Have there been times a man has made you feel scared without intending to?

[Famed101]

Walking home from walk from my volunteering job at the time when I was 19 so 6 years ago and it was pouring down with rain. I also had a part time shop assistant job during this time.
A man who always came into the shop and always made small talk with me pulled over and asked if I wanted a lift.

Stupid me didn't even think about it and got in his car. As soon as I sat in his car, I realised I should not have got in as I didn't know this man apart from the small talk.

I remember he closed the window and despite my home being a 10 minute drive away, I felt petrified.
I told him to drop me off at the local store as I needed to take cash out.

He dropped me off and all was fine.

He probably had totally innocent intentions but I remember suddenly entering his car and getting the creeps. Honestly I remember thinking "this is it".

I actually never told any of my friends or parents about getting in his car as I knew they would all think I was a massive idiot but even when I look back I think about how totally wrong getting in his car.couldve gone if he had bad intentions.

Recently moved to another part of the country, previously lived in quite a rough area where you simply didn't go out at night if you could avoid it.

New area was the opposite, very calm and lovely. But one evening, in winter, so quite dark, I had to go to the shop so put dd in the pram and off we went. Got there and a group of about 7 lads were hanging around outside the doors to the shop, probably around 18-20 year olds.

My heart jumped, I stopped walking and I thought, oh god, what do I do.
One of them spotted me and said good evening and another then held the door open for me for enter the shop.

They were just waiting for their friend to come out the shop and I feel bad for feeling scared of them. Makes me sad that previous experience of groups of lads had made me think like this.

I was on the bus on the way home from work. It was winter so already dark. The bus was busy but there were seats free. Man gets on and plonks himself next to me despite other free seats, doesn't move even when double seats empty out. Looks like he is studying me in the window but he could just be looking out.
Coming up to my stop so I say excuse me and he lets me out and I go downstairs. Within 2 minutes I realise he is standing behind me. I am freaked out at this point, why would he have let me out only to follow me.
Get off the bus and he follows me, so I stop and look for something in my bag so he has to go past. He does but keeps looking back and slowing down. I cross the road at the crossing and he tries to dodge out into traffic to get to my side but cant because its too busy.
I legged it to my block of flats and my sister had to spend the next ten minutes calming me down.

I'm guilty of the opposite. Some years ago I often used to ask strangers (of both genders) what they're good at. Some people declined to engage, but most did, and I got some interesting answers and conversations.

Usually I was on my bike, and I kept a safe distance from them, so they shouldn't unsafe. I was especially careful to do so when approaching women for obvious reasons

So you had enough understanding that you could be frightening women by asking them a stupid question that could be interpreted as quite intimidating (and what difference you thought ‘a safe distance’ would make when they’re on foot and you were on a bike, I don’t know) but you kept doing it anyway simply because you wanted a chat? Is your skull full of cheese? What the fuck were you thinking? Why would you do that?

My son crosses over if her sees a woman or girl on her own either ahead of him or coming towards him.

I love that the comments about guns are all ‘shooting an innocent man’ (which is a valid concern as the horrible US stats about gun owners accidentally shooting family members show), ignoring the fact that lax gun laws would mean it’s more likely that the man frightening you will have a gun.

’Is your skull full of cheese?’

I’m stealing that

lax gun laws would mean it’s more likely that the man frightening you will have a gun.

If they're that set on scaring people, they could as easily have an illegal gun anyway.

I grew up in the country. We weren't given too many warnings about being out at night (nights out usually need a lift home organising, or staying over with friends.) We were technically in walking distance of town, but while footpaths are one thing in daylight, Mum made sure we got the message not to try and walk home across the fields at night in case of poachers with guns.

Nah men don’t frighten me. They’re much more likely to attack another man.

Only one man has ever scared me: it was 1998 and I was 23z. He was the owner of the building where I worked. He told me to move my fucking arse now (he wanted me to get a car moved or something). I’ve never responded to intimidation before or after in my life but I did then.

It turns out he’d worked as a mercenary in South Africa years before. I guess I could feel the danger in him.

I am guilty of trying too hard to demonstrate trust. A casual acquaintance seemed like a nice guy. Kind and good humoured. I was living in shared accommodation in London and allowed him into my house and was 'breezy' when I bumped into him even though my housemates were out. All was fine and he left.

Except he then sent me a message saying that he had been so het up being alone in my house with me and considering what he could have done that on leaving he immediately went and indecently exposed himself to some poor woman at a bus stop.

When I was 16 and doing a YTS before going to college I had accepted a lift home from a work 'do' from a graduate trainee accountant. He drove me to a waste area, called me a prick-teasing bitch and tried to rip my knickers off. He only stopped when I stumbled from the car to throw up.

When I was an undergraduate at Manchester university I walked home from a friend's house 10 minutes away and ended up running for my life chased by a man that only gave up the pursuit because by luck there was a car dropping off friends in my road.

A friend was picked up in a fake taxi and only managed to escape by throwing herself out of the moving car.

No benefit of the doubt because 'not all men'.

[quote Famed101]@ToykotoLosAngeles completely agree!
The thing is, even if I was walking with just my female friend at night I'd still be quite scared.
Is it bad that I feel safer if a man was walking me home but also fear men in the dark? [/quote]
I've been raped by my male flatmate and a male friend who i'd known for 5 years, I've had a taxi driver take me down the wrong road and try and assault me ( I got out and ran) a brother of a school friend also tried to rape me. Christ even my elderly uncle used to try and get a grope when saying goodbye when I was a teenager. But no random man out walking his dog or following me on a dark night on my way home from the pub has ever done me any harm. It's not strangers I'm scared of.

@EnglishScot

What scares me now as I leave my 20s is how many times I put myself in situations where I should have been terrified but I didn’t even enter my head to be. I was invincible back then.

There are probably times from nearer now that I have been scared but I can’t think of any just now.

Oh me too, the silly things me and friends did back in the 80’s getting in cars with blokes we just met, going back to peoples houses, we used to go to blues parties and a club in Leeds where the Yorkshire ripper was known to have frequented! We had no real fear if my poor parents had known i would never have been allowed out!

I didn’t suggest being scared of every man you see. I said it was sensible to be alert and careful when in a vulnerable position. Presumably you’re twisting it on purpose.

I was very reckless in my early 20's with my safety and abuse of alcohol.

I would often go out with a few friends on a Friday or Saturday but when the drink had worn off and anxiety kicked in I would be desperate to get home which meant I would take off and walk home alone. I lived a very close walk to where all the main bars and clubs were situated.

On one occasion I became aware of a man following me and he followed me all the way to my front door demanding that he wanted a kiss. I just lied and said I had my Brother and Dad waiting up for me. He left. Don't have a Brother or a Dad I'm close too. Just lucky I called his bluff and we had left the living room light on when we went out.

I have experienced 2 sexual assaults. I could have avoided one of them if I'd just stayed with my friends that night.

Flying back to Heathrow Terminal 5 after a business work trip. I got in a Pod (driverless shuttle transfer) to the T5 Business Car Park, and another person (man, I didn't know) jumped into it as well at the last second.

Five minute transfer trip in a sealed bubble back to the car park, late at night, with a man I didn't know. Nothing happened, and I'm sure he'd have been mortified to know I was scared, but it really freaked me out.

@UpstreamSwimmer

Some of these stories are creepy af, but others are just bizzare. For example *@squashyhat* story is just of her walking along a canal and passing a man. There wasn't even any eye contact.

So true 😂 “I never told my husband that someone walked past me once”