Aibu to think that parents who stare at their phone and completely blank their children are a bit shit really.

[gingganggooleywotsit]

Ok I am being judgey and I know I’m only seeing a snapshot of someone’s life but it’s really upsetting me. I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop for a couple of hours doing a bit of work and there is a couple there with a 5 year old boy and they are literally glued to their phones. He’s having to hit them round the head practically to get them to look at him. He has nothing to play with keeps nearly running in the traffic and they will not look up from their phones. Little boy looks really upset. Yeah they might be working too I’ve been there wiith my kids but give the boy something to do or at least make eye contact occasionally! It’s like he’s invisible. 😞

Presumably if they are in their own house they can watch TV or play with toys though.

ODFOD!!

I'm working from home through the summer and with a huge lack of summer childcare options, what do you suggest I do to pay my mortgage?

Mind your own business and concentrate on pulling your judgy pants out of your butt!

@gotalottolose

I work as a freelancer, and while I do most of my work in the evenings during the holidays (I work 6pm when DH gets home until around 2am), I do often have to reply to emails during the day. This means I’m one of those shit parents who is glued to their phones when the kids are at soft play or in the park. I probably look a bit zombiefied due to having a SEN child and less than 5 hours sleep a night. And sometimes I’m dismissive when he says the same thing to me for the thousandth time that day because he gets obsessive thoughts in his head. Nice to know that other mothers are silently judging me though.

Only a few idiots- and they're not worth worrying about 💐

I judge but do it myself too. Its a mad world

Yes I'm working right now and ignoring my child, however they are here at home and have loads of things to occupy them. Not the same as sitting in a cafe with nothing to do!

@Bryonyshcmyony

Presumably if they are in their own house they can watch TV or play with toys though.

Nah, my kids are following me around asking for drinks, food and insisting I watch videos of a screaming man on yoi tube with them.

I'm not even going to justify myself. Yes I do it.

@1forAll74

“…and got in a paddy”

This phrase is anti-Irish slur and yet it’s rife on this site. Please think before using it again.

YANVU

You don’t know what that family are up to. Don’t be so judgey.

I was once on holiday with my DH and family in a coffee shop. This man came over and berated my DH for being on his phone and not interacting with his DC, young teens. My DH was actually booking a very fancy restaurant for us to go to and a boat trip at the time. He’s a very generous man and crap parenting eh?

If I’m on my phone with my kids it’s because I’m probably sorting something out for THEM.

I don't think a coffee shop is a place that you should be ignoring a young child for long because it invariably impacts on other people.

As people have said.. this is a snapshot. We as parents we all look at phones while kids are playing. She may have had work to do, she may have been dealing with a family crisis. We just don't know.

The other side of this is the children who are continually ignored while parents are trawling social media or playing the Xbox.
I work in education and we are seeing more and more pupils with attachment disorder.
This has huge lifelong consequences.
Some children are coming into education having very little conversation and it definitely is concerning.
While it's important not to judge from a simple snapshot, the repercussions of repeatedly ignoring children are not good.

@gotalottolose is correct, being a mum to SEN kids is very stressful, my DDs are 12&13 and you will often find me zoning out on my phone after being asked the same question for the 74858584th time that day. It’s a welcome escape sometimes whilst I’m out.

I was the same with my eldest though and she didn’t have SEN, kids are full on and a mum at the park, in Costa or soft play scrolling their phone and disengaging doesn’t mean their kid was unwanted and is unloved.

Christ on a bike, so many judgmental arseholes!

If you’re all so busy watching other parents and judging them then who is interacting with your perfect children who need entertainment all the time?

YABU, they might be exhausted and worn out or waiting for important news, or it might be thebodd 5 minute rest after playing with their children. You don't know. Judgy.

Someone had a go at me for being on my phone once as I was "ignoring my child" , I was looking at the map as I was lost. You've no idea what they are doing so you judgmental lot should mind your own god damned business! And maybe get a hobby!

Nobody really knows but there are lots of terrible parents about without a shadow of a doubt.
No need for it we are not living in the 1800s.

It does make me sad. It's also annoying, as you can guarantee those who ignore their kids will later complain the children are 'badly behaved' or 'play up' - yes, that's frustration. It's a symptom of being considered a noisy nuisance and no one taking the slightest interest in you.

Talk to your kids, engage and behaviour miraculously improves...

I saw one today with their phone fixed to the pushchair handle playing a cartoon for the baby.

@Loubiemoo I hope you called social services?

unplanned/unwanted children? Sadly.

That's a bigger leap than Skippy on steroids.

I’m really glad iPhones weren’t really a thing when my DC were little. I see this all the time. Parents who can’t be arsed engaging with their kids. What does it tell the kids? That phones are more interesting and important than people. Spotted one poor kid stuck with his parents at a restaurant last week. Both parents glued to devices. The kid resigned to it. Depressing.

I don't understand how people get to disengage from young kids for more than a few minutes in places like coffee shops without them wreaking havoc.

[quote Piglet89]@1forAll74

“…and got in a paddy”

This phrase is anti-Irish slur and yet it’s rife on this site. Please think before using it again.[/quote]
Ah here...

I find it odd because I only have a work phone so don't have one for personal use. When I go out with husband and teens their phones are always not too far away. Its quite sad really that you cannot manage a small amount of time without them.

there's a big difference between a mum who is at the park and on the phone as her kids are running around having fun, and putting it down as they come and ask for something, and a mum who is on her phone, whilst the child is next to her, desperately trying to engage her in conversation, and the child is completely ignored for her phone and then told to bugger off, sadly even heard 'p* off'.

I was last year on the train back home, 2 hours journey. 4 seats facing. A mum was there with her boy who looked about 5, whose was on his first train journey. For more than 1/2 hour, he kept saying 'mum, mum, mum, look there's a horse, look mum, there's a tractor, mum, where do you think the other train is going. Mum, why did we stop'. He was adorable, so excited, so engrossed, and so wanted to communicate with his mum and not once, not once did she look up from her phone and respond to him. After all this time, I felt so sorry for him, I started to talk to him. His excited and eager response did made me wonder how often it happened. After we exchanged a few words, she looked me up, gave me a dirty look and got another phone and told him to play a game.

I really don't think it's an exception. Some parents can't be bothered to engage and that's that. It's one of the key reasons why kids gets free childcare at 3, and some at 2.