Toddler accused of breaking friend’s washing machine

[JellyJellyTooToo]

I’ll try to keep this as brief as poss but sorry if it’s a bit long….

Was watering a friends flowers while they were away. In the one occasion I took my toddler with me she ran a bit riot and while I was busy watering the plants in the garden she managed to move a few bits around in the house etc.

She wasn’t inside on her own, an older dc was with her but had an operation a few weeks ago and I hadn’t realised she’d sat on the sofa and stopped watching what little one was doing. She really should have told me she wasn’t watching her but didn’t 😒.

Toddler managed to put a flip flop into the washing machine and sprinkle it with washing powder. She may have fiddled with the buttons but certainly didn’t switch it on. Drum was open. I removed the flip flop but just left powder in the machine for them to use when they got back (but forgot to mention it). I didn’t for one minute think she’d broken it.

Yesterday, I received an irate phone call asking what the hell we’d done to the washing machine - I explained about the flip flop. Apparently it wasn’t working at all, no power, lights etc. He slammed the phone down on me.

For background said “friend” is the partner of a dear friend of mine who sadly died. He is an alcoholic and always has been for as long as I’ve known him. I remember my late friend saying how he’d get in funny moods etc but I’ve never seen this side of him before, he’s always been pretty chilled-out around me.

As little one had fiddled with the machine, offered to pay for repair/replacement straight as it could have been her. He won’t take any money. But has obviously gone round the house and checked everything and is now accusing us of peeling a flap of paint off of the door (which was coming off anyway)

However I can’t help thinking that he’s just got into a tizzy and taken it out on me, all this stuff about missed flights and family issues came out and he was very stressed.

He won’t let us go round to look at the machine for ourselves. Apparently his dd has to quarantine

I know it was definitely working before as I used it myself when we stayed there for one night after being in hospital. He said there were no lights on, but when I used it I actually thought that it could be broken as no lights came on until I pressed start. So I can see how it would be easy to think it was broken.

He’s pulled it out, changed the fuse, checked the filter etc. He also hoovered the powder out for some reason.

I can’t help but think that he’s seen the powder in the drum, panicked, fiddled with the machine without checking the manual and settings and then possibly done something to it himself. Or maybe it was always working but he hadn’t changed the setting back or something and he just freaked out.

Our toddler fiddles with out washing machine etc all the time (as well as other things) and has never managed to cause an electrical fault in anything. I just don’t understand how she could possibly have broken it 🤷🏻‍♀️

So…
IABU she broke the machine
Or
IANBU it was some kind of alcoholic episode

[ShouldersBackChestOutChinUp]

Your kid didn't break the machine.

But your kid could have eaten washing powder or anything. She wasn't supervised.

Because she wasn't supervised, all sorts of accusations can be made.

Keep her with you at all times.

I expect you've had a lot of lectures by now.

[1forAll74]

Your child not being supervised here is the problem. Toddlers should not be able to go around touching electrical items, despite this probably not being her fault for the washing machine not working now. Washing powder should not be accessible to a child either.

[Faevern]

Your fault for having no idea what your toddler was doing, not your older child’s responsibility and not your friends. You also have no idea what else she did while she ran riot.

He’s pissed off, possibly also pissed, but you can’t use that to minimise that your dc damaged his house, and you don’t know that she didn’t. It’s all on you so accept responsibility and the consequences even if he won’t accept a repair.

[FatJan]

All I can say is I hope you never come to water my plants OP.

Crazy.

[caughtinanet]

@SecretKeeper1

I’m confused about why OP needed to use his washing machine during a one night stay

What's with all the irrelevant questions, why does it matter? Can you really not comprehend that someone might have needed to do some washing?

[MeridianB]

Can you really not comprehend that someone might have needed to do some washing?

Not staying one night near to home, no.

[Summersun2020]

Yes, anything could have happened because YOU weren’t supervising your child! YABVU.

[Datingandnoideahowto]

Staying one night that close to home could’ve done the washing at home. And if it’s that close why did they need to stay overnight?

[ancientgran]

@Datingandnoideahowto

Staying one night that close to home could’ve done the washing at home. And if it’s that close why did they need to stay overnight?

