Toddler accused of breaking friend’s washing machine

[JellyJellyTooToo]

I’ll try to keep this as brief as poss but sorry if it’s a bit long….

Was watering a friends flowers while they were away. In the one occasion I took my toddler with me she ran a bit riot and while I was busy watering the plants in the garden she managed to move a few bits around in the house etc.

She wasn’t inside on her own, an older dc was with her but had an operation a few weeks ago and I hadn’t realised she’d sat on the sofa and stopped watching what little one was doing. She really should have told me she wasn’t watching her but didn’t 😒.

Toddler managed to put a flip flop into the washing machine and sprinkle it with washing powder. She may have fiddled with the buttons but certainly didn’t switch it on. Drum was open. I removed the flip flop but just left powder in the machine for them to use when they got back (but forgot to mention it). I didn’t for one minute think she’d broken it.

Yesterday, I received an irate phone call asking what the hell we’d done to the washing machine - I explained about the flip flop. Apparently it wasn’t working at all, no power, lights etc. He slammed the phone down on me.

For background said “friend” is the partner of a dear friend of mine who sadly died. He is an alcoholic and always has been for as long as I’ve known him. I remember my late friend saying how he’d get in funny moods etc but I’ve never seen this side of him before, he’s always been pretty chilled-out around me.

As little one had fiddled with the machine, offered to pay for repair/replacement straight as it could have been her. He won’t take any money. But has obviously gone round the house and checked everything and is now accusing us of peeling a flap of paint off of the door (which was coming off anyway)

However I can’t help thinking that he’s just got into a tizzy and taken it out on me, all this stuff about missed flights and family issues came out and he was very stressed.

He won’t let us go round to look at the machine for ourselves. Apparently his dd has to quarantine

I know it was definitely working before as I used it myself when we stayed there for one night after being in hospital. He said there were no lights on, but when I used it I actually thought that it could be broken as no lights came on until I pressed start. So I can see how it would be easy to think it was broken.

He’s pulled it out, changed the fuse, checked the filter etc. He also hoovered the powder out for some reason.

I can’t help but think that he’s seen the powder in the drum, panicked, fiddled with the machine without checking the manual and settings and then possibly done something to it himself. Or maybe it was always working but he hadn’t changed the setting back or something and he just freaked out.

Our toddler fiddles with out washing machine etc all the time (as well as other things) and has never managed to cause an electrical fault in anything. I just don’t understand how she could possibly have broken it 🤷🏻‍♀️

So…
IABU she broke the machine
Or
IANBU it was some kind of alcoholic episode

[maddiemookins16mum]

You lost my YANBU vote at ‘my toddler ran a bit riot’ I’m afraid.

[Ilikeknitting]

I think you are in the wrong. You left your toddler to play, unsupervised with their washing machine. Then you left evidence (soap powder) so you can’t deny you left your toddler unsupervised to ‘break’ their washing machine.

Id not be happy if I came hone to find my cat sitter/tomato waterer/ house sitter had let her child run amok either.

[TheNestedIf]

Let him get it fixed and ask if you can see the full repair invoice.

If it's something your toddler could have done, such as a damaged door hinge or something poked into the drainage holes, offer to pay again and apologise.

If it's something your toddler couldn't possibly have done, such as a blocked filter or a blown fuse, or if he refuses to let you see the repair details, decide whether you want to continue the friendship based on his reaction.

[FamishedAtAnAirport]

How do you know? No adults have the faintest idea what the child did

Because I'm talking about my washing machine, and there were no toddlers near it.

[caughtinanet]

@RevolutionRadio

If the plants were outside why did you need to go inside at all with your toddler?

Why does that matter, she did go inside and can't change the past. The reason for doing it has no bearing on the situation other than allowing you to berate her.

Can you explain the relevance?

[MargeGoesBowling]

Yes we had a massive thunderstorm... So much water, lots of flooding near us

Why did you need to water garden flowers then?

[MrsDoctorDear]

Do you live far from this friend? I'm just trying to understand how watering plants needed an overnight stay. Unless I've missed a post.

[Breastfeedingworries]

So in exchange for watering plants you get to stay the night, do your laundry, toddler free rein to move and mess with personal belongings for widow... no wonder he’s upset! Then he comes back and things are moved/broken, powder everywhere you left...no wonder he hovered might not have known what else was in it!

I think you are being very unreasonable.

