I agree that there are lots of behaviours which many people might frown upon, but which won't trigger social service intervention. Again, lots of the public set a far higher bar in their moral judgement about parents and woukd want investigation or removal of children, far more easily than SS woukd deem necessary.
Again, it's a reason why I'm glad we have a system with prescribed triggers and markers that SS use and not the mob mentality which is very arbitrary about what should trigger intervention.
Again, SS aren't looking for perfect parenting. Lots of those judging others (often with imperfect info) seem to want perfection. Things which aren't perfect such as pretty irregular washing, poor diet, extremely limited parental input, parental physical or mental illness to a certain level, alcoholism to a certain level, learning disabilities to a certain level will all be things which means a child might not get as good an upbringing as they might, but isn't deemed so bad that there woukd be significant involvement of SS. Also, one-off incidents of mis-judgement might result in a conversation being had with SS, but far less than people might imagine or think should happen - and examples of that could be going out and leaving small children.
But of course there are issues which SS gets involved with and which sometimes will involve speedy and seemingly drastic action.
The public reaction to SS is the full range....from those who think SS should be involved in far more cases and who are horrified by large amounts of parental behaviour and think vast numbers fall short to the point many more children should be in care, to those which think every SS intervention is the work of busybodies who are targeting certain groups unnecessarily through prejudice.
I don't like the title of 'getting away with'. Surely, parenting for any group isn't about working out where the line of minimum parenting behaviour is and aiming low, but just high enough to to avoid detection and investigation. People don't look at their children and think about what is the least they can give them and what can they get away with and avoid detection of....and think to themselves 'I'm middle class so I can probably do that' or 'is better not do that, it will draw attention because of us being working class'. Instead, where people act poorly, it's generally through misjudgement and selfishness and putting themselves first above their children. It's a hard call sometimes, because being a good parent or a good enough parent doesn't mean 18 years of total personal sacrifice and never doing anything for yourself or never expecting children to come second sometimes. Some people do seem to see it like this (hence the idea that it can never be the case that both parents have a drink in case someone has to go to a and e) but I think in reality people live their lives and everyone makes judgements along a spectrum of choices. Some people veer fully towards the end of always doing what in their eyes might be best for the children (itself an arbitrary idea...although lots can't see that) and some towards what suits themesleves fully. Somewhere in that direction, there is a risk of child neglect or abuse and somewhere along that line SS might be involved.....but it's usually about ongoing neglect and not one-offs or about very serious one-off incidents.
How we all see the parenting of others and the role of SS or their actions is very much a construct of our own childhoods and involvement with authority as children and now and the circles we move in. No wonder people take different views and hold them quite adamantly and in ways that are very different.