Have there been times a man has made you feel scared without intending to?

[Famed101]

Walking home from walk from my volunteering job at the time when I was 19 so 6 years ago and it was pouring down with rain. I also had a part time shop assistant job during this time.
A man who always came into the shop and always made small talk with me pulled over and asked if I wanted a lift.

Stupid me didn't even think about it and got in his car. As soon as I sat in his car, I realised I should not have got in as I didn't know this man apart from the small talk.

I remember he closed the window and despite my home being a 10 minute drive away, I felt petrified.
I told him to drop me off at the local store as I needed to take cash out.

He dropped me off and all was fine.

He probably had totally innocent intentions but I remember suddenly entering his car and getting the creeps. Honestly I remember thinking "this is it".

I actually never told any of my friends or parents about getting in his car as I knew they would all think I was a massive idiot but even when I look back I think about how totally wrong getting in his car.couldve gone if he had bad intentions.

A friends boyfriend offered to drop me home late one night when I was a young teen. Halfway through the journey we went through a really rough, badly lit area and pretty deserted. He locked the car doors and I felt so trapped and scared but he dropped me home safe and sound. I mentioned it to my friend who told me his mum was car jacked when he was little so he always locks the doors when he's scared.

Another time I was waiting for a friend to finish work so just killing time window shopping when a group of young men surrounded me. They told me a man had been following me around and they had been watching him from the bar across the road. Sure enough there was a man watching me. I went back to the bar with them until my friend came and actually stayed good friends with two of them for a few years.

Sirensays it’s really moving those young men protected you ❤️

I was at a friend's house party (not a rager or anything, adults were there) when I was 16. I had work the next day so went up to my friend's room and went to bed around midnight. I opened my eyes later to see the silhouette of a male friend lurking in the doorway, staring at me. Suddenly my best friend's older brother appeared and guided him back downstairs as he was completely drunk. I sometimes wonder if I'd have ended up lamping him with my friend's massive French dictionary.

It was unintended because I'm pretty sure he had no awareness of, er, not lurking in teenage girl's bedrooms or anything else the state he was in.

Yes, it was closing time at a museum and the guard directed me to a dark stairwell. I think he was fine but I turned around and took found a lit way. I felt bad then but think well done now.

I've heard footsteps behind me, and glanced round to see a man a little way behind.
I heard the footsteps get faster, until I realised he was almost running, and I honestly felt I would pass out with fear.

He wasnt coming after me, though, and was so, so apologetic when he realised how scared I was.

When I was 18 and working in my local shop there was one guy who always used to hang around when I was there, he used to make flirty comments and hint at me coming back to his place, nearby.

One night after closing he followed me to the bus stop and sat down next to me to talk.. he asked me if I wanted to go to his place to "go online."

I still remember how petrified I was. My bus came along luckily and I mumbled some excuse and jumped on the bus.

The next day I told my boss who said I'd done the right thing not going back to his place by myself, and he'd keep an eye out for me in future and ban the man from the shop if the behaviour escalated.

Funnily enough he never really came round anymore.
His intentions may have been perfectly innocent, who knew, maybe he just wanted a friend??

but I just remember how scared I was as a naive 18 year old, alone with him in a dark secluded bus stop.

I was in a taxi at 18 when the driver slowed to 15mph on a completely clear road at 2am.

He might just have been tired but I had my heels off to run if I got the chance and my keys in my hand to fight if it came to it.

Got home fine.

I thought I was being followed home once and was frightened. I didn’t know what to do. I quickened my pace, got my keys in my hand ready to poke him in the eye. And started to glance back often.
At some point he realised he was making me nervous. He said loudly, ‘I’m sorry I realise I may have frightened you. I’m just walking home, I’m not following you. I’ll cross to the other side of the road and walk faster so you can keep me in your sights. I’m really sorry’.
I was so grateful to him, and felt silly for assuming he was following me.

Too many. Men don’t seem to twig that their very presence to an unknown woman can be frightening. I know many men will say ‘not all men are dangerous’ but that’s not the issue, it’s that we don’t know which ones are. Different if the dangerous ones wore a special t-shirt to let us know.

I remember once on a Lorain, I was about 16 and had my pram so I could only sit in one bit of the train, a big bit with a fold down seat which is for wheelchairs or prams. A man got in, he seemed quite old to me but probably only 40s, and sat right across from me despite the whole carriage being empty, then proceeded to try and make conversation. Every time I would reply with a short yes/no/hmmm he would keep going trying to get me to talk and asking where am I from/was I on a day out/did I go to this city often.

I remember just thinking please let him get off soon and not where I get off I don’t want to speak to him. Looking back I don’t know if he was genuinely just trying to make conversation or maybe thought I looked lonely by myself, but I wish I’d had the confidence to say please leave me alone.

On a train, of course, not a Lorain!

Year ago getting out of a cab bit drunk in the middle of the night stupid cab driver took me to the wrong side of the block of flats my friend lived in which meant I had to walk through a badly lit ally nearly through it when A man in a dark coat and a hat come walking towards me I thought oh no this is it he was walking as if he was going to walk in to me so I stopped he then jumped backwards and said oh you scared me love I think he actually hadn’t even noticed me I did laugh after but was terrified at the time.

