Locked Parking Thread - The Actual End

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

This has been a wild ride made substantially more entertaining by DBs shenanigans but the end is in sight.

Hopefully by 8.35 the car will be free. I will be downing something alcoholic and next time the straw comes I'll make him bring it in by hand one bale at a time WITHOUT unlocking the gate!

I'm going to go for dignified and just let him out and convince myself that him moving it at all makes this a draw my victory. He no doubt will do the same and we'll both potter off happily into the sunset hopefully never to meet again!

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* Edited by MNHQ to add *

Previous threads all here:

To lock the jackass in (parking thread)
Locked parking thread 2
Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))
Locked parking thread 4 - The End
Locked Parking Thread 5 - The Actual End

He's got some brass neck he has. BACK TO THE CARVERY WITH YOU!

I would say to him when he arrives
'blimey, we mere women were convinced you men had no stamina beyond 5 minutes quickie, what a lucky girl I am'

If he's not there at exactly 8:30 hide in the house. Tow the car.

Oh wouldn’t he just love to have the gates left open!! So he can sneak out without even feeling awkward. WANKER. I can’t believe the way he is constantly trying to push the timings. He should be bending over backwards to move the car!

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

Personally I think you need to set up a device in view of the gate and organise an epic zoom call so we can watch the twat pick up his Ranger and then maybe you could virtually introduce us to your DB.

Math quiz: How many screens would she need for all of us to join?

Does he not realise what a massive bellend he's being!!

You could also insult the car

"I'm not surprised you didn't want to pick up The Ranger. I was even embarrassed for people to see it parked here in case they thought it was mine."

My hoped for outcome is the wanker doesn’t come by 8:30pm tonight (please OP do not open the door after 8:31pm!) and OP gets the car towed tomorrow. Please, please, please.

@illdoitlater

Does he not realise what a massive bellend he's being!!

I know, right?! How can people be this oblivious?

I’d be tempted to not message again and leave it up to him to start being more polite. His attitude defies belief.

Get the tow truck number handy,

Does he not realise what a massive bellend he's being!!

It goes with the territory that they never do. If they did, they wouldn't be.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

If OP decides to make this into a west end play what would she call it

Leaving all of the distractions about the car to one side....

700 Brides For Just One Brother

^ This ^

He's the most vomit inducing CF I've ever heard of. I'd give not quarter - if he's later than arranged I'd be out and get police involved as it's a dumped car.

@DrBlackbird

My hoped for outcome is the wanker doesn’t come by 8:30pm tonight (please OP do not open the door after 8:31pm!) and OP gets the car towed tomorrow. Please, please, please.

He does deserve to have his car towed. WTF is he thinking??!

Nearly time for him to arrive, bet he tried to get someone else to collect it. what an idiot he is.

Horse shit can ‘scald’ paint @BlueEyesWhiteDragon. Go for it.

Not really but it would be kinda satisfying

I'm so annoyed OP - he's totally taking the piss.

You must be prepared for him sauntering up and not remotely apologising.

I'd keep it short :

"Nothing to say? Oh you want me to open the gate? Hang on. I'll just be 5 minutes." Stare at him, in the hope that the penny drops and then walk slowly back to your house. You could turn to him one more time and say "still no explanation?" Before leaving him for 15 minutes while you have a cuppa and get the keys.

He is sooo going to turn up closer to 9pm

I wonder if he or his wife/sister/mum/friends have been following this thread?!

*CF - I'm not sure when ill be free. I'll be there around 9. Can you leave the gates open?

Me - No. I have to have the gates locked. I will not be available that late in the evening. The latest I could do is 8pm. After that I have commitments I can't change.

CF - Around 8.30 is the earliest I can get there.

Me - Fine. If you are late I will need to go and you'll have to collect from tow company.*

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE ARROGANT PRICK!!! 😡😡😡

Can you leave the gates open?

Seriously?

He’s got more front than Blackpool.

Bold fail 🙄

Fuck me, he's a rude tosser.
You tell him it's being towed at 5pm and he doesn't want to come earlier than that?

700 Brides For Just One Brother

Or "Dick, the Lone Ranger"

Make up a massive sign saying "Tow Truck Driver - Please park here and knock on door, thanks" and put it on your gate now.