People talking to you in public

[Mummybasketball]

I was eating a breakfast by myself, head buried in my phone and someone comes up to talk to me as e cafe had been done over and looking posh.

Aibu by thinking he’s a rude one?

Heaven forbid a 60 year old should make a passing remark to a 30 year old.

I'm sure he got the hint pretty quickly OP.

You never know what sort of day a stranger is having, I would always reply with a smile and then get back to what I'm doing if I didn't want to be disturbed.

Anything else is just rude.

Human connections are nice - we are characterised by living in society not a collection of individuals.

@NiceGerbil

Women are not under an obligation to chat to random men who decide that they want s chat. Irrespective of what the woman is doing.

I'm surprised so many posters see it as something women should do!

This!!

I can't believe these responses either.

If he’s that out going he’s probably able to make mates his own age at the pub.

Ageist, too.

I once over heard a couple in their 60s doing a cross word. They were struggling for the capital of Bangladesh so I told them.

They passed the paper over for a couple more clues and laughed that it was a joint effort.

I don't know why I joined in and I wasn't even on my own but I did.

It's nice talking to random people.

@NiceGerbil I doubt men like that do it to other men.

They do. My OH often gets annoyed when random people (men AND women) try to start conversations when he's doing something else.

Some people just don't pick up on the "I'm busy" signals and plough on regardless.

It's not just women though, is it?

Just because on this occasion it was a man chatting to a woman.

If a man had made a pleasantry to another man he didn't know, you can be sure the man wouldn't have started a thread about it on an Internet forum.

"Another bloke commented about the weather to me when I was waiting at the bus stop. What an absolute arse, couldn't he see I was minding my own business."

@ActonSquirrel It's nice talking to random people.

Yes, it is, if they want random people talking to them. Not if they don't. People need to learn to read the signs.

it's nothing to do with men or women, it's about human beings living together in society, shared human experiences, and occasionally being civil to each other even if they haven't been formally introduced.

I chat to anyone and everyone.
Although I once committed the cardinal sin of speaking to a man on a late night tube in London.
He was around mid forties and looked shattered, obviously just finished work.
You look shattered, busy day? I enquired.
The man looked at me in confusion and surprise while my friend looked aghast 😂

People need to learn to read the signs.

I expect the OP left him in no doubt.

Looking at your phone isn't a 'sign', it's something nearly everyone does when they are on their own. Not like having headphones on.

#BeNice

[quote Badbadbunny]**@ActonSquirrel* It's nice talking to random people.*

Yes, it is, if they want random people talking to them. Not if they don't. People need to learn to read the signs.[/quote]
People also need to read the signs that they aren't super hot at 8/10 and people aren't hitting on them!

@JorisBohnson2

It's the eye contact/ sensing the vibe thing.

I was at a bar the other day, whilst they were getting my drink I was going to comment to the person next to md how good it was to be able to stand at the bar again.

But he was busy texting on his phone, so I didn't.

The man in the OPs story sounds socially tone deaf.

Yep, nail on the head. Lack of eye contact is usually the main sign, there's also headphones/earbuds in, reading a book/leaflet, looking at something on the phone, etc. People wanting conversation usually give out signals, such as looking at you (eye contact). They make themselves open to conversation.

This happens to me all the time! The curse of having a friendly face and a smile that doesn’t just disappear after saying hello!
I’m a magnet for chuggers, lonely people and manky blokes trying their luck that wouldn’t even go up to most women, let alone men!
Most of the time, I don’t mind, as I’m naturally friendly mostly, but sometimes I’m just not in the mood, and this is when my fucking face betrays me!!

See, I like a bit of random chat with strangers in shops etc. Espresso when older people chat, it might be their only chat of the day. Shame when you can’t spare a few minutes.

Especially not espresso

Making a passing comment isn't the same thing as trying to strike up a conversation though.

I talk to strangers sometimes, normally when I've not spoken to anyone out of the home for a few weeks, I don't talk to people doing things though - I'd not have interupted OP. I quite like it when people talk to me, so I'd not realised it was so disliked (not just when interupting, but by many, just in general judging by this thread). I have some social issues, so I'd just not realised. I'll stop doing so now.

Definitely didn't only do it to women though! I talk(ed) to both sexes and all ages.

@Herja don’t stop, most people like it.

Ha ha ha - have a word with yerself OP.

Some people are just friendly and chatty. Not everyone is some kind of weird predator.

Some people are just unfriendly who think they are a bit above others and certainly wouldn't dream of engaging in conversation with someone so ... beneath them.

We're friendly folk up North

@Tulipomania

It's not just women though, is it?

Just because on this occasion it was a man chatting to a woman.

If a man had made a pleasantry to another man he didn't know, you can be sure the man wouldn't have started a thread about it on an Internet forum.

"Another bloke commented about the weather to me when I was waiting at the bus stop. What an absolute arse, couldn't he see I was minding my own business."

Exactly, surely people can tell the difference between a man trying it on/harassing, from a man making a simple comment about a local cafe?! Poor bloke!

This is genuinely one of the reasons I moved down south. I hate this shit.