I was walking home in the small hours, not a journey I'd usually do but the nightbuses had failed to turn up for (literally) hours and I was desperate to get back. Walking along a busy road I noticed two men walking behind me, getting closer. I tried to speed up, they noticed and called out "don't worry about us love, we're a couple - but we're going that way and wanted to keep an eye on you." They were unbelievably sweet and walked me to the end of my road!

I used to catch a train to work, only a short journey (one stop). However, there was always a man on the train who gave me the creeps.

A few weeks ago it was quite late at night, around 11pm, and DH wasn't home. There was a knock on the door and I ignored it thinking it was DH coming home (he'll tap before using his keys so I know its him). There was then another knock, more persistent this time, followed by a tap on the living room window and then another knock. I went to the door and looked out the peephole to see a man standing there. Opened the door with the chain on and he said he had my take away, twenty pounds whatever. I said I'd ordered one earlier that evening but that was at around 6pm and it had arrived/been eaten hours ago. He asked "this is isn't it?" and it was my address on the slip, he asked if he could have a look at my phone app to see if the order number from earlier was the same as the current order number so if I'd just take the chain off.... It turned out it was for next door who had accidentally put down my door number instead of their own (and have done so three times since then ) but my heart was hammering the whole time especially when he asked me to take the chain off.

When I was about 18 I was walking to work early one dark winter morning & my path took me down a narrow alleyway. I was walking quite briskly & there was a man only a short distance ahead of me walking fast too.
Suddenly he stopped short, spun round quickly & rushed towards me. I screamed & shrank against the side of the alley.
He then put his hands saying “sorry, I’m so sorry! I’ve forgotten something!”
He then shrank past me still with his hands up & saying sorry as he backed away out of the alley.

So interesting to read the stories; I did read each one of them, not surprised a lot of them are at night time;
I remember driving to my boyfriend"s house really late at midnight and it was so dark and he was also driving back from work but meeting me at his house.
I got there first but he was running 15 minutes late. They felt like the longest 15 minutes of My life.

I didn't actually know how to lock my car from the inside until that time.
Sitting along in a dark unlit street, I googled how to do it.

Being burgled has changed how I feel in my own house. They just climbed over the 6 feet wall and broke through my kitchen window.

I’ve recently taken an allotment plot on that is relatively isolated and I rarely see anyone… except for one man. He’s mid sixties and wears what I can only describe as a loincloth, even when it’s overcast. He’s there every Wednesday and Thursday and he sees me coming, downs tools and climbs into my plot for a chat. It goes in for about 45 minutes and he’s starting to say things like ‘I can see the kind of person you are, you’re diligent and talk nicely’ etc.

He’s probably just w lonely old man that wants to chat but I find it really creepy.

Years ago I was with a colleague looking at venues for a company team building event. We went to an airfield a bit early so He suggested we look Around while we waited and drove off. Nobody knew where I was. Mobiles were relatively new and pretty unreliable.

I suggested going back a few times because people would be waiting and he brushed me off. I was absolutely terrified.

We did go back and nothing actually happened but I have often wondered if he knew just how scared I was.

Yes lots of times, I remember the feeling of just getting a bit of a tight chest when realising I was in a vulnerable position. And strangely sometimes unpleasant things would happen when really not scared at all.

I was living in a rough part of London and was on my way home in the morning from a club. It was about six, so light outside but there was no one around. A massive bloke started running up the street behind me and he was thundering towards me. I looked behind then slowed down, so he could go past. He stopped and said, 'you all right?' I said 'yes' and he ran off. He was jogging and realised he'd frightened me.

He should have crossed the road really. I got a lift once from a bloke at an airport as I had left my wallet in France and couldn't afford to get home. He took me to the nearest town so I could get to the bank as I had called my bank and they were going to let me get some money. He adjusted the seat and I saw he had a massive crowbar by his feet and I thought Fucking hell he's a serial killer but he dropped me off at the bank.

Quite a few times.

One that sticks out for me is when I was working at a chip shop as a teenager. Everyone had gone home and I was the last one there with the manager. He asked if I could count the money with him in the back. I sat in the back with him counting the takings and it suddenly dawned on me that he could do anything to me there. He was perfectly nice but I told him my brother was outside waiting to pick me up. I left and made sure I was never the last one there again.

What scares me now as I leave my 20s is how many times I put myself in situations where I should have been terrified but I didn’t even enter my head to be. I was invincible back then.

There are probably times from nearer now that I have been scared but I can’t think of any just now.

You don't usually know intent of course but I have one-

Was waiting for lift at work and doors were opening. No one else waiting. Suddenly got a shove from behind.

Obviously instantaneous oh shit someone is trying to push me into lift doors will shut he'll have me by myself panic. Through brain in that instant fraction of a second.

Turned round it was colleague.

He was haha got you!

I went off at him. FFS I thought I was being pushed into the lift by some dodgy bloke what the fuck were you thinking you scared the shit out of me!

He looked taken aback and baffled. Why would you think that? At work???

I mean Jesus.

I also pointed out he knew I was dodgy on my pins and so I could have gone flying.

So a nobbish thing to do all round!