To think family days out are mis-sold and wish to complain?

[JustAnotherManicMunchie]

Planned a lovely day out yesterday for my DC aged 10, 9 and 3 months. DC1 has ASD so takes some encouragement to get out of the house.

I spent ages planning and packing a picnic and headed off backpack in hand with visions of sunshine and the DC and I skipping through the meadows…

The reality was the DC bickered all the way to the venue, by the time we got there, DC1 was in a mood and dragging his sorry face along the ground ….

DC2 was fed up of DC1 and his endless rules.

Picked the baby up out of her car seat to find she’d had an explosive nappy all over her car seat . Cleaned up the baby whilst simultaneously trying to stop WW3 breaking out between the older two.

We carried on with our day and thought never mind, even Mary Poppins herself has blips … we can still skip in the meadows hand in hand al la perfect family style ….

We get to the playground at the venue and the DC are still bickering; before I can get to them , DC1 wallops DC2 under the wooden bridge like a troll clubbing the Billy Goats . The pair of them scrapping whilst the world looks on like they’re at a paid for title fight.

So embarrassed, I hauled them out of the park and we went for a walk. I’d paid £35 to get in, we were not leaving until we had at least some fake happy family photos ….

DC2 then tripped over a tree and skinned his knees , cue screaming like an injured wild animal. We left.

Today …. Is another day I thought…. Again , bundled them in the car and I promised myself today would be better and true family day out.

Twenty minutes in to the journey, I was screeching like a deranged lunatic over the pair of them ducking fighting and arguing again. I told them they were ruining family days out and I was so sick of their selfish bickering. I really lost my shit and told them they were making family life miserable and I wanted to go home and forget the day out ….

We went on to the seaside and had a fabulous time … before getting in the car and enduring a meltdown for the whole journey home.

I think I’ve been mis sold family days out and I’d like a refund on all the family days out we’ve ever had which follow the exact same pattern ….

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

AIBU ?

My parents have a lovely set of photos of our long planned trip to London, Stratford, Oxford and the Cotswolds when I was 13.
In each and every one I have a face like a slapped arse.
I remember absolutely loving the trip ( nearly 40 years ago now ) , DP's recollections are that I only came alive in the massive HMV & sulked the rest of the time

Beggars dog wins the Internet!

I can't even complain. I was absolutely GHASTLY on any trip or holiday as a kid, and often refused to get out of the car. I hated walking with a passion (absolutely love it now) and didn't understand why adults with all that freedom would actually choose to leave the house.

I'm normal now.

We saw local alpha mum at local beauty spot, her three immaculately dressed kids were all kicking off, they went ten metres from the car for a few minutes and were then bundled back in.
I enjoyed the later Facebook #making memories, 'love autumn days with my girls' with no hint of humour or irony.

When our kids were little (about 4 and 6) we took them to Paultons Park for almost the whole day, leaving about 4.30pm so we could pop into a kitchen showroom on the way home. We were in that kitchen showroom for 15 minutes maximum before we has to leave because they were bickering so much. The next day their grandma asked him what they’d done the day before and they moaned and moaned about how they had to spend HOURS in the kitchen showroom and barely got even a glimpse of Paultons.

My dd (10) struggles with anxiety whenever we're leaving the house, she hates the unknown and the anticipation is too much for her. She picks fights with ds is a bid to control something, anything. If we're driving a longer distance I make sure she has her headphones, kindle and fave soft toy and that helps - keeps her plugged in. Ds is much easier - he enjoys the excitement and can be bribed with the promise of fun.

We went on one yesterday, a hike about 2 hours away in a beautiful beautiful place. By the middle everyone was bickering, saying it was never ending, saying they wished they were home. I stopped taking photos 3 times because the atmosphere was so shit and I didn't want fake smiles when everyone was in such a bad way!! Then we got food that cost money we really didn't have and the food wasn't great but we haven't eaten out since covid and the kids are still talking about it! I'd say family days out 70 percent people on edge 30 percent fun(we had some great 'look at that moments!)!(but worth it for laughing about it later and seeing new things!)

‘I wanted to go to the pound shop!’

I enjoyed the later Facebook #making memories, 'love autumn days with my girls' with no hint of humour or irony.
A mum around here posted 2 photos of her and the kids at Alton towers looking miserable next to them all beaming- she titled it making memories 50%good 50%want to bang head off wall. Loved it!!

my girls used to bicker in the car. I used to stop and make them get out and walk (they were about 8 & 10). I'd keep my eye on them of course, once they knew my threats weren't empty they stopped it (still fought like cats/dogs at home). They are 37/40 now, I do feel your pain

@Spudlet that's incredible 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I’ve pulled over and made them walk home before. Age 14/12 ish.

I swear to God the next car we get is going to be an old black cab, that way they will be trapped behind a glass screen and I will be spared the bloody fighting over everything, who breathed near someone for example. Feel your pain OP, little ungrateful sods!

Can’t you take them back and get a refund? If you still have the receipts I believe they should still be valid.

Or just take the batteries out, put them in a cupboard and then forget about them?

