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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this too much food??

297 replies

Nightgardenisodd · 04/08/2021 18:43

Toddler Dd, 3, her dinner today. Very hot where we are, lots of salads etc. We made bread today, so possibly a bit more than normal here, with the bread included.
My mum says I feed her too much food and no wonder she doesn’t eat it all. I don’t expect her to eat it all, but like to give her a varied choice in the hope she chooses parts and eats something, which she does.
Dd is a normal weight etc.
Aibu or is this an okay amount of food for her for dinner?

OP posts:
c24680 · 04/08/2021 20:41

My DD is 3 and would eat that much but she does not snack at all. We have lunch 11:30 the dinner 4:30-5 so quite a while in between.

Only you know what your daughter wants. Parents are a different generation and everything has changed so just take the comments with a pinch of salt!

Runningquestion · 04/08/2021 20:43

That looks so nice! I’d definitely eat it.

It would have been far too much for my 3 year old (with bread) and if I’m honest, add another slice of cheese to it and I’d be full on that (NOT A COMPETITIVE UNDER EATER! I have to eat small meals with small snacks in between because my stomach feels too full on big meals - I actually eat more than most people I know when it’s all added together. I can tell that that would give me a distended tummy from experience).

liveforsummer · 04/08/2021 20:45

@TheCupboardOfChaos

I'd say it's a huge amount of food, which I would find a challenge - but if it's a case of your DD having a taste of a variety of things, that's a different matter.

I would also say it's nobody else's business.

Really? It's on a tiny wooden plate intended for weaning babies. If it's on that plate it's not too much for a 3 year olds especially one who isn't expected to finish. It's a great variety and one my dc will still enjoy now (in much larger portions). An adult struggling to finish this as a meal is the epitome of mumsnet competitive under eating 😆
KingdomScrolls · 04/08/2021 20:46

It's an egg, a thin slice of cheese, less than a slice of bread, a cherry tomato two slices of cucumber, two small pieces of carrot, a spoonful of sweetcorn and some lettuce. It's lots of different things but in small amounts and agrees not finishing it all. Other than the cheese none of the foods are especially calorie dense. Someone now knowledgeable than me will be able to estimate the calories, but given they need around 1000 a day it seems fine

Ringsender2 · 04/08/2021 20:54

@FuckingFlumps

Looks fine. Plus if she is taught to stop when she is full rather than always clearing the plate that will serve her well in future.
This
DoubleTweenQueen · 04/08/2021 20:56

That looks lush! She will be experiencing different textures and flavours. Don’t see what the problem is, if she’s a healthy weight - looks yummy and nutritious.

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/08/2021 21:07

It looks lovely. I'd expect bit and pieces to be left but I think choice is good.

Goldbar · 04/08/2021 21:13

It sounds like your mum has some issues with food and finishing food. I have issues with food because I was brought up to clear my plate and wasn't allowed to leave the table if I hadn't finished everything. As a result, I often eat from habit when I am full. I am trying to stop this. I am also trying not to pass these habits on to my 3yo, but it is difficult because they are fussy with food and often can't be bothered with mealtimes but then ask for snacks later. I have settled for asking them to try one mouthful of everything at least before pudding and, if they're still hungry after pudding (usually just fruit or yoghurt) they can have more of their dinner. I am trying very hard not to cajole them to finish their food even though the food waste distresses me.

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/08/2021 21:18

minty133

What the heck is Portuguese cheese? And why does the bread look like dried-up tuna?

Oh it’s bread Grin I thought that’s a lot of tuna!

Ghosttile · 04/08/2021 21:25

Did you read your own link Whatmattersmost?

Link: one slice of bread
Plate: < one slice of bread
Link: small amount of sliced cheese
Plate: small amount of sliced cheese
Link: half to one egg
Plate: one egg

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/08/2021 21:28

@Nightgardenisodd ahh ok I am on a phone so the photo isn’t that clear. I think the lunch is fine though, love the plate.

FlorrieLindley · 04/08/2021 21:31

Ah, sorry I see it's bread. I thought it was some kind of squashed up meat/tuna thing. Everything else looks fine, just my eyesight/varifocal lenses.

UmamiMammy · 04/08/2021 21:35

@FlorrieLindley
We must have the same glasses..... I also thought the bread was tuna!

81Byerley · 04/08/2021 21:35

Blimey! That would be a lot for me....and I'm over weight!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/08/2021 21:36

I think you need to just ignore her opinion to be honest. I do find the older generation generally aren't that clued up on what a balanced meal is. I remember my nan chewing on the gristly fat on a pork chop and would tell me to eat mine: "It's good for you." Now, clearly, it's really NOT good for you at all, but I'm sure it's full of calories, which I guess in wartime were hard to come by.

Drop down one generation and MIL was trying to stuff my kids (and all the other grandkids) with sugar and chemicals, or packets of crisps. One of the grandkids ended up with a weight problem when she minded him during the school holidays because she would do things like offer an ice cream cone 20 mins before his evening meal, and he would have been given a packet of crisps an hour before the ice cream too. I mean, all her own kids ended up really fussy and not eating many veg, and prefer junk type food. DH had loads of fillings as a child. You think she would have learned from her mistakes. So you stick to your guns, OP, it's your child, and it's you who will have read up on nutrition for children more recently than she has, no doubt.

I get the not liking waste thing, I really do, but it's not like your DD's leaving half a fillet steak, is it? Don't give in, either, if she tends to pick at those sort of salad type meals and not spag bol or something. I didn't do very well when feeding mine when they were that age. DS2 was extremely picky and just would have gone without food, and because the HV had commented that he could maybe do with putting some weight on, I was just happy if he was eating, so he just got fussier and fussier (plus had sensory issues, with retching etc at certain textures). DS2 still won't eat any fruit, and he's 15!! Shock

Ghosttile · 04/08/2021 21:39

If you’re in Portugal you are very unreasonable if you don’t follow it with a wedge of that crème caramel like dessert. Mmmmm.

Ghosttile · 04/08/2021 21:45

Would you post a picture of the empty plate with your hand across it? I think some people are struggling with scale (and assuming it’s a 12 inch bunny plate)

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 04/08/2021 21:47

Would you post a picture of the empty plate with your hand across it? I think some people are struggling with scale (and assuming it’s a 12 inch bunny plate)

It's easy to work out the size of the plate using the hard boiled egg for scale.

Ghosttile · 04/08/2021 21:50

I know. I’m assuming that people are confused by the size because the alternative is that grown women are saying they’d struggle to eat what you could fit between two slices of bread (excluding the rustic bread Grin)

FuckingFlumps · 04/08/2021 21:50

@81Byerley

Blimey! That would be a lot for me....and I'm over weight!
It's a toddler sized plate with a relatively small portion of food on it. Confused I find it very hard to believe any adult would consider that too much food for a toddler let alone a full grown adult.
Tibtab · 04/08/2021 21:51

Maybe people think it’s an ostrich egg…

rosalie11 · 04/08/2021 21:54

No that’s not a lot it’s a nice meal

user1471538283 · 04/08/2021 21:55

My DS has always had a good appetite and would have eaten all that and more. I think it looks delicious!

Little ones need the calories. My DS could eat 2 weetabix at 12 months old. Having a little mayo is okay.

Original poster
Nightgardenisodd · 04/08/2021 21:58

@Ghosttile Omg, was is the creme caramel type dessert? I want some but can’t work out which one it is? Not pastel de nata?

OP posts:
Bigtoejoe · 04/08/2021 22:08

Well I now feel bad about only giving my 3 year old 1 weetabix... He does sometimes have something else but not always. A standard adult portion is 2 so I would have thought that'd be way too much for most children - I know they're all different but I'm surprised at the general horror on this thread of only offering one!