Maybe read her posts where she explains.

[ancientgran]

@MeridianB

Can you really not comprehend that someone might have needed to do some washing?

Not staying one night near to home, no.

She had at least 2 children, one had been in hospital we don't know how long for, she had been going to friends house to water plants.

You know what maybe she was a bit behind with the washing.

[grapewine]

@MeridianB

Can you really not comprehend that someone might have needed to do some washing?

Not staying one night near to home, no.

It is odd.

[MeridianB]

You know what maybe she was a bit behind with the washing.

😁

[MrsMaizel]

You remember when this person bought their washing machine ?

[Datingandnoideahowto]

It is really odd.

The whole thing is just odd.

[icedcoffees]

I don't know why people are so certain it couldn't have been the toddler (or OP when she used it).

Unless you can see the machine, surely it's just speculation?

[Fullyhuman]

Today 17:55 ravenmum

@Fullyhuman You wouldn't be annoyed if you just asked someone to water your garden, but when you got back you found that they'd moved things around in your house and used your washing machine?

No I wouldn’t be annoyed. I’d be annoyed with a professional gardener doing that but not a friend - I’d assume the best intentions, get the washer fixed (I’d accept half the cost/insurance excess if needed to pay) and paint the door. It’s only things, I value my friends v much.

[Bingbongbash]

I would tell him he can get somebody else to water his flowers next time and then I would move on.

[Spidey66]

@RevolutionRadio

If some one came to my house to water the plants I'd expect them to use the outside tap so there no reason to go inside, just wondered why they would all go inside in the first place?

Maybe it was a terraced house, so no other access to the garden?

[StrangeToSee]

In more worried that your toddler had access to washing powder and the time to not only fiddle with the machine but put a flip flop into it. Detergent is highly toxic if she swallowed it.

YWBVU to expect his unwell DD to watch your toddler. Or to expect her to come and find you in the garden if toddler wandered off. Why did you leave a toddler ‘running riot’ with a child who’d just had surgery?

As he won’t take the money does it matter if she broke the machine? The main thing is she shouldn’t have been anywhere near his laundry or washing machine. What if she’d gone in his bedroom instead and rifled through his private stuff? Or damaged something precious?

I think he’s upset because you took your toddler to his house and didn’t supervise her. It’s an intrusion on privacy. Any reason she couldn’t help you water the flowers?

[ForeverSausages]

This whole post is odd. Why would you need to use his washing machine if you were only staying there 1 night? But then later on you say you only used to TV and kettle? And it's also not so crazy to think toddler did peel the paint by the door, if they managed to get hold of washing powder.

I don't, however, think toddler broke the washing machine by putting washing powder in the drum but I'm guessing they were left unsupervised for a while and I'm not surprised he's pissed. My mum waters my plants when I'm away but she wouldn't come round, put a wash on and leave a toddler to "run riot".

Not much you can do if he won't let you. I would apologise again and then just leave it.

[Nomoreideasleft]

YABU. Your whole attitude is about making excuses (i.e. the paint was coming off anyway!), but I would be well pissed off if a toddler had run around my house moving things and peeling paint off the wall. Toddlers are toddlers, but I would expect the parent to apologise and be contrite. You seem to want to blame this on him (i.e. an alcoholic etc.) but actually your toddler did touch everything in the house and so probably did break the machine. This surely has nothing to do with any drink problem of his. I have no drink problem and I would be really annoyed.

[3scape]

This is very odd. The boundaries sound very confused. Alchohlics do that though. Probably better to get more stable friends that can manage without these favours all the time. He doesn't sound worth the effort and drama.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

YANBU
I don’t think an alcoholic holds the moral high ground to judge you and I also can’t see how your toddler could have damaged the machine. Possible it shorted if he has dodgy electrics, you/your dd locked it or it just happened to break.

[wewereliars]

An alcoholic has no right to have their privacy and home respected?! The OP should not have taken her unsupervised toddler into the home and let said toddler run amok. Simple

[HeyDemonsItsYaGirl]

Sounds like you really took the piss and treated his house like some kind of holiday home while he was away. Drop some cash round to his house in an envelope and don't make a kid just out of hospital supervise your toddler again.