You’d think we’d learn from past experiences!!!!!

Ds2 - still remember when he was 5 we went on a long walk, up a very big hill, scrambling over rocks, pissing it down with rain, full waterproofs, the mists cleared and the view was stunning. Ds2 jugged and kissed me and said he was having the best time ever. I mean - wtf?

Better than everything else I’d chucked money at, travelled miles, got up at the crack of dawn for………

Thank you for this thread OP!

I have 3 dds, 20, 18 and 14. Youngest is 14 and has ASD and has spoilt many a day out and in fact entire holiday. I feel a bit better now!

Mine are still the same at 13,11 and 10.
The 10 year old cant take a joke at all.He sits there with a po face on him.

He was down in my sons and gs and moaned the baby wet with him with a water gun.
They where all soaking.

Oh and the "hes looking out my window" "hes breathing on me".
The last time i really brought them out anywhere on my own was about 4 years ago.Went to the museum and for food.They never stopped fucking moaning.So after that i told them i wasnt bringing them anywhere without their dad.
And i have stuck with it,if i have to listen to them well so can he.

@CatNamedEaster

We've had days like this before and only have the one DS, whinging, injuries, packed lunch dropped all over the ground. Fuck it was painful. The only solution I have is to have much lower expectations and don't imagine an ideal path for the day to take, so that the day can generally be classed as a success most times. We don't do big expensive days to theme parks so that helps that we don't feel pressure to get our money's worth all day.

If we are going to a museum, we accept that the ratio of exhibits:eating in a basement picnic area with 25 other families will probably be 1:5 at best.

When we went to London last summer, DS reported that his favourite bit was the little playground we killed half an hour in before getting the train home but actually we all enjoyed the whole day.

Oh and I bought a wheely shopping trolley. Best thing ever for a day out. You basically become a magician because you can fit every conceivable snack, puzzle book, change of clothes and fave soft toy to help get through the day.

Genius!

When we were kids we wouldn't have quarreled in the car - had we done so, it would have been pointed out to us it was distracting to whoever was driving, dangerous, and not allowed. And that would have been the end of it. Had we behaved badly, the car would have been turned round immediately and we'd have been taken home. And we knew it. So we never thought of chancing it.

It’s your attitude that’s all wrong 😑

You need to accept if for the challenge it is - ie to get a Facebook worthy photo of a wonderful second of your day with a far away backdrop.

Equipment required are earplugs for you and sufficient cash to by a big ice cream for in front of each child’s ‘joyous face’

I’d paid £35 to get in, we were not leaving until we had at least some fake happy family photos ….

OP I'm with you, mine do nothing but argue. Take them somewhere free a few times and return home immediately the arguing starts and leave the em bored in their rooms (sadly it only works for a short time but a short time is better than no time). Agree with putting the older dc in the front seat. It's made our journeys far more bearable and means we actually get to the destination at least with minimal arguing. Just do not put dc2 behind them!

I remember my brother and I begging my parents for months to take us to the imperial war museum in London. At the age of 9 I honestly thought we would get to climb on board fighter jets, drive tanks and operate machine guns. Of course the reality was the slightly more sombre account of industrialised warfare and the devastating human cost of global war and genocide. Needless to say we were bored shitless after 5 mins and then begged my dad to go to the park outside to kick a ball around.

I find family days out painful, stressful and boring. Trying to keep an eye on DC zooming off means DH and I can’t relax and end up bickering. I have a chronic pain condition that flares up and down so I often end up in pain just sitting or walking. Will never forget the horrendous Safari park bus years ago, so bumpy I was trying to swallow tramadol without any water, DH was telling me not to overreact and I kept grabbing toddler DD to stop her falling out amongst the deer and buffalo type things as she was leaning over the chain! In all the photos we’re of course smiling happily.

I took my kids to a indigenous village, was absolutely amazing except that my 7yo complained loudly every step of the way. At the end he announced that it was a brilliant tour and "can we do it again?" 🙄

I have learned to stop with the days out though, youngest (who's on the spectrum) hates non-routine stuff so small steps with him.

A couple of years ago my daughter begged to go rock pooling after seeing the Peppa episode where they do that.

We buy a net, we research the beaches near us to find the best one. We set off. The journey is endless, hampered by trying to help an injured fox in the middle of the road without getting rabies, a tyre warning light going off meaning a long diversion to a garage where they couldn't find anything wrong (we never did and it never happened again) and endless traffic. We get there. We can't find anything interesting in the rock pools. We get a drink and a snack in the local cafe and head back. My daughter said the best bit of the day was the brownie she had in the cafe. Next time we are skipping the day out and just buying her a cake in Sainsbury's cafe up the road.

Apparently if you dress them in Boden or Joules you won't have a problem , 'tis the top tip from Yummy Mummies

[quote CertieCumboyle]@Progress2019 I love it. Reminds me of my DD's 'this is me' book when she was about 5. In it, she declared "We went on a family walk. It was very long and very horrible". She drew a picture of the horrible walk for good measure.[/quote]
My eldest at about the same age said 'This is my mum. She is always tired'.