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AIBU?

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Original poster

How many kids did you want v's how many you have

570 replies

RevolvingPivot · 02/08/2021 15:40

I wanted 3. I've got 2.

OP posts:
isthisouting · 03/08/2021 14:14

None!

One Grin (zero regrets, very very very happy I changed my mind)

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:17

@FamishedAtAnAirport wow, you do not know how that works? All my life I said i wasn't going to have children. At 36 when my mum died I changed my mind 🙄

AudacityBaby · 03/08/2021 14:17

@FamishedAtAnAirport good lord, I'd never in a million years have put the figure that high. Mindblowing.

FakeFruitShoot · 03/08/2021 14:18

Four and four.

I count my blessings every single day. I am so so lucky to have my darling children in my life. They are wonderful (and exhausting!)

EscapingSoon · 03/08/2021 14:19

@Parker231

Wanted one but got twins. Happy with the end result!
Same here; planned one, got two. Wouldn't want it any other way now Grin
Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:19

It says associated with ambivalence though. You'd need to look more closely at the figures. I mean ambivalence is very broad. Even when people plan to have children there can be some ambivalence involved.

I imagine it's relatively common, eg not necessarily the right time. I was unplanned and I know of many others that were unplanned.

FamishedAtAnAirport · 03/08/2021 14:34

[quote Opalfeet]@FamishedAtAnAirport wow, you do not know how that works? All my life I said i wasn't going to have children. At 36 when my mum died I changed my mind 🙄[/quote]
I would have thought that changing your mind means that you wanted them.

I guess the op isn't clear. I interpreted it as how many did you want when you started your family.

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:37

@FamishedAtAnAirport I didn't because I wanted 0 for a very long time. From the look of the responses I think there was a few of us like that.

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:38

There was a few wanted 0, have 2. So I'm thinking that would be pretty clumsy to have two unplanned pregnancies, but who knows? 🤷‍♀️

emilylily · 03/08/2021 14:39

I want/ed 2 or 3, I have 0 so far but I'm early 30s and not in a relationship so I'll be lucky if I have one.

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:40

There's actually a wanted 0 and got 5. Now that would be very careless indeed!! 😱🤣

FamishedAtAnAirport · 03/08/2021 14:40

@Opalfeet

There was a few wanted 0, have 2. So I'm thinking that would be pretty clumsy to have two unplanned pregnancies, but who knows? 🤷‍♀️
I'm one of them...

As I said, I interpreted the question as how many did you want when you started your family.

I didn't start my family twice....

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:42

I interpreted the q as how many did you want as a question that was in the past and for me that was 0, I wanted 0 and then I changed my mind. It was late on so I wanted 0 for a lot longer than I wanted more.

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 14:43

@emilylily you are still very young in the grand scheme of things. I know someone who was 40 in your situation and she had a child.

Darbs76 · 03/08/2021 14:45

Always thought I’d have 2 max but I had 3

FamishedAtAnAirport · 03/08/2021 14:47

Yeah. I see that.

It just seems like an odd thing to day, that you planned to have children but you didn't want any.

But I see where you are coming from.

Ifonlyidknownthen · 03/08/2021 14:52

Was never something I thought about as dc1 was unplanned, was mid 20s and in long term relationship but was happily going along dc free for the foreseeable. Then got her and wanted a sibling, so suppose you could say 2, then dc3 was unplanned, im very fertile. Definitely do not want any more than 3 however.

RoseGoldEagle · 03/08/2021 15:00

Wanted 3 or 4. Had 3, and the desire to have more (that I’d felt so strongly after 1 and 2) completely vanished after DC3.

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 15:09

@FamishedAtAnAirport I didn't white say that, it's more that I didn't want any children and planned to have one after I changed my mind. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has interpreted it that way. I didn't want any for many many years. And even if you interpret it as the start of wanting a family, that number can change too. I don't really think I thought beyond one when I changed my mind, but when Id had one I wanted another...and another. But I'm done now for many reasons.

FamishedAtAnAirport · 03/08/2021 15:21

Well, your first comment said you wanted 0, but then you said they were 'very very planned'. I paraphrased, but it came across oddly (to me).

But as I said, I see where you are coming from.

And yes, these things do change. I guess I could say that I planned to have two and have two, but I only planned the second after having the first, which was unplanned. I'm not sure that would be in the spirit of the thread.

ladybirdsarelovely · 03/08/2021 15:21

We wanted 2 or 3 or 4.
We had one - The light of our lives.
Too late now - our age.
Heartbroken.
Tried Clomid and IVF a few times - failed.
It impacted our relationship hugely. Sad

Unexplained infertility from 33 but I had an earlyish menopause at 45 so that was probably why.
DH tests came back fine.

StickyThighs · 03/08/2021 15:24

Wanted 4, have 2. DD is just 4 weeks old and after so many losses, and I’m so happy I have them both I think we are done.

honeylulu · 03/08/2021 16:02

I had very fixed ideas when I was young. I wanted 2 daughters born when I was 28 and 30.

I had a son when I was 30 and a daughter when I was 40! So I did end up with two children.

Hemingwaycat · 03/08/2021 16:04

Always said 4 or 6 when I was growing up, I have 5 and that’s it for me Grin.

Sloth66 · 03/08/2021 17:00

Wanted 2, got 2

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