Not to mention your toddler could have died!!! If they’d eaten any powder.

Sincerely apologise, also for your toddler moving things, (through grief people can be very sensitive to this), offer to pay in writing.

[MarianneUnfaithful]

I think you need to stop your toddler fiddling with appliances before they turn in the oven etc.

[Breastfeedingworries]

Watering plants isn’t a huge deal, I think you were being a cf.

[SecretKeeper1]

I’m confused about why OP needed to use his washing machine during a one night stay

[RevolutionRadio]

If some one came to my house to water the plants I'd expect them to use the outside tap so there no reason to go inside, just wondered why they would all go inside in the first place?

[Birminghambloke]

I’d be fuming if you’d allowed a child to run amok in my home; more so as unsupervised so you are not fully aware. No one wishes to come back home with uncertainty as to what’s been moved.

However, you’ve partly done the right thing to offer to fix.

I’d cut the friendship. You don’t speak respectfully of him.

[JudgeJ]

@WildWestWanda

Yabu. You are responsible for the broken machine because you weren’t supervising your toddler

May sound odd but when this happened to us, dead machine syndrome, we were told to switch off all the power to the house for a couple of minutes. When we switched back on it, the machine, was working! It may work if you just switch off that circuit or even just the machine socket, ours is hard wired so couldn't, and the whole house seemed the easiest option.

[wewereliars]

Your toddler child should not have left your side, yabvu

[Zilla1]

@judgeJ, might have been to allow capacitors to discharge??

[dudsville]

If someone is kind enough to do my watering I also expect them to be thoughtful enough to respect my home.I might not behave the way he's behaved, but I would be angry.

[JudgeJ]

[quote Zilla1]@judgeJ, might have been to allow capacitors to discharge??[/quote]
My son-in-law who told us to try this said it was something about resetting the internal gubbins, it's a bit like when the Sky box or the wi-fi has to be re-set, switch off and switch back on again.

[Blossomtoes]

@Viviennemary

Not surprised your friend was annoyed. Your negligence caused this. You need to offer to pay for a repair.

She has.

[Neondisco]

Your attitude is really poor. It was foolish of me to take my toddler to a non childproofed house, sounds like you're trying to shift the blame. Before that you were trying to shift blame onto your older child.

Also it sounds like you need to teach your toddler some no go behaviours. It's not a given that they trash a non child proofed house. Which you seem to imply it is. Teach some boundaries with a very firm no.

Also stop letting your child play with the washing machine. It's really dangerous.

[StayWithMe21]

You are irresponsible.

leaving a toddler in someone else's house and allowing them free reign. Playing with washing powder??? What if it got in her eye??

Supposed to "helping" but in the end a total nuisance and hindrance.

You're a nightmare!

[Bluetrews25]

Did someone just press the pause button?
I can't see how a toddler could break a washer
OP has offered to pay for repair, what more can she do right now?

[drpet49]

* Exactly how can a toddler break a washing machine? You might reset stuff or put it on a funny programme but I’ve never seen a machine that just breaks by someone touching it.*

^This. Your child didn’t break the washing machine.

[thelionqwueen]

You need to watch your toddler. A toddler shouldn’t ’fiddle’ with washing powder or washing machines, at your home or at other people’s homes. It is seriously irresponsible of you.

[Gerwurtztraminer]

Crikey some people are judgey. You clearly regret not keeping an eye on your toddler and realise the potential for worse to have happened. If you had his permission to stay there, fine. Reason is irrelevant. If he wanted plants watered even if the avid gardeners say it wasn't necessary - his choice.

So dealing with the facts:

• machine is not working
  
• you've offered to pay for a repair
  
• he's rejected that offer
  
• it appears he's not arranged for anyone to come out to see the machine and repair it if that's an option
  
• he won't talk to you about it
  

Until he is calm enough to discuss it, I'll leave well alone. Contact him again in a few days, maybe earlier in the day if he's more likely to be sober. Apologise again and offer again to pay for a repair, and to arrange that if he wants you to (if he's drinking heavily, his organisational skills may not be up to that). Bear in mind it's probably not under warranty if 5 years old so beware that repairs may be very expensive and indeed close to the cost of a full replacement machine.

If he's willing, you could go around and see if you can get it working using the suggestions of a off/on reset and checking the child local and settings.

If he still won't talk to you, email those suggestions along with the apology then leave it up to him. You can't reason with or help someone if they are drunk, angry and resentful.