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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I tell her that he cheated?

119 replies

Namechange125 · 31/07/2021 23:35

Me and my friend had a one night stand almost 2 years ago, I then found out I was pregnant and we decided to keep the baby, Dd is now 10months. We are still good friends and we have a good co parenting relationship. He got into a relationship with a woman about a year ago.

Yesterday, me and my friend went out for drinks, he'd already booked a hotel room but I didn't think anything of it. We were tipsy and he asked me back to his room, I asked about his partner and he told me they'd split up. We had sex and then went to sleep. This morning, I woke up at about 8 and his partner was calling him, and she called him about 3 times. So they hadn't broken up.

Wibu to tell her that he cheated?

OP posts:
grey12 · 31/07/2021 23:38

I would

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/07/2021 23:39

Why would you? Revenge?

Original poster
Namechange125 · 31/07/2021 23:53

No, not for revenge as she hasn't done anything!

OP posts:
RyanAirVeteran · 31/07/2021 23:56

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youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/08/2021 00:00

Haven't you spoken to him about this since it happened?!

Mymapuddlington · 01/08/2021 00:02

Surely it’s a bit messy? Why would you risk falling out over sex if you’re good co-parents?
She has a right to know that she can’t trust either of you.

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 01/08/2021 00:03

You two need to have a long chat. How do you feel? Ignore @RyanAirVeteran- that is a nasty comment.

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 01/08/2021 00:03

You two as in you and the guy, not you and the gf. He needs to break up with her for sure

TheOneWithThe · 01/08/2021 00:04

This morning, I woke up at about 8 and his partner was calling him, and she called him about 3 times. So they hadn't broken up.

Erm. This doesn't really prove that they are together?

Weird thread. Why would you cause unnecessary drama with the father of your child by telling his girlfriend/ex. Why were you basically on a date with him if you thought he had a girlfriend Confused

user1473878824 · 01/08/2021 00:04

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FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 01/08/2021 00:06

Honestly, I find telling on a cheater never ends well for the teller.

Don't sleep with him again!

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 01/08/2021 00:06

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TickTockBitches · 01/08/2021 00:08

You should always tell about cheating. She deserves to know!

TheSkatesOfCoachBombay · 01/08/2021 00:09

No stay out of it, concentrate on the positive co-parenting relationship you have.

Sour it now and the next 18 years of your life could become very very difficult.

Original poster
Namechange125 · 01/08/2021 00:12

Yes, I have spoken to him since but I've not mentioned his partner.

Me and him weren't on a date, we just went out.

OP posts:
PippiStocking · 01/08/2021 00:12

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wheresmymojo · 01/08/2021 00:13

Usually I would say yes...but in this case I would prioritise keeping an amicable relationship with co-parent for the sake of my DC.

We wouldn't be going for drinks again though! What a twat...

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/08/2021 00:14

Yes, I have spoken to him since but I've not mentioned his partner.

How come?

Whataboutye88 · 01/08/2021 00:16

@RyanAirVeteran Didn’t realise women couldn’t have sex whenever or with whomever they choose without a pre-requisite ‘investment’ making them an ‘expensive’ date. It’s 2021, wise up.

PippiStocking · 01/08/2021 00:19

OP can’t see why you would want to sour things with your friend / co-parent. This woman is secondary to that IMO. At most, I would have a to-the-point conversation with your friend and tell them you’re pissed off they got you embroiled in their lying & cheating and won’t cover for them next time. Are you pissed off he lied to you (fair enough as you might not be together but the sex happened under false pretences)?

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 01/08/2021 00:21

Well normally I'd say the partner should get to know. But you've got a baby with him. So for her sake pissing him off by stirring things with his GF might not be a good idea. Talk to him and tell him how wrong you think he is and then tell him from now on it's just about your daughter because you dont want to be his booty call for shagging on the side. Does his GF see your daughter? Is it a serious relationship? Is he just dating her? Because now you know he does this sort of thing be really careful about who he introduces to your child because you dont want her getting hurt if she ever gets used to a step parent being around with her dad and then they leave her life because her dad wants to sleep around.

Saoirse82 · 01/08/2021 00:24

You'd be mad to sour the good co parenting relationship you have with him by telling his partner, what good could come of it? Do you have feelings for him? Either way you need to focus on the co parenting and don't sleep with him again, it's worked well for you as friends, I'd keep it that way.

Lalliella · 01/08/2021 00:38

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aiwblam · 01/08/2021 00:41

Don’t tell her. Your priority should be your child and that extends to your coparenting with this friend. She should be able to work it out for herself anyway, if he stayed out all night for no good reason.

EmeraldShamrock · 01/08/2021 00:47

She deserves to know.
I'm surprised there was no mention or question of the gf until you were in the room.
If you want him go for it, personally I wouldn't trust him at all.