success. I suspected that they were short of money for things they didn't enjoy.

I may be slightly salty but I have just returned from a UK holiday with them, DH and DD. It was awful weather and I suggested a free museum with loads of things to do. DH (sick of endless walking, beaches and looking) offered to buy lunch despite us buying all the cottage food for the week. (DM complained I cooked spag b with garlic and fresh stuff and not a jar of dolmio.) Did we go. No we did not. Off to the beach we drove to sit in the wind and rain. DD was cold. I was back to being 15 and DH went for the longest run ever to get away.

Yeah, I am not keen on days out unless I am on my own doing my own thing. No kids. No houdini DH and no miserable parents.

dementor72 · 05/08/2021 20:38

I took my children on day trips without my partner as he couldn’t cope outside the house very well ( autistic)
We were great until driving home , knackered , losing my way in the dark ( pre - Sat Nav) it was me who lost it and had a rant about “always having to do everything “
Felt so sorry for my kids sat quietly in the back.
So it’s not always the kids !

Titsywoo · 05/08/2021 20:42

My kids moaned most of the way around Disney World in Florida when they were 8 and 5. That was not a cheap few days out Grin

They are much better now they are teens. Best thing to do is lower your expectations. Really, really low.

Cornishgorl44 · 05/08/2021 21:20

So feel your pain OP. Our family days out used to start with a ‘ sturdy chat ‘ before we left the door as you could guarantee that DC would start killing each other the moment they woke up. After a telling off they were always much better. Miss them now they are both working!

FanOnCurtainsClosed · 05/08/2021 21:20

Just remembered when mine were little I would take them to town and get a free Waitrose coffee, let them put pennies in the charity well and then take them to the bottle bank.

Best days ever.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 05/08/2021 21:21

The secret is not to take them anywhere exciting or costs money until they are literally begging you to take them somewhere.
It’s reverse psychology. They want what they can’t have.

Mumtoone39 · 05/08/2021 21:44

Not day out but holiday. I have just posted my fake happy holiday snaps on Facebook. The reality -- both children had a vomiting bug, only one day was vomit free. The one year old also added in explosive diarrhoea just to up the stakes a bit. The scene for this extravaganza? A f**king camping pod. It was like "Tenko" only without the humidity.