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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I tell her that he cheated?

119 replies

Namechange125 · 31/07/2021 23:35

Me and my friend had a one night stand almost 2 years ago, I then found out I was pregnant and we decided to keep the baby, Dd is now 10months. We are still good friends and we have a good co parenting relationship. He got into a relationship with a woman about a year ago.

Yesterday, me and my friend went out for drinks, he'd already booked a hotel room but I didn't think anything of it. We were tipsy and he asked me back to his room, I asked about his partner and he told me they'd split up. We had sex and then went to sleep. This morning, I woke up at about 8 and his partner was calling him, and she called him about 3 times. So they hadn't broken up.

Wibu to tell her that he cheated?

OP posts:
Kathy2020 · 01/08/2021 00:49

100% tell her I would want to know. I don’t know whether or not she’ll believe you but that’s not your problem
Also for you throw this loser on!

beigebrownblue · 01/08/2021 00:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Mummybasketball · 01/08/2021 01:09

Firstly, who’s looking after the kid.
Second, why did he or you need a hotel.
Thirdly, if you weren’t such a cheap date you wouldn’t be in this situation.

Mummybasketball · 01/08/2021 01:21

Also “we” didn’t decide to keep the baby. If you wanted to terminate you could. You choose, he went along with what you said and was positive.

You got pregnant out of a serious relationship - remember he was just your friend, not even a bf.

Fast forward a few years and you go out with him for drinks. Again, where is the child.

You sleep with him, are you wanting another child?

You then question if he’s in a relationship - well he’s not in a relationship with you so why are you spreading your legs.

And yes 1950s hello.

But stop making stupid choices.

Tell his misses. Tell everyone the story - you had sex with him for fun, parents of the child, who have never been in a relationship…. Wrecked their new relationship.

Mummybasketball · 01/08/2021 01:30

You went out for drinks and you didn’t think about the hotel room he had booked.

Come on girl, be smarter.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2021 01:37

FFS, use your brain. You really want to throw a grenade into the relationship you have with your child's father? Start being more sensible and stop sleeping with your ex.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 01/08/2021 01:45

Not worth causing shit with your childs father over. Leave him to it.

ZednotZee · 01/08/2021 02:05

Cheap date?

Did I stumble and awake in 1982 ?!?

Carrotca · 01/08/2021 02:09

@Mummybasketball you're far too invested in this Grin get over yourself.

Obviously the child is being looked after. And
"You got pregnant out of a serious relationship - remember he was just your friend, not a bf" - well there's Obviously some attraction there otherwise they wouldn't of had sex in the first place. You know, women are allowed sex for fun.

YesDisney · 01/08/2021 02:11

These responses Shock

WTF? Am I even reading? How is it relevant who’s looking after the child? I’m sure the OP didn’t leave the kid in a cardboard box in a back alley somewhere FFS.

Does she want another child? Because she had sex for fun? Majority of of people, those in relationships included, have sex for fun without wanted a child.

Cheap date? Christ on a bike.

Bunch of 1950’s judgy fuckers out this morning!

Women are allowed to have sex for fun if they want to! She checked his relationship status and he lied. OP hasn’t done anything wrong.

Fuck me dead.

1forAll74 · 01/08/2021 02:20

It would put you in a bad light, if you told the Father of your baby''s girlfriend, that you had slept with him in hotel room. To her, you will both seem a bit rubbishy.

sammylady37 · 01/08/2021 02:22

well he’s not in a relationship with you so why are you spreading your legs

Eh? Should only people in relationships have sex? There was I thinking it was something consenting adults do if they want to, didn’t realise there needed to be this social construct of a relationship around it.

And ‘spreading your legs’ is a horribly misogynistic term and another attempt to shame a woman for having sex. What a vile poster you are.

PersonaNonGarter · 01/08/2021 02:27

I think there are men on this thread. Just saying.

Catflapkitkat · 01/08/2021 02:48

It's a bit late to worry about his partner/ex girlfriend. And clearly he doesn't. You really need to sort out your own feelings towards this man. Do you want a relationship with this man? Sleeping with the co-parent of your child was always going to blur the boundaries.

Original poster
Namechange125 · 01/08/2021 08:26

DD was being looked after by my mum. DD does see his girlfriend occasionally. If he was honest about being in a relationship, I wouldn't have slept with him.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 01/08/2021 08:31

What’s more important to you? Revenge on him for lying to you or keeping a good co parenting relationship.

Ethelfromnumber73 · 01/08/2021 08:31

@sammylady37

well he’s not in a relationship with you so why are you spreading your legs

Eh? Should only people in relationships have sex? There was I thinking it was something consenting adults do if they want to, didn’t realise there needed to be this social construct of a relationship around it.

And ‘spreading your legs’ is a horribly misogynistic term and another attempt to shame a woman for having sex. What a vile poster you are.

Totally agree. Made me feel queasy. Haven't heard that phrase since used by horrible teenage boys at school. Uggh.
MrsN100 · 01/08/2021 08:33

If he was honest about being in a relationship, I wouldn't have slept with him.

Oh please. You knew he had a room booked, but didn't think anything of it.
You knew what you were doing.

DinosaurDiana · 01/08/2021 08:35

I would tell her because I’d want to know if it was me.
She can do whatever she wants with that info.

ohthatbloodycat · 01/08/2021 08:37

This doesn't ring true to me. So during the course of your whole evening out together, he doesn't mention the tiny fact that he had split from his partner?
What on earth did you talk about all night?? Confused

KingdomScrolls · 01/08/2021 08:38

Girlfriend aside, sleeping with the father of your daughter with whom you are not in a relationship is always going to be messy. Why do you want to tell her? Do you hope he'll break up with her? Are there feelings on your side? He doesn't seem like a very nice person.

It also strikes me as odd that if you're not in a relationship or interested in one, your mum would have your daughter so the two of you can go out together. If you want to go out that's a great time for her dad to spend more time with her. Different if you're together as it's important to have space for the intimate relationship as well as the day to day family responsibilities.

Hemingwaycat · 01/08/2021 08:43

Bit strange going out for drinks with your DC’s Dad, I’d probably avoid doing that in future. I don’t think I’d tell her, your DC comes first and I wouldn’t want to ruin the good co-parenting relationship.

LemonTT · 01/08/2021 08:43

@Aquamarine1029

FFS, use your brain. You really want to throw a grenade into the relationship you have with your child's father? Start being more sensible and stop sleeping with your ex.
This is spot on.

I assume the OP decided to check the phone to see who was calling. She is not a disinterested friend of her child’s father. She was putting her wants over her child’s needs.

Bluntness100 · 01/08/2021 08:49

@Namechange125

DD was being looked after by my mum. DD does see his girlfriend occasionally. If he was honest about being in a relationship, I wouldn't have slept with him.
Really?
3scape · 01/08/2021 08:49

Oh my god. People are fucking batshit. Judgy shite because an adult woman willingly had sex and had a night away from her child.

Wants? Needs? You get a snapshot and do some major 3+ 7 = 67. I suggest you get your judgy arses back to church pews of the middle ages where they belong and practice your sanctimous bullshit there.

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