To not give in & clean the kitchen, before environmental health is called

[Debbiethemum]

DH & I agreed months ago that he would be responsible for cleaning the kitchen & bathroom, I would do the rest of the house and the laundry.

I have given in and cleaned those two rooms a couple of times (just before visitors were expected). BUT I am getting sick of it.

MIL is coming for the weekend and even I can't bear the kitchen any more in it's current state.

How much nagging is OK and what deadline should I give him.

where've you been?

Lurking, occasionally posting, and working!

You want to do what I do when the MIL visits and the place is a tip (which is always!). Tell her you don't think she has brought her son up properly if he can't tidy up after himself and the kids. Where did she go wrong? His brother and sister are immaculate! Mind you you would have to get on really well with MIL to get away with saying this and not ruining the evening... but then sometimes you just have to say sod it your son likes living in his own filth and it's your fault because you didn't train him propperly!!!!

motherinferior - you raise an interesting point, which is - just quite how disgusting are the people in a household that employs a cleaner?

Quite honestly, my house is clean and tidy in a general way because my partner and I are not slobs and we don't leave the loo full of shit, nor do our children. Dirty clothes and wet towels don't trail on the floor. The bath never has a tide mark. We clean up after ourselves; the cleaner does ironing (all of it), and general cleaning such as hoovering, dusting, washing floors, tiles etc. It's not gross. I employ a specialist firm to clean the windows and shutters because I think that is a young, fit man's job (it's extremely physically demanding).

Cleaning in a household where the occupants are civilised human beings is a very different matter to cleaning in a household where the occupants are slobs.

It is not the cleaning per se that is demeaning, but I quite agree that it is demeaning (deeply uncivilised) to clean up revolting mess that no rational human being ought to leave trailing.

I could employ a cleaner and don't - and I don't know why not, tbh. I hate cleaning and I hate mess.

I read this thread with interest, to see if it would persuade me to ring the cleaner and employ her again.

I am not tempted.

I am either mad or a feministmarxist or scrooge or so latepgcontrolfreaky that I cannot even let my household standards go.

Am off to scrub kitchen floor to bring on labour.

ggg is it labour time already ?

I am being induced next week. Am open to all "natural offers" beforehand.

Oh ggg you are mad not to have a cleaner with all those children and a new baby on the way .

I know. I sort of have this little house on prairie thing going on - I imagine my teenage daughters with shaker style aprons over their drindle skirts, sweeping and scrubbing the kitchen for me with a smile as I sit by the fire knitting John Boys socks (wrong series, right idea) and the younger children giggling as they make beds and air the dormer windows.

Hhahahahahahah

You need both a cleaner and some therapy

You aren't the only one - in fact, I think we need a special MN support thread - Overcoming Psychological Resistance to Cleaners

Yes, dd1 is off out to cinema/shagfest thing tonight with latest jeune homme; dd2 is wrapping presents in commercial frenzy centre to raise money to go sailing in Brest, DD3 went to school in a windcheater as she has lost her coat and Ds's bedroom gives me contractions just looking at the bordel topsy turvy mess.

We are a long way away from Laura Ingalls et al.

cinema/shagfest at 9 in the morning? the joys of youth!!!!!!

Laura Ingalls was probably married at 15. or was it Mary who got married at a ery young age?

You're right, she married Almanzo (sp?) very young.

But only had one child.

Oh ggg! I wondered how it was going and if you were due yet. Good luck!

Coming ever so late to this (and sitting in a bit of a midden as we're all not very well, so Standards Have Slipped), but - can't you do stuff together? We often do things like clean the kitchen and dining room together after the baby has gone to bed - it's time to chat, and the job gets done more quickly, so we're both ready to relax at the same time.

PS Good luck, ggg. You have just reminded me that on one holiday in Brittany I wouldn't say "Brest" because I thought it was A Rude Word. God know where I got that from. Think I went through a Victorian stage as a 10 year old.

laura got married at 18. those books make me feel extremely inadequate!

ggg i cannot believe how time flies! good luck