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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this too much food??

297 replies

Nightgardenisodd · 04/08/2021 18:43

Toddler Dd, 3, her dinner today. Very hot where we are, lots of salads etc. We made bread today, so possibly a bit more than normal here, with the bread included.
My mum says I feed her too much food and no wonder she doesn’t eat it all. I don’t expect her to eat it all, but like to give her a varied choice in the hope she chooses parts and eats something, which she does.
Dd is a normal weight etc.
Aibu or is this an okay amount of food for her for dinner?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nightgardenisodd · 04/08/2021 19:42

@minty133 Portuguese cheese is..cheese from Portugal, where we live. It’s homemade bread she helped me make today, doesn’t look the best admittedly, tasted good though

OP posts:
Tibtab · 04/08/2021 19:43

They sell plates like that from Bamboo Bamboo, they have suction bases too!

Tibtab · 04/08/2021 19:44

Meal looks fine! It’s not like you’re giving her chicken nuggets and chips.

supernooodle · 04/08/2021 19:44

I feel like an Instagram page is about to be dropped

clickychicky · 04/08/2021 19:46

@Tibtab

They sell plates like that from Bamboo Bamboo, they have suction bases too!
They do but I still find the plates are easily pulled off and thrown across the floor. They are great though.
Monkey987 · 04/08/2021 19:47

I think the problem here is older generations don't like waste and encourage all food to be finished whereas recently (in my opinion) it is seen as being a good thing for a child to recognise when they are full and not have to eat everything on their plate.
Do what you think is right! It's your child!

Tibtab · 04/08/2021 19:49

@clickychicky
I found it makes a difference what surface they are stuck too, high chair - fine, kitchen table - straight on the floor 😂

godmum56 · 04/08/2021 19:49

@Lifeisaminestrone

I will probably be criticised by my comment but I am in agreement with your DM - I think it is too much.

I would give one protein choice, I think three protein choices is excessive not from a health perspective but from an entitlement- picking and choosing seems wrong to me when there are so many children without food (thinking of the Rashford campaign here).

Maybe your DM probably remembers family members talking of rationing, and with my family emigrating to avoid death camps I’m afraid I can’t tolerate children thinking waste is ok. I don’t mind children not eating everything but I don’t agree with picking and choosing.

I also don’t agree with the argument the parents will nibble afterwards as that then creates a hierarchy of food. Food should be shared.

Anyway I’m sure I will face a lot of abuse but think worth having another point of view!

OP says it isn't wasted, its put back in the fridge for the next meal.
Ostryga · 04/08/2021 19:49

@minty133

What the heck is Portuguese cheese? And why does the bread look like dried-up tuna?
Jesus Christ imagine being so ignorant you don’t understand what cheese from another country may be.

You know not everyone lives in England right 🤣

clickychicky · 04/08/2021 19:50

[quote Tibtab]@clickychicky
I found it makes a difference what surface they are stuck too, high chair - fine, kitchen table - straight on the floor 😂[/quote]
Ah, I had the opposite issue!

clickychicky · 04/08/2021 19:50

Getting it a bit damp helps though

Original poster
Nightgardenisodd · 04/08/2021 19:51

Dm is weird about food, always questions that I feed her too much, to me, it’s the amount I’ve always given, never thought to ask anyone else or look up how much she should have. With her saying it a lot recently, I’ve started to think, am I giving her a shit load 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣Dm is very slim though and barely eats, if we go to theirs for dinner, we get such a small portions

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 04/08/2021 19:52

Interesting thread because that's so much more food than either of my two would have eaten at 3. I'm clearly in the minority though. Dd, 10, still wouldn't eat all of that now.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/08/2021 19:52

Giving a child choices on their plate is teaching 'entitlement'...

Well I have heard it all now!

Trying to force children to eat things they don't like, refusing to give them choices (I mean, how outrageous, the choice of cheese and egg, WOW, such decadant foods literally no one can have normally) - thats a cracking way to develop food issues in a kid.

clickychicky · 04/08/2021 19:52

@minty133

What the heck is Portuguese cheese? And why does the bread look like dried-up tuna?
What do you think Portuguese cheese is?
Original poster
Nightgardenisodd · 04/08/2021 19:53

@arethereanyleftatall Really? Perhaps I have started off by giving Dd lots 🤷🏻‍♀️She’s very active though (too active) and not much weight on her, so I’m assuming is ok

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2021 19:53

I think it looks a lot, and more than I'd give my 3 yo (mine are older now).

But it looks lovely, and more importantly, it's what suits your DD, and you. It's great she'll eat that range of food & picking & leaving some behind sounds fine.

I just preferred to give them smaller meals of more 'dinner' type food & have the eaten, it would have annoyed me to have half eaten food! And if it was a tea, rather than dinner (using that in the Irish sense, so I think that would be supper in the UK parlance?!!), I'd make a sandwich with maybe some cut up veg or a yogurt.

But doesn't matter really, once your DD is happy & eating.

Tibtab · 04/08/2021 19:54

@Nightgardenisodd

Dm is weird about food, always questions that I feed her too much, to me, it’s the amount I’ve always given, never thought to ask anyone else or look up how much she should have. With her saying it a lot recently, I’ve started to think, am I giving her a shit load 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣Dm is very slim though and barely eats, if we go to theirs for dinner, we get such a small portions
I would try and avoid your mother passing on her weird under eating and food habits to your DD. She clearly has a lot of anxiety.
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 04/08/2021 19:54

It's very filling, especially when hot.

I think it's too much for a 3yo.

clickychicky · 04/08/2021 19:54

Seriously it's fine. I'd served that to a 2 year old. They'd probably throw loads on the floor mind

arethereanyleftatall · 04/08/2021 19:55

Oh - sorry. I didn't mean it's not ok. It's clearly fine for your dd. I just was saying it's far more than my dds ate.

clickychicky · 04/08/2021 19:55

They might leave some bread. But all the rest would go.

LH1987 · 04/08/2021 19:55

Cheese requires Mayo in my opinion! 😂

Also in answer to your question, no clearly that dinner is fine, while we were waiting for the picture I was expected see a full bucket of kfc.

Benjispruce5 · 04/08/2021 20:05

I’d say one piece of bread and either egg or cheese. Looks lovely though but would be more than enjoy for me for lunch!

Benjispruce5 · 04/08/2021 20:05

More than enough