To think family days out are mis-sold and wish to complain?

[JustAnotherManicMunchie]

Planned a lovely day out yesterday for my DC aged 10, 9 and 3 months. DC1 has ASD so takes some encouragement to get out of the house.

I spent ages planning and packing a picnic and headed off backpack in hand with visions of sunshine and the DC and I skipping through the meadows…

The reality was the DC bickered all the way to the venue, by the time we got there, DC1 was in a mood and dragging his sorry face along the ground ….

DC2 was fed up of DC1 and his endless rules.

Picked the baby up out of her car seat to find she’d had an explosive nappy all over her car seat . Cleaned up the baby whilst simultaneously trying to stop WW3 breaking out between the older two.

We carried on with our day and thought never mind, even Mary Poppins herself has blips … we can still skip in the meadows hand in hand al la perfect family style ….

We get to the playground at the venue and the DC are still bickering; before I can get to them , DC1 wallops DC2 under the wooden bridge like a troll clubbing the Billy Goats . The pair of them scrapping whilst the world looks on like they’re at a paid for title fight.

So embarrassed, I hauled them out of the park and we went for a walk. I’d paid £35 to get in, we were not leaving until we had at least some fake happy family photos ….

DC2 then tripped over a tree and skinned his knees , cue screaming like an injured wild animal. We left.

Today …. Is another day I thought…. Again , bundled them in the car and I promised myself today would be better and true family day out.

Twenty minutes in to the journey, I was screeching like a deranged lunatic over the pair of them ducking fighting and arguing again. I told them they were ruining family days out and I was so sick of their selfish bickering. I really lost my shit and told them they were making family life miserable and I wanted to go home and forget the day out ….

We went on to the seaside and had a fabulous time … before getting in the car and enduring a meltdown for the whole journey home.

I think I’ve been mis sold family days out and I’d like a refund on all the family days out we’ve ever had which follow the exact same pattern ….

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

AIBU ?

YANBU OP, who do I speak to about the refunds

I learned in lockdown my kids bicker less when forced to stay indoors! All that time, money and effort wasted on miserable underwhelming days they don't appreciate when all along we could have just stayed at home, put them inside a bedsheet and watch them play for hours (yes my kids did actually play with a bedsheet for about 3 days in lockdown).

There's a mum of a child in DD's class, she is the coolest mum ever, I remember when i had to leave a soft play party early to make it to a fucking peppa pig stage show, I was quite stressed trying to tear the kids away from their friends and she said "See I never bother with anything like shows or days out, life's too short for that kind of misery and they've never known any different". Her boys are 2 of the happiest kids I know!

I don't know about everybody else but my kids measure a bad day out on wether one terrible thing happened.

Example: went to a theme park last week. Spent a small fortune on a trip down, overnight stay etc, fucking ARCADES (£45 in one night!!) more than I can afford really as I'm a single parent and we are going on holiday at the end of August...but thought sod it I'll treat them.

Had a great day. Loads of fun rides, hardly any queues, the arcades robbed me blind, saw a magic act, ate some amazing pizza, met some Paw Patrol characters. 10 solid hours of fun. Except DD got bitten by a spider and DS fell and got his knee slightly wet so of course all in all it was a HORRIBLE day and NO they did NOT have a good time.

Ungrateful fuckers.

One of the worst I recall was on a caravan holiday. There was a big lego exhibition nearby. I booked (expensive) tickets for Lego obsessed 5 year old son. It was a rainy day, so thought I’d played a blinder. We were there for 15 minutes before he declared he wanted to leave. Counting up the price per minute of the tickets (about £5 per minute if we’d left then) I’m afraid I made him stay for a full hour to ‘get my money’s worth’ cue loads of moaning and we ended the holiday a day early.

Then there was the time we surprised DD with a weekend trip to Spain, we pull up at the Airport SURPRISE we’re going to Spain for the weekend. DD bursts out crying as she wanted to go to the pound shop. FUCK MY LIFE.

Brilliant.

Surely the reason that God invented televisions and tablets was so that you don’t have to endure this sort of shit?

“Then there was the time we surprised DD with a weekend trip to Spain, we pull up at the
Airport SURPRISE we’re going to Spain for the weekend. DD bursts out crying”

I think ‘surprising’ some children in this way will just cause anxiety. You did it once, didn’t go well but then you did it again??? Recipe for a meltdown.

@Merryoldgoat

All morning: when are we going to the farm? Are we leaving soon? Can we go now? How far is the farm? When will we be at the farm?

Arrive at the farm: SMELLY FARM! Can we go home NOW?

Cunts.

This made me chuckle because I recognise my life.

KOKO

I can remember these days well, I used to make sure my boys had a seat in between them! They would usually watch a dvd in the car, that helped keeping them occupied for a bit. My boys used to fight and bicker constantly too. They are grown up now 20 & 18 and best friends!

Ahhhhh, memories. I was an adult for this one, but this was my favourite with my family.

Holiday in Norfolk, we had booked a day boat on the broads. There’s me (young adult, holidaying with family doe to singleness and skintness, and nice to spend the time with them). Teenagers x 2 (DB and DSis). One younger child of maybe 10? (DStepbro). DM and DStepdad. At this point I just tell you that DStepdad is 6’7” - this is relevant. And beloved but highly geriatric family dog.

We had booked a day boat on the Broads, woke up on the day and it was pissing down, really coming in buckets. So we’re all trying to get into the damn boat as quickly as possible, the deck is wet and slippery, and the doorway into the interior is quite low. The kids are all elbowing to get inside, DM is refereeing, DStepdad is trying to unload the various bits of picnic, coats etc from the car which is taking several trips, and I’m in charge of Geriatric Dog.

There’s quite a big step down to get into the boat and Geriatric Dog is very wobbly on his paws. He’s also quite large. So I’m trying to lift him down onto this slippery, wobbly surface and he’s getting both soaked (me too - none of us had coats on, god knows why) and very nervous, despite my coaxing efforts. So his bowels let go on the deck 🙈 Which stinks to high heaven of course, although it’s not the runs, I can clear it up quite easily. However, the stench pervades the inside of the boat and DStepbro, who doesn’t live with Geriatric Dog and is thus not hardened to these things happening, starts shrieking about the smell then retching and heaving dramatically into the boat’s little sink. Meanwhile DStepdad is still valiantly trying to get all the stuff on board, hears the fuss, assumes (not unreasonably) that someone has at the very least lost an arm and dashes in to assist, forgets to duck for the door and smacks his head on the doorframe hard enough to see stars 🙈 All this readers, and we were still bloody well moored to the side!

We then managed to clear everything up, tend to the wounded, and set off, the sun came out, and the boat proceeded to break down Fortunately we were in a quite scenic little broad and we had a picnic so we just called the company and waited for them to send a little motor boat out with a mechanic.

However, it is a day that has passed into family legend…. #makingmemories #blessed 😂

We actually have decent days out with the kids. They behave really well.

My dh on the other hand is the one who’s moaning and miserable. Usually he fakes a smile and puts up with it and then lets out the moaning when he gets home

Occasionally he will be quiet whilst out and about so he doesn’t snap

Rarely, he will snap.

But there we go

@Spudlet that made me laugh. It's the epic disaster days out that you look back on & laugh at!

@dementedma

Driving to France from Scotland with DD1 and Dd2. We had travelled about 200 feet. Hadnt reached the end of the fucking road before the first fight and the immortal line: "She's beathing on me!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

We went to Winter Wonderland when DD was 11 and DS2 with ADHD was 7. All was fine until I tried to book an Uber to get home, I was trying to get DS2 not to bolt, while simultaneously concentrating on the app. I got a dirty look from a passer by ( I'm autistic) and yelled "he has ADHD and I'd rather he wasn't killed on the road!" The actual day was lovely.

We used to go on the Morden Hall Park (National Trust) Easter nature trail, last time was also the same year, it was so hot and we were all fed up and dehydrated when we got to the end, as there was no way we could have carried enough water. We're doing the Adventure Quest at Kenwood next year instead.

I used to love our days out, lots of lovely National Trust visits and walks in the Peak District. The girls are 16 and 18 now and not really interested. I miss those times, some of the happiest days of my life.
Make the most of your DC while they are young I would say. You don’t need to spend loads of money, you just need to manage your expectations.

@MattDillonsEyebrows

Ah balls! I’m just in the process of planning our first proper day trip to London next month!! This thread is making me nervous!! Got 5 & 4 year old DD’s and it’s what they tell me they want to do!! I’m trying to expect scrapping, so I’m not too disappointed when it happens!

Can anyone recommend a lovely family friendly restaurant near Westminster or Waterloo tube stations that won’t mind tired,crabby children around 5/6pm?

We got back yesterday. Stayed in the same location. The Westminster grill house is a minute walk from Westminster bridge. Easy. Decent wine thankfully.

The joy of holidays/days out is in the anticipation and the recollection (heavily distorted through rose-tinted glasses). The bit in the middle just has to be endured.

@JustAnotherManicMunchie

They were separated in the car !

DC1 is unpredictable so he has to be in the front with me to stop him knocking seven bells out of his brother.

They still manage to wind each other up. “DS2 is making funny noises….” “No I’m not …” “Yes you are …” “Muuuummmm” ad finitum.

Are there any consequences for them behaving like this?

This is a habit they have gotten into and is to them now just "how they behave" but is there any way you could come down on it and stop allowing it to go on?

It sounds miserable. Of course you expect some bickering between siblings but this sounds extreme. You are the parent here so create some consequences and stick to them until the behaviour starts to change?

Oh yes the bickering, ruins all the best plans.
When mine started I’d turn the music up in just the front of the car so I couldn’t hear them.

Standard day out.. I have 5 children and a step child. All between the ages of 4 months and 13. I'm taking them for a day out at the weekend, all of them. Send help.

I think all being stuck together more than we usually would over the last 12-18 months has had this effect! My kids don't bicker too much and ever really have but this summer holiday is another level of bickering! They are bored and fed up with each other.

As far as the car goes, headphones and music or a dvd player always worked a treat when mine were younger. Oh, and good old bribery.

“He’s looking out of my window, mum, tell him to stop looking out my window”.

In the car.
On the drive. Engine not even started.

Sigh.

Aaaaaaand YES I appreciate that they are my gifts from God, my precious babies.
But some days, some days I actually fucking hate them. They are dicks.

@Livingintheclouds - we did something similar. Took DT’s to New York. Planned our days so we saw everything. Half way through the holiday, DS asked to go to the park. I thought he meant Central Park but no, he wanted to go to the local park at home!

On our trip to Disney World in Florida DS 6 was a total moany pain - however, I wasn’t the only parent hissing ‘bloody smile, you’re in the happiest place on earth!’ It seemed endemic!

OP. I paid to go to our local farm. DS (5) fell on a roundabout at the playground. Had to leave to go to A&E and have his head glued.

Cost me £25 for 15mins.

OP you’re not alone, mine bicker like anything or get on really well which is almost more worrying.

One half term, many moons ago, decided we had to have at least one day out. Picked the James Bond car exhibition. Oh the whining all the way there, especially from eldest who would happily never go out but stay home glued to YouTube etc. Got there, wow, amazing best exhibition, glad we came. So now we’re going home? Us parents decide let’s go for lunch in Chinatown, it’s Chinese New Year. Cue more whining, massive strops. We have food, best Chinese meal ever they say. I think we did go home after that.

This year, let’s go to Camden Market, have a look maybe buy yourselves something (mum’s treat) for it being a shit school year but getting through GCSE and A levels. Cue why are we here? You’re forcing us to buy something, it’s too much pressure, we want to go home.

I have now sworn off any more days out with them, but apparently this is wrong too.

We haven’t had all bad days out but when on those days they’re whinging they never let up.