Aibu to think that parents who stare at their phone and completely blank their children are a bit shit really.

[gingganggooleywotsit]

Ok I am being judgey and I know I’m only seeing a snapshot of someone’s life but it’s really upsetting me. I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop for a couple of hours doing a bit of work and there is a couple there with a 5 year old boy and they are literally glued to their phones. He’s having to hit them round the head practically to get them to look at him. He has nothing to play with keeps nearly running in the traffic and they will not look up from their phones. Little boy looks really upset. Yeah they might be working too I’ve been there wiith my kids but give the boy something to do or at least make eye contact occasionally! It’s like he’s invisible. 😞

I was a sahm for about 6 years, with my school for every second of the day attending to evry single whim, cry, need etc without a break or anyone to help.
Parks, soft play etc were a chance for me to mentally escape momentarily..

If I knew for a fact that the parent spent all day everyday on their phone and didn't engage with their children at all then yes I would judge. However, parents like that are few and far between I would imagine. A snapshot of half an hour or so of the kids not getting their parents complete and utter undivided attention...no I wouldn't judge.

Also, would you be so judgemental if the parent was chatting to a friend and not involving her child with the conversation, or reading a book, checking a map or whatever. Or is it just phones that cause the judgment?

Obviously some won't be diligent parents acutely aware of their dc needs.

@MrsTophamHat

it's not Angela's Ashes.

This made me laugh!

Me too

Every parent is shit at something and no parents are perfect.

I think there's a difference between going on your phone while your kid is playing in a park or softplay or has something to do, versus being in a cafe where they have nothing to do. And if there's two of you, probably you can take turns having a break?

I definitely don't entertain my child 100% of the time but that doesn't I mean I just tune out whenever I want either.

For me the issue here is that he was seemingly looking for a bit of attention and was bored. Seems a bit unfair on the adults to entertain themselves and not ensure that the child has some suitable form of entertainment.

But in general as long as everyone is happy and behaving in a venue suitable way I couldn’t give two hoots about who is playing in a phone or whatever at another table

I think the judgement may be related to the fact that we cannot see what the parent is doing on the phone. They may be ordering a food shop - would we be similarly judgemental if the parent were shopping in a supermarket or doing work tasks, and ignoring the child?

I see this a lot, it’s quite sad. I also saw a women walk a small child aprox 5/6 to school, hand in hand, and she had these massive earphones on. What’s wrong with talking and interacting with your child?

I like this picture.
I wouldn’t ignore my child while they run towards a road but I also won’t feel ‘shamed’ for checking my phone either.

I think there is a difference between 2 parents on their phones for a couple of hours, both ignoring their 5 year old who seems to have nothing to do, and being on a phone while a child is occupied and busy - park, soft play etc

CakeandGo

That picture is great. Thank you!

I don't think you can judge based on a snapshot. I think it's a very recent idea that a parent needs to entertain their child & watch it at all times

unplanned/unwanted children? Sadly.

@DingDongThongs bit of a leap. Our child was very much wanted but we are entitled to a few minutes peace. Parents constantly entertaining their children is a relatively new thing

unplanned/unwanted children? Sadly.

😆

I leave my phone in the car if I go to a cafe or restaurant with other people.

i saw this whilst waiting in the doctors, child kept looking at mom trying to make eye contact, making noises wanting attention and the mom was just staring at her phone the whole time , at least quarter of a hour this went on for then the child started getting fed up and she eventually took them out of the pushchair

@simonisnotme

i saw this whilst waiting in the doctors, child kept looking at mom trying to make eye contact, making noises wanting attention and the mom was just staring at her phone the whole time , at least quarter of a hour this went on for then the child started getting fed up and she eventually took them out of the pushchair

You would have hoped that in a doctors waiting room you would be safe from people judging your parenting given nobody really goes there for fun!

If I'm on my phone for an extended period of time, I'd usually try to make sure my DC had something to do (even if it was a tablet or another screen). It would usually be for work reasons and unavoidable.

I think if ever there is a time to cut someone a bit of bloody slack is when they are waiting to see a doctor, ffs.

i saw this whilst waiting in the doctors, child kept looking at mom trying to make eye contact, making noises wanting attention and the mom was just staring at her phone the whole time , at least quarter of a hour this went on for then the child started getting fed up and she eventually took them out of the pushchair

Perhaps she wasn't feeling well.

Well let's give @Foxyloxy1plus1 parent of the year award
They might have had to work unexpectedly, one of their parents may have died and they were organising a funeral, the house could have burned to the ground overnight and they were trying to find suitable accommodation.... or they are just shite parents! You don't know from what you've seen what they are so 🤷‍♀️
Also, pro tip: you will get far more work done if you are not sat gawping at other parents judging them!

Judgey much.

I've largely ignored my kids most of the day today because I'm cleaning the house top to bottom ready for them to trash it over the summer holiday. Their dad, my husband, is at work, before anyone asks. This is socially acceptable. But God forbid, mum and dad want ten minutes to themselves.

You can witness this everyday in all sorts of places. It is usually women phone addicts, who are so taken up with their phones, that they are in another world, even with their children with them..

I was in a beer garden at the village pub, well before lockdowns. and was sat at the next table to a young Mother, with her young son, aged about four, She was constantly on the phone, and her young son was trying to speak to her, and she told him to be quiet. He started getting upset, and got in a paddy, and started to throw crisp packets on the floor, and stamping about round the table, she got more annoyed with him, and flung him on the seat, then he started crying, then she took a photo of him crying. and said, right, we are going home now after your naughty behaviour.