Locked Parking Thread - The Actual End

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

This has been a wild ride made substantially more entertaining by DBs shenanigans but the end is in sight.

Hopefully by 8.35 the car will be free. I will be downing something alcoholic and next time the straw comes I'll make him bring it in by hand one bale at a time WITHOUT unlocking the gate!

I'm going to go for dignified and just let him out and convince myself that him moving it at all makes this a draw my victory. He no doubt will do the same and we'll both potter off happily into the sunset hopefully never to meet again!

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* Edited by MNHQ to add *

Previous threads all here:

To lock the jackass in (parking thread)
Locked parking thread 2
Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))
Locked parking thread 4 - The End
Locked Parking Thread 5 - The Actual End

I've replied

5 mins like on Sat? Yeah right ....

I'm petty and I know it

@Givemebackmylilo

How many people right now are watching this thread

I'm so curious

Me too!

I bet he says ‘5 mins’ in bed but it’s 5 seconds.
Or even worse 5 bloody hours 🤣🤣🤣

Dont worry he wont be there in 5 minutes last time he said that was 3 days ago.

I'm not sure what I want from the CF any more .... blood, his firstborn, his soul... but an apology and some contrition would be good. Can't see that happening though. 😡😡😡😡

*UniversalAunt Tue 03-Aug-21 20:54:38
Have you secured the escape route?
After all his shenanigans, we (all of us & the many more to come) don’t want the CF to make a low-key getaway.

When the tow truck cometh, feel no doubt that you are obliged to pass on the relevant details to CF.

CF: er, where my car?
OP: ‘tis gone.
CF: stunned silence
OP: silence, deadpan
CP: Gone where?
OP: Can’t say that I know
CP: stunned silence
OP: silence, deadpan
CP: Who took it?
OP: Big boy came took it away
CP: You must know who...
OP: My DB sorted it out
CP: eh?
OP: Big cars, that’s big boy stuff!
CP: Where’s your DB?
OP: Not here.
CP: Whaa...
OP: Silence...*

LOL!

He’s loving this. I’d be furious.

OP seriously it’s almost dark. Be careful. Take the dogs with you, he’s scared of dogs.

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

I've replied

5 mins like on Sat? Yeah right ....

I'm petty and I know it

Yaaaay 😂

@Fiddliestofsticks

He didn't get held up. He always intended to come at 9pm. Just like he never intended to come at 7.30pm because he chose 5pm and didn't care that you had told him no.

You dont owe him anything. You gave him 24 hours notice. Have it towed tomorrow. Dont go out when he gets there

Yep, it's pretty obvious he's acting the piss artist as a way of 'paying back' OP for locking him in. I'm in the phone off now & tow truck tomorrow camp.

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

I've replied

5 mins like on Sat? Yeah right ....

I'm petty and I know it

I love you!

OMG! Just catching up on thread 5! He is so RUDE! I really really want him not to turn up now and his car to get towed and there to be a terrible accident where it gets completely trashed and returned to his driveway in burned up bits of metal and no one will come and pick up the carcass of his defunct 'ranger'.

@SunShinesBrightly

I bet he says ‘5 mins’ in bed but it’s 5 seconds. Or even worse 5 bloody hours 🤣🤣🤣

Imagine 5 hours with this drip 🤣🤣🤣

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

I've replied

5 mins like on Sat? Yeah right ....

I'm petty and I know it

good lass! Stick to your guns!

Your insurance doesn't allow you to open the gates after dark, right? Say I'm right?

Omg! He is still not there even at 9!!! Absolutely 100% do not let him get it back tonight.

Full of rage for op

He was always going to come at 9pm wasn’t he…..arrogant wanker. Please be in the house and don’t answer the door.

Do you have to pay for the tow truck or do they take it for free and he pays a release fee?

Op.

Bloody brilliant!!!

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

FFS.

I've messaged.

You aren't here ..... again. I will not be arranging a third collection you do not turn up to. It will be towed tomorrow

He's replied.

5 mins away. Got held up.

Well colour me surprised. Again. 🙄

Just reply and say I said I wasn't available at 9pm, I now have to go, I've held back as long as I can. I'll send you the tow company number tomorrow

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

I've replied

5 mins like on Sat? Yeah right ....

I'm petty and I know it

Petty? Maybe

A hero? Definitely

Anyone, with a brain, having heard that very reluctant 'ok 8.30' despite the OP saying unavailable after 8, would have been frantically texting sorry, on my way, held up, so sorry, will be there asap.

He has no fucks to give. Wish I was rich enough to be able to abandon an expensive car somewhere and not miss it for days.

Tow it. (I am actually starting to hope the FC have some kind of emergency drill and ram it out of the way early tomorrow though!)

A bottle of wine and an apology would be nice. Maybe he’s at the shop buying you a sorry gift.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🚗

"Listen you entitled asswipe, I said 8 and extended to 8:30 but it is now 9pm and that doesn't suit me.
As previously advised, your car will be towed and you can collect it tomorrow (or their next working day) once it's been processed.
Do not contact me again. Do not park on my land again."

Happy to chip in a couple of quid if you set up a crowd funder to pay for the tow truck

Yeah I definitely owe the OP at least the cost of a book or cinema ticket for the amount of entertainment she